Lead Me

Today has been one of those Mondays [and not the kind my close friend and fellow Parrothead sang about when he said, "Come Monday it'll be alright"] where a skull splitting headache is the perfect end to the day.  I cannot say there was one thing that made it especially hard just a lot to do and not enough time to get it done. 

I started working on a grant about two weeks ago because it was due today.  Guess when I finished it?  Yep...today.  Two weeks ago would have been grand but why do ahead of time what you can put off until the 11th hour? [Lord I sure hope my children don't take after me in the procrastination department.]  I tried to finish it last night so I could "polish" it up today but that wasn't the case.  I did manage to pull it together so we'll see what happens.
I had my friends over for a Pampered Chef party.  I'm not the hostess with the mostest but I do love some Pampered Chef.  I also saw this as a great opportunity to have some girl time with good friends.  The food was fabulous!! Seriously, whodathunk you could bake a cake in the microwave?  We ate like queens tonight, laughed, and enjoyed ourselves. 

Back to my headache [you may have forgotten but I sure didn't]...once Craig got home from a stirring night of intellectual discussion in his graduate class my headache reminded me that it was still hanging on.  It was just about par for the course that there isn't one single Advil, Tylenol, or Aleve in this house - not even children's medicine! [What's up with that?  I have four kids so one would think there would be a chewable something I could take but nope...none-ya...notta....zip...zilch...nothing!] I resorted to laying in complete darkness.  And while I layed there, in the near fetal position, it occured to me that I try to do so much on my own.  Not on my own like my favorite coach or kiddos don't help but alone without asking God to help me...take on my burdens and worry...lead me. 

The song by Sanctus Reel came to mind..Lead me 'cause I can't do this alone.  God hit me right square between the eyes [not literally but it sure felt like it] and said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest ~ Matthew 11:28.  Who am I to think that I could take on being mom, wife, teacher, daughter, sister, friend, etc. without God's help?  I'll tell ya who I am...I am a woman with a skull splitting headache, bent shoulders, and too much on her mind.   And it is my own fault....I cannot do this on my own.  Today I sure did try and failed miserably.  But just like the Bible says in Lamentations 3:22-23: Because of the Lord's great Love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." 

Tomorrow will be a new day and I will begin this one by asking God for his guidance and mercy....and then I will let him take the lead....

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Where is Gabe?

Last night Gabe was missing.  Not really "missing" like panic but more like "Gabe is somewhere messing with something.  Gabe!  Where are you?" [At our house, if Gabe gets super quiet you better go look for him because he's up to something.]  It was 9:30ish, and all of us were really tired so we were thinking of going to bed.  I was in the bedroom and came back into the living room and asked the other four, "Where is Gabe?"  Craig answered, "He's in the bathroom."  I let about three minutes go by and then I yelled, "Gabe are you OK?"  And nothing....

So I ventured into the bathroom to find him, on the potty, ASLEEP!  Poor kid was doubled over, sound asleep.  When I tried to stand him up his feet were asleep!  He started crying [who can blame him really] and then he tried to lay down on the floor. I yelled, "How long has he been in here?"  to which one of the smart alec Shorties replied, "Uh, long enough to go to sleep!"  I was not happy and Gabe was even less happy than me.  Bless his heart.....I let him fall asleep beside me on the couch. 

Welcome to our world! That little incident right there would be FANTASTIC fodder for reality TV!  Nobody but us would allow their five year old to fall asleep on the toilet while doing his business...I could not make this stuff up if I tried!!!  

We Want A Reality TV Show

[Shameless Plug #2 - Last time I checked, Step Away Chubby was all the way in 58th place overall and in the top 16 in family blogs so please, please, please keep voting!!!!!  I don't get a thing from this except feeling good that people are reading and liking my stuff so help me out!!!]

I despise reality TV - alot.  My least favorite show is American Idol [Is Steven Tyler alive?].  I cannot stand the way they make fun of people on the show.  I just don't like it. ["Well change the station!" some of you just said....I don't have to because I don't watch it.]  Craig and I were talking last night and we decided that if we must endure all these other reality shows then we should get one of our own.  Seriously.  I mean, there is a some good stuff that happens around here...really. 

Last night Craig was flipping through the channels and he lands on Swamp People.  First of all, these are some seriously crazy folks [see, we have that crazy stuff down pat].  They hunt alligators - big gators.  Very interesting....After this show, Craig made us watch Appalachia Snake Man.  [The word Appalachia does hint at something doesn't it?]  Yep...we watched the entire show.  Her name is Reva and his is Verlin.  He is a snake hunter and they live in the mountains of Kentucky.  On last night's show they were going camping....in WEST VIRGINIA!  Whodathunk it?

The story being told in last night's episode was not that interesting.  They were going to WV to a church reunion [come to find out, Verlin is a snake handler at church] and the whole family was going to camp.  Before they left, though, they had to visit the youngest child's school to discuss some bullying issues. The camera' showed them sitting in the lobby, waiting on the principal, and when he arrived we found out their last name................S-H-O-R-T!!! That's right - they are the Shorts from the Appalachian Mountains of Kentucky, with four kids - 2 boys and 2 girls - and a snake handlin' daddy. [We are redneck, we live near a mountain, and we have four kids.....I ain't handlin' venemous snakes but surely there is something interesting about us?!] 

Craig and I laughed so hard when we heard their last name...it is a sign. [Of what I don't know.] Maybe someone out there will read this that has connections with some big reality TV producer, and the Shorties will finally hit the big time!

As always, life as a Short is fun :)

Playlist Potential

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I've spent some time working on a new playlist.  I love my playlist.  I love music [odd coming from a girl that couldn't carry a tune in a tin bucket].  I've posted before how my family loves to sing [along with eat, watch shameless TV like Lizard Lick towing, and laugh].  I spent some time just listening to some tunes from my past [I guess it isn't just mine but THE past] and some I enjoy presently. 
There isn't one genre represented.  I'm not sure some of them even fit a genre [Vanilla Ice?  Come on Eileen?] but they are just a very small piece of my musical faves.  Some of them bring back some super awesome memories [like Cheap Trick's The Flame reminds me of the concert tshirt I ripped up, with a fork, at Untouchables, because I was mad at a boy....good thing HE gave me the tshirt.] RCHP so reminds of Stephanie and cruising the court square and Lollapalooza [don't ask...]. Tesla makes me think of sitting in my room on a summer night, calling the radio station, then winning tickets to see them in concert [and rednecks...lots and lots of rednecks].

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds [does not remind me of LSD for those of you curious] and Levon remind of laying in living room floor beside my daddy.  We would listen and talk and sing and laugh.  He would share his words of wisdom about life and I would listen....good memories.  Many of my musical influences are from him. One time, he and I went to see Doc Watson at Spirit Square just after his son Merle died.  My  mom was unable to go so my dad took me.  I didn't appreciate it then [what teenager ever does] but I sure did enjoy listening to that music...and still do. Stagger Lee is a throwback from some Sunday afternoon drive to my Grandmother's house while listening to beach music.  My parents are the sole reason I am such a huge Jimmy Buffet fan, while the Eagles are my all time favorite group [I have my dad's Hotel California album in the attic] , and the people who introduced me to Garth Brooks [I guess I should thank them for that] and Led Zepplin. 

Of course T.Swizzle is the influence of my dearest Moo and Flossie. Blink 182, Foo Fighters, and Shinedown are direct influences of my favorite coach ♥ [He LoVeS Jesus, he can cook, he can clean, and he likes really cool music ~ what else could a girl ask for?] 

Some of the songs remind me of different times when I wasn't who I am today. I will always love Phil Collin's Rain Down and Eric Clapton's You Look Wonderful Tonight but not for the reasons I used to love them....I am thankful that particular part of my life is over and gone.  Regrets? A few.  Would I do it all over again?  Probably, but this time I wouldn't be a spectator.

Last, but certainly not least, I left my DC*B in there.  Oh How He Loves Us is ALWAYS on my mind...always.  One of our lessons from Micah and our evening study of the 10 Commandments this past Sunday is that we worship a jealous God.

"He is jealous for me. Loves like a hurricane and I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.....if His grace is an ocean then we're all sinking....I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us."







I loves me some David Crowder Band [I know you would have never figured that out on your own].  I think that Natalie Grant's Your Great Name might be one of the most amazing and powerful songs ever.  The list could go on and on and on.... 

Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know...Let's get outta here ~ word to your mother....

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Mending Broken Hearts: Part Deux

I was asked to speak at my church on Mother's Day several years ago.  I am not a public speaker [though I do play one on TV] so I decided to ask some of my friends at work what were their thoughts on motherhood.  The one, from my dear sweet friend CeCe, still rings in my ears when my children are hurting:  Being a mother means you  will forever wear  your heart outside your body. 

That couldn't be any more true than right now.  My Coop's girlfriend broke his little heart this past weekend with a text message. [A sign of the times my friends, a sign of the times.]  It happened Friday night but he didn't tell me until Saturday morning.  Then, my heart was broken for him.  He's just a baby [and momma's boy] and it pained me greatly to see him choke back his tears so that he didn't cry in front of me. 

It seems like such a distant memory when I think about the heart breaks I've suffered [or caused] and I seem to have faired pretty well...and he will too.  If you know Coop then you know he's all about being Mr. Cool but, at the end of the day, he's got a huge heart.  He is such a loving boy [a boy that is nearly 6 feet tall and has a wing span of over 6 feet but still a boy] and he wouldn't hurt a flea.  When he told me that he wasn't mad but that his feelings were just hurt all I knew to say was that I loved him.

I know, that eventually, she and he will be friends again. I know that there will also be more heartbreaks to come...and he'll probably dish out one or two.  He spent the night with a friend of his and I texted him good night and let him know that it was going to be ok.  His reply? "I sure hope so...."  I told him that maybe God needs his attention somewhere else and that He always has a plan...and Coop agreed.

He was a little happier today and had a little more pep in his step [Molly will certainly make fun of that one].  He knows that it isn't the end of the world...and mom does too. On the upside, she is a sweet girl and if he had it to do all over, I would approve :) Being 13 is not easy and I know that very well [I teach them everyday and I was an awkward 13 year old once too].

I will be honest in saying that raising kids has been and will always be THE hardest job....and the absolute most rewarding.  What a blessing to be able to go through heartaches like these for it gives us yet another reason to praise God. 
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How Do I Love God?

Our minister is currently preaching on the book of Malachi.  He just started last week.  I confess, I've never read through the book of Malachi.  Like I said in an earlier post, I have great difficulty following the Old Testament [I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to inferencing and double meanings].  We only focused on Malachi 1: 1-5 this morning but he posed two questions to us as a congregation: How does God love us? [He loved Jacob despite the fact that he stole Esau's birthright AND then tricked Isaac into thinking he was Esau.  He sent His one and only son to die for our sins.]  Bro. Chip's second question to us was how do we love God?

It isn't enough for us just to say that we love God. According to James 2:14 - 24, if we have faith without works then our faith is not enough:

What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? ¹⁵ Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶ If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? ¹⁷ In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

¹⁸ But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. ¹⁹ You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.  ²⁰ You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? ²¹ Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? ²² You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. ²³ And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. ²⁴ You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.

I have taken this question to heart.  I desire to know God more intimately.  Being a mother to four kids, from age 16 to age 5 [Yes, from high school to preschool - there is not a dull moment here at our house] I have a committment to my family to walk with Christ in a way that is reflected in my daily life.  Do they know how I love God?  That is important to me. 

As I begin a new Bible study this week on David, I am looking forward to being able to really get a better grasp on the Old Testament [and that would be by having someone explain it to me].  I am totally excited to be able to be a part of this Bible study.

In other news, I do not know if I will survive this teenage heartbreak stuff....geez!  It breaks my heart to see my children get their feelings hurt.  I know they will be fine but it just makes me sad to see one them so sad.  I prayed for peace and understanding.....I know God will take care of it :) 

As always, life as a Short is good!

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So Daddy, How Do You Feel About Talking?

[Voting for Top Mommy Blogs is fixed...I think.  I had the wrong code.  All you do is hit the button (it will take you to the website) and you have voted.  Pretty simple....as long as I did it correctly.  Thanks in advance for your votes and pass Step Away along to your friends and family ~ I love new peeps (and the old ones too!!!)]

The Gabester gets a smiley face that is indicative of his behavior each day.  Today, that smile was turned upside down.  Instead of telling his Daddy that he got in trouble for talking today he got in the car and asked, "So Daddy, how do you feel about about talking?" Craig wasn't too sure why Gabe was asking this question but he soon found out.  "I mean, everyone talks don't they?"  Apparently, Gabe and his minions [aka the entire class] decided that talking alot would be fantastic today. He found out talking, all day long, with reckless abandon [and when ya ain't supposed to be talking] gets one little pre-schooler a frowny face.  But hey, all people like to talk don't they?

I still haven't picked up my $12 table - I hope tomorrow is the day.  I am so looking forward to that repurposing [little word I picked up stalking searching the 10 zillion craft blogs out there] project for Emma's room.  I can't do anything to my desk [remember that whole the-guy-from-Craigslist-might-kill-us incident] or the 1970ish table until it gets warmer.  Come on spring time!!

I need some book ideas.  I am in a book-reading-rut.  I ♥ to read [come on....I'm a super nerd] but I can't seem to find that book.  I am reading my Bible and a new book that our youth pastor suggested entitled The Christian Atheist.  I've decided that as an upcoming project I would like to learn more about apologetics [according to Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry website it is the branch of Christianity that deals with defense of and the establishment of the Christian faith].  Now, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed and I've confessed that sometimes I get lost reading the good book but this seems very interesting to me.  Of course, as with anything I do, please pray for me!  I would also like any suggestions for reading material that any of you have but please be warned: I do not like love stories [aka trashy romance], books with talking animals [that is just super creepy...I almost didn't make it through The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe because of those blasted beavers and Animal Farm was a nightmare but necessary in graduate school], or science fiction [A Wrinkle in Time, though weird, was pretty good but I wouldn't read another book like it].  So...there you have it....a few "rules" for you to follow when thinking of a book to suggest for me :)

Today has been a day of self doubt for me.  I don't know why but today I felt like a terrible teacher. [Now, get this straight, I am NOT searching for a compliment or a pat on the back. I promise.  Just being honest.] It's been an incredibly long week in my class.  I'm not sure why but every eye roll, huff and puff at assignments [and there have been PLENTY...trust me], and lack of effort has really weighed on my spirit.  Blah.  My God says that "He has plans to give me a hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11) and that "He gives me a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline" (1Timothy 1:7). Most of all, I have to "work at it with all my heart as if working for the Lord and not for men" (Colossians 3:23). It will all be OK...and for that I am hopeful. 

As always, life as a Short is really good :)

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Top Mommy Blogs

In some of my blogging adventures last night I came across Top Mommy Blogs.  I decided that I would apply to be a member.  I was chosen!  [Now this isn't monumental news like, "I won the lottery!" or "I just lost .25 pounds!" or "I have cheesecake!" but it was kind of a big deal to me.] I am super excited that Step Away might get some new peeps [of course I love all of my original peeps who faithfully follow, comment, and even understand what life can be like sometimes.] 

Here is your job:
1. Tell all your peeps to read the blog.
2. After you do #1 then tell them to vote for me.
3. After they vote for me then ask them to tell someone new to read and vote. 

I love, love, LOVE writing this blog.  It's kind of funny because I don't like writing.  I think it's because I never was very good at constrained writing [i.e. research papers, essays, and crap like that]. I dig this free writing stuff - there isn't anyone checking behind me to correct my grammar, though I am sure that some of you abhor [that would be an SAT vocab word I learned tonight while helping Moo study for her English exam] my writing style [and yet you keep coming back, again and again].  I seriously could make a living out of this writing stuff [just last night I wanted to be a crafter or vintage furniture person...I so wish I could decide on a pipe dream]. Maybe someone with some connections [other than free fries at McDonald's] will read my stuff and think it's cool.  Who knows what might happen?

Craig and I are going to get to reconnect with a very special girl that we met in Canada.  She was on our Upwards Team and we had an amazing experience getting to know her.  God certainly had a plan for Craig by putting them together.  He quickly became "Coach Craig" and she quickly became wrapped around his finger :) We lost touch for a while but thanks to Facebook [there is one good thing to come from Facecrack] we found her mom and are going to be able to post messages to her.  We are also making plans to Skype with her soon.  And maybe, if it is in His plan, we'll get to go back to Calgary and visit sometime. 

I failed to mention two Gabenese moments yesterday.  First, he told my dad the other night that he knows that "Pokyo" sent those planes and hit the US. [He watched part of the movie, Pearl Harbor, while staying with Craig's mom a couple of weeks ago. He is part elephant because he never forgets and part goat because he grazes instead of eating a meal.]  Monday morning he asked me what the word decent meant.  I said it means [trying to explain it in five year old terms] good.  He then points to his Cinnamon Toast Crunch and says, "Well then this cereal is decent baby!" Gotta love him because he keeps it interesting round these parts. 

Operation Get Flossie Organized is in day two and so far, so good.  She thoroughly enjoyed having her clothes ready this morning.  She even told Mrs. Wilson [her morning chauffuer] how excited she was so we'll see how it goes.  Hopefully I will get to work on her room this weekend. [And I gotta beg Short for that $12 to get the table at the store in town so keep your fingers crossed.]

Not a bad start to the week :) As always, life as a Shortie is good!

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Hoarding, Hobbies, and Having it All

I've said it often that Emma is going to end up in a tattoo parlor when she gets older [16, 17, 18 years old...] but after spending over an hour in her room, cleaning up, I am convinced she will be on that show for hoarders.  God bless the sweet little thing but she keeps EVERYTHING!  She had small piles of stuff all over her dresser [that was clean if you lived in her world] and the pajama/undies/sock drawer of her dresser wouldn't even shut.  It is a work in progress.  I have to cover the lovely Sharpie drawing that Gabe left her when I was out of town last year [which makes me think...where was her daddy when the babe had a Sharpie marker?].  I am going to make her a chalk board on the wall and all of my time on Pinterest has paid off...I found a DIY chalkboard paint recipe.  I have plans for creating her an art center using metal flashing [I am not a heating and air chick but I do play one on TV] so hopefully this will help her get and stay organized [I'm not holding my breath but it's worth a shot]. We even went so far as to hang up an outfit for every school day, complete with a tag for that day. [Pinterest is just awesome:)] I love her....she's my Flossie ♥

Can I just say how very much I am in love with Craig Hobby Lobby? I made Gabe, Coop, and one of Coop's friends go with me today after a trip to Dick's Sporting Goods.  I mean I could spend HOURS in there...seriously.  I don't often get to go anywhere alone [yes, even the bathroom....I have four kids and they find me] so when Coop and his crew hit the car [1.2 seconds after we entered], I took advantage of it and spent some time looking around.  I ended up with the letter S [I will share later what I'll be crafting with it], some of this E6000 glue all these craft blogs talk about, some hair clips, and shiny gems to make Emma some hair bows.  However, I saw a TON of things I'd like to have for the house and those will happen. 

I went to look around in the local thrift shops around town on Saturday.  I found an end table [circa 1970ish] that I really want.  Its $12.  I have plans to make Emma a small art table for her things so with some paint, some Mod Podge, some vintage Hawaiian post cards, and $12 I'm gonna have me an art table. [I seriously could make this a career.  Not sure how I would make it a career but I am sure somebody would want something I made. Now just to talk Short into this idea.....]. 

Prayers requested for some things that cannot be discussed in public.  No one is sick, there aren't any problems on the homefront, and the job situation is A-OK for both of us.  I just ask for prayers for peace, understanding, and most of all, wisdom to make decisions that are not easy.

We spent some time with my parents and my sister and her family on Saturday night.  My dad cooked hamburgers and hotdogs and then we roasted marshmallows and made s'mores.  We had the best time!  Mom, Dad, Craig, and I ended up sitting around the fire, trading laughs and talking.  The kids would come and go [mostly go b/c they were cold].  I realized [not that I haven't before now] how very blessed I am.  Having it all doesn't mean having the stuff and I'm content with what I have.   I have four healthy and amazing [like their momma] children, I have a wonderful marriage with a man who is Godly and my best friend, I have the best job in the world because I get to laugh all day and teach science [yeah for being a dork], I have a family that loves, supports, and encourages me, I am able to worship in public without fear, and I am a Jesus freak.  My house, my cars, my "stuff" really doesn't even enter into that  happiness.  I am blessed to have a nice house and cars but I am not going to put all of my happiness in the stuff that doesn't define me.  Having it all is awesome ♥

As always, life as a Short is good.
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Obedience

I've been AWOL for a few days...sorry.  We have been busy. [Excuses I know] and I just haven't made the time to write.

Part of my Bible study this morning was from the book of James.  We studied James at church when we first joined FBC-KM and I often like to go back and review this book.  God knows what we need when we need it [and what we need when we think we don't need anything] so I am sure this passage was intended to wake me up.   The subtitle of chapter 4 is "Submit Yourselves to God" and if you've been reading my blog for any length of time then you know this is a struggle for me.  I want to do things MY way [which often leads to trouble and mayhem] instead of just submitting to what God wants to do in my life.  The verse that actually hit me the hardest was verse 4: You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God." This is how I read it: You adulterous people [Missy] , don't you know that friendship with the world [Facebook, Twitter, gossip, laziness, gluttony, etc.]  is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses [spends time updating status', responding to comments, joining in gossip, etc.] to be a friend of the world [Facebook, Twitter, gossip, laziness, gluttony, etc.]  becomes an enemy of God."  God just wants my attention and I am too self absorbed and lazy to give it to Him.  Plain and simple.

If you read on, verse 8 says, " Come near to God and he will come hear to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." That isn't difficult at all - it is a simple request.  And not really anything to ask of me considering the Son of Man was nailed to a cross for MY sins.  It isn't about me at all but about Him.  It is about what I need to do to glorify God in my life.  Verse 10: "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." Humility is what it's all about :)

I like the book of James because it is that in-your-face, just do it kind of reading.  James lays it all out and all we have to do is be obedient.

As always, life as a Shortie is really good :)

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Last night's staying up to watch the National Championship and then the festivities afterwards has caught up with me....I so tired tonight. Had this been even 10 years [and 2 kids ago] staying up late like that would not have bothered me. Now? It's all catching up with me. I am a night owl [I am exactly the reason Emma and Molly both stay up half the night] and I can tell I've burned the midnight candle too many nights in a row. I am struggling and it is obvious when you look at me. I've been reading a lot of Pinterest posts [I am so addicted] about organization for the new year...it's January 10 and I need to get it together. I really need to start with going to bed earlier and getting up earlier. I need to exercise. I need to drink water [&%#$@$^] . I need to get it together and stop talking about it. Like Nike says: Just do it

As always, even when I am super tired, life is good :)
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When Daddy Let Me Drive

My Moo got her license today.  [Breathe in. Breathe out. Pray. Alot.] She is a good driver and very cautious.  I cannot pace the floor and ring my hands every time she leaves the house. [But I will.] I will have an ulcer AND weigh 400 pounds.

She picked up Coop from school today and I watched her pull out. [And yes....followed her car all the way until I couldn't see it from the sidewalk.] I know this will get easier. [I think] but it will never be like it was before.  How can time go by so very fast?  My prayers are always that God watch over my children and He always does....and I know He will this time. 

Her car is a straight drive but she's driving our cars [not at the same time 'cause that's just silly] until she gets some time under her belt and she learns to drive the stick shift.  If you see us around KM with those huge neck braces on then you'll know that Molly's been behind the wheel of the Accord.  [I mean, can't you turn in the driveway in second gear?]

I remember those days all too well...the days when my dad called me knucklehead more than once. [I'm thinking it was really more than a dozen times. In one day. But time heals and we forget. Not me.]  Bless the man's heart.  Seriously. I called and apologized to him for putting him through the learning of the straight drive.  I now know WHY he called me knucklehead.  I did learn how to drive a straight drive.  He still calls me knucklehead.  I still deserve it. [Most of the time.]

That's how dads are and I've seen that first hand today.  Short wanted to take her to the DMV and handle all the "stuff" of getting the license like insurance, etc. But deep down, he's scared to death and trying not to show it. [I can see it...and he told me.] He will be OK but he will also have an ulcer and weigh 600 pounds [he will weigh more because I don't want to be his size].

I remember my mom telling me [I had my license WAY before cell phones] that my dad paced the floor the first time I drove off.  All these years later he is still shouldering our worries.  His text back to me today was that now he had one more thing to worry about with Molly driving.  I would not be who I am today without his guidance, compassion, and acceptance of nothing less than my best. Sometimes alot of times I didn't understand why he did the things he did but now I know, as I raise my own children, that he was teaching me.  Best of all, he loved me [even when I got speeding tickets and had astronomical credit card bills and ruptured gas tanks and squeezed 4 years of college into 6 and --- OK...we can stop now.  Surely my sister did something that we remember.  Ummmm....nothing's coming to mind.] , loves me now and never fails to tell me. I love my daddy ♥

Life as a Short [anxiety and all] is the bomb dot com. [If you're dorky and you know it clap your hands! *Clap**Clap*]

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Cutting Cubans with Craig

Yesterday I was on the computer [I am sure it was on Pinterest - I need an intervention] when Gabe asked me, " Are you looking at Cubans?"  What?   Why would I be looking at Cubans?  Again, he asked, "Are you looking at Cubans?"  [Insert worried and extremely confused look at this point.] "Gabe, why would I be looking at Cubans?" and he replied, "I said are you looking at cuepuns [Gabenese for coupons]?"  Sad that he knows when I am on the computer that I am looking for coupons. Perhaps I am the sad one.

Today Craig helped me cut them out before my trip to the store.  He kept putting the coupon pictured below in my view and laughing.

He makes me laugh.  And I love him ♥
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Music Makes Us Happy

Here at the Short house we find ways to entertain ourselves on nights we have nothing to do.  We've been known to play rounds of Slap tha Booty [a game Gabe and Emma made up and yes, it is exactly what it sounds like - slapping of the booties], have knee races across the living room [another one that is played just like it sounds], or get out the karen dunkin' [Gabanese for karaoke] machine.  Last night was one of those nights.  We ended up playing old country music, dancing, and laughing.  Molly was on her iPhone [why does she have an iPhone?] playing tunes and I was on Youtube - we were trying to out do the other with songs.  Here are a few we played:

You Never Even Called Me By My Name - David Allen Coe

Classic song and proof that I am, in fact, a redneck. [I know that comes as a huge shock to some of you.  Sorry to dispell the myth that I wasn't.]

He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones

Craig loves to pick on me [he says I'm easy to pick on - he's mean]. One time we were listening to this song and I had a revelation, "Oh...he died." Craig has never let me forget it.

Leather and Lace - Stevie Nicks and Don Henley

One of my all time FAVORITE songs.  We've even listened to it so much that Molly loves it too.  We are awesome parents [as if some of you needed that little tidbit of information].  You cannot go wrong with a little Fleetwood Mac and a little bit of the Eagles at the same time.

The next song was NOT my pick but Molly's.  We did not introduce this song to her and I'm not sure who did but they need to be strangled.

Islands in the Stream - Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

Sorry - if we had to listen to it then so do you.  I'm a giver.

Our musical tastes, at best, is eclectic [that means diverse for you scratchin' your noggins] and interesting.  Just like life as a Shortie, you never know what you're going to get.   
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Maybe it was Operator Error. Who Asked You Random IT Guy?

I didn't blog last night...I am so sorry!!  I fell asleep [in the floor of the living room] @ 9:30 [with my jogging pants, sweatshirt, and SHOES still on] and didn't wake up until 1:30am [still in the floor] to actually go to bed.  One would think that Short would have been nice enough to wake me up or, at the very least, tell me to get on the couch.  But no, he left me in the floor. 

Yesterday I had my students create their own blog for a water pollution activity.  I figured that down the road we could always use them for other things.  I set them up so we are all on one account and only the peeps that are on this account can read the blog.  Of course, in typical fashion, there were some technical errors [honestly, it wouldn't be real teaching if there was something that goes wrong and the kids think you are bananas for trying something new].  Blogger kept asking some students to use a verification code that could only be sent via text message [Guess how many text my phone got in about 3.5 seconds?] while other students were able to set up their blog and do the assignment.  We typed in codes, switched from Explorer to Firefox, patted our heads while rubbing our stomachs [not really but I was almost to the point I wanted to try that] and still nothing. I gave up and let them work in groups.  

During the next class, [for dramatic effect] Mr. I-Work-In-Information-Technology-Therefore-My-Brain-Is-Larger-And-Smarter-Than-Yours Guy shows up [uninvited] while I had the technology person in the room to get her opinion.  Of course, there were zero issues with the individual blog set up in this class so he leaned over [I guess he thought I couldn't hear his voice when he was standing RIGHT behind me] and said, "Sounds like operator error to me," to which I replied, "No sir, I know what I am doing.  Incidentally, EVERY site that is worth using for this type of collaborative effort either A. Does not work on the set of iPads in my room or B. Is blocked by the school system's filter." [I wanted to add, "And C. Go away if  you are going to act as if you are > me."] Really?  Is it necessary for you to be condescending towards another person?  If you know so much then help us out instead of, in front of my entire class, calling me out.  Meanie.

Come to find out, it was simply a glitch in the system and not caused by the "operator"  Mrs. I-Am-A-Simpleton-But-I-Know-How-To-Set-Up-And-Use-A-Blog science teacher.  [The next time I want his opinion, I'll give it to him.]  People skills are a wonderful thing :)
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Where is pH on the Periodic Table?

The Hydrologic Cycle is so fascinating....to a science teacher who is also a grade a dork :)  We've been learning about water quality indicators and one of them is pH [some of you checked out at the word hydrologic....stick around ~ you might learn something].  I explained that the p stands for potential, the H for hydrogen so pH is the measurement of hydrogen ions in a substance.  "So why is the p small and the H big?"  [I feel so smart when they ask me stuff like that.]  "The p is small because if it were large then in might be mistaken for the element Phosphorus."

I get this question today: "Mrs. Short where did you get that chart [aka periodic table]?"  [I love to mess with them.] "I bought it at Wal-Mart. I even have one in  my living room at home."  And they said, "Really?"  Too easy...I am a huge geek but not that geeky.  The next question: "Where is pH on that chart?"  "The H stands for hydrogen but the p in pH is not an element but stands for potential."  The kid says, "I know.  You told us that yesterday [they really do listen even when their eyes are glazed over and they are drooling] but where is the pH on that chart?"  Did I miss something here?  I just said the pH we are speaking about is not on the chart. "Ok.  There is a P that stands for the element phosphorous but not one that stands for potential."  And he says, "So where is it on that chart?"  [At this point, I began to question whether or not I know if I really teach science or if I am even speaking English.]  "This p is for potential but that is the description of hydrogens and not an element."  His response?  "Oh...that makes sense."  And that, my friends, is just another day in 8th grade.

Just an FYI for anyone using the word ACID in a sentence...make sure you finish your thought and actually complete the word ACID  or it will be mistaken [at least by a group of 8th graders] as the A word.  "Did you just say the A word Mrs. Short?"  [At this point, after looking for the pH on the periodic table, there is a good chance I gave the formula for a cure to cancer and didn't know it.]  "If I did I was trying to say the word ACID so note to self: Finish the word ACID in the future." 

I love my job because there is never, ever a dull moment. Life as an 8th grade science teacher is awesome:)






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Hey! Welcome to Moe's....err....Craig's!

Back to the grind today [Molly and I took bets on how long it would take Craig to say that ~ he made it until supper tonight before he said is so Molly loses] and it sure was COLD!!  [Thank you Captain Obvious - it is January.]  All in all, it was  really good day :) 

Flossie has dance on Tuesdays so Craig volunteered to make supper for us tonight.  I came home to these awesome nachos:

He even fixed some for me and Moo with just tomatoes and then some for him with jalepenos and onions AND a whole 'nother pan with just cheese for the rest of the Shorties.  He is the best hubby ever!  [Plus now he has another feather in his I-might-just-be-the-best-cap.] 

 Of course Gabe was grazing.  He is a goat. 

 And this is his sister....the other goat.

 And here he is...the man [his words] and a legend in his own mind [my words]...the best nachos maker ever [or so we'll let him believe] and my favorite coach....Short ♥
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Well, What I Don't Get.....

Cooper says that Molly and Gabe are my favorites.  He tells Emma all the time that the two of them have to stick together since I love the oldest and the youngest  more.  He also said that every time I blog about him it is something negative.   This one's for him....

Cooper is hilarious!  I mean, seriously funny.  He is very witty [like his momma] and just off the cuff will crack a joke.  He's always been like this, even when he was small [Not that he's ever been small but when he was younger]. 

His impatience started before he was even born - he was due January 6 but came December 17. [Actually, Clinton approved for the US to bomb Iraq, Craig told me it might be the start of WWIII, I told him that would send me into labor, and guess who arrived the next day?]  As a baby he loved to smile and he loved noise.  We learned our lesson with baby #1 and we did not wait to put him in the bed after he was asleep [New parents are crazy!!].  We put him in the bed, every night, by 8:30 or so, asleep or not.  To this day, when the boy is tired, he does not lay on the couch or fall asleep in the chair - he goes to bed.  In fact, he can have friends over and when he's tired it is lights out for him

Getting ready for the Jingle Bell Run

 

He is a good kid.  He loves his brother and sisters [yes, even when he's complaining about them].  He takes very good care of all three of them. [If you call rubbing his bare stomach on Molly's face when she is totally oblivious (aka all the time) taking care of them then he's VERY good at that.]  He gets up every morning and fixes Emma's lunch.  Often, before school, he unloads and loads the dishwasher or helps with laundry.  He always loves on them and never leaves the house without hugs and kisses.  

 



Coming to the finish line!!

Back in December, Emma wanted to run in the Jingle Bell Run.  She's been doing the running club at school and was super excited about her first race. Coop volunteered to run with her...what an awesome brother!  [And it's a good thing because I ain't in no shape to run from here to the mailbox.]  He even carried her up a small hill, on his back.  He's just a super cool kid!

One of his favorite things to do is watch Youtube.  [Yes, I am a terrible mother.]  His favorite comedian is Jim Gaffigan.  I can see Coop doing stand up one day, in Vegas. [That is a good thing because Emma's going to need some family nearby....] 

He would die if he knew I was telling the world how smart he truly is and how for every smart thing he says there is one random piece of information.  His famous catch phrase is, "You know, what I don't get is..."  We know we are in for something good [I use that word "good" lightly sometimes] when we hear those words....

He is my Gigantor and my bubber and I ♥ him [even though I currently have to look up to look him in the eye.]

As always, life as a Shortie [and mom to the best Gigantor in the world] is awesome :)
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Blank Canvas

I have this blank wall in my living room in a big, empty space.  Now I am no Martha Stewart [well duh] when it comes to decorating.  I just don't have that "vision" that some people have [and  a lot of that green stuff people need to buy that "vision"].  But thanks to Pinterest [my latest addictions addition] I have discovered that I can decorate and be thrifty.  My first project is a subway art poster that I am going to create on a canvas or piece of plywood.  As soon as it arrives, I will upload a picture. 

Bahama Sea Blue

THE desk

My next project has a Short story behind it [my last name is so cool].  I found a desk on craigslist.  Actually, I found several, so I sent a message to each person and waited to hear back and this one won!    My goal is to keep this little project under $50 [which keeps the budget Nazi happy] and I ended up spending only $40 on the desk.  I want to paint it Bahama sea blue [In fact, I think it would be great to take a swatch of paint and a picture of the desk to the Bahamas to see if the blue there actually matches.  Wonder if I can talk Short into that one?].  I have a vision for my living room and for this area. 

My next little project will be to create something on this blank wall. [I started to give Gabe a Sharpie marker but changed my mind at the last minute.]  My hope is either one of two things: a wall quote big enough to fill up the wall or a gallery wall of pictures.  Every time I get on Pinterest I change my mind. I will keep you posted.

My blank canvas

Now there is a good story behind the desk.  I found the desk and then discovered that the man selling it only lived in Gastonia.  My thinking? "Perfect!"  Craig's thinking? "Do you know anything about this man?  What if he kills us?  What if he ties us up and puts us in his basement with dripping water?" [He waits until we are leaving the house to confess that he has many reservations about going to a stranger's house to buy a desk.]  "Well I emailed the man several times about the desk.  That is all I know about him." His response [and if you know Craig this will not surprise you]?  "Haven't you ever heard of the craigslist killer?  What if this dude wants to kill us?  What are you getting us in to?" 

All the way down there he was very quiet.  He told me he was looking at landmarks and plotting how he was going to escape.  I asked if he was going to help me escape and his response, [again, typical of his sarcasm] "You are on your own.  It will be your fault if we're both bound to a chair, in a basement with one light, and dripping pipes."  Needless to say, [and much to Craig's relief] the seller was the very nice wife of the man I had corresponded with and the purchase was made without duct tape, knives, or drippy basements.  [I love it when I am right.] 

The first day of 2012 started off with a great service at FBC-KM about God's plan (Jeremiah 29:11), purpose (Ephesians 2:10), and promise (Romans 8:28) for our lives.  We spend the afternoon just hanging at the house, resting, and laughing.  Not a bad way to start off a new year :)

As always, life as a Short is fantastic!
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