Unconditional(ly)

I am not sure why I allow things to bother me so very much.  Many times the things that bother me are way beyond my control and just not worth the ounce of thought [as in an intervention is needed].  

This [follow this link] is one of those things.

According to Merriam-Webster's dictionary unconditional means not limited in any way; complete and absolute.

So many times doing something unconditionally [like loving someone, helping someone, working, etc.] means we [*pointing finger directly at my own self*] must look past our own motives, desires, and selfishness.

We accept people for who they are and not for who we would like [or choose] for them to be.  For relationships to happen, people [*still pointing at me'self] must be willing to put aside petty issues and see each other as people who are not perfect. 

Molly said it so eloquently last week in her Upwards testimony...we must be Jesus.

I am speaking completely honestly [as I try to do here] in saying that I know I haven't done that in this situation. 
I've prayed about it. 
I've written in my journal about it.  
I've talked to Craig about it.

But, I haven't just been Jesus.  

I haven't tried looking past my own hurt feelings. 

I've had a lot of time to think about things [February's been a rather sloooooowww month for me].  

[Stay with me...this is going to connect...eventually.]  Last night I painted a vase.  I've recently become very interested obsessed with chalk paint and refinishing furniture to make it look antiqued or worn.  I bought some vases at Goodwill for about $5 total and I worked on worn for several days.  [Side note: I am not extremely crafty.  I usually mess up and definitely make a mess. I'm learning.]  

I snapped a picture [because doesn't EVERY single detail of our lives have to be pictured, cataloged, Intsagramed, Facebooked, and end up in cyberspace FOREVER and EVER??] to share on social media. 

As I looked at the vase, sitting up on my mantel, it made me think of myself

• flaws [Lord knows I have too many to name in all areas of my life...]
• stained
• refinished
• changed
• meant for something different [Not of this world.]
• a greater purpose [God is revealing so many things to me.]
• scarred [Not just physical, like the recent surgery, put allowing my past stupidity to define me sometimes.]
• distressed [Stress is always there no matter what word you use.]
• something new 

I am not perfect.

I make lots of mistakes [on the daily].

But, just like the vase, I am a work in progress.  I've made mistakes but those mistakes don't define me.  

I cannot make others like me and that is OK. 

I cannot make others see my point of view and that is OK.

Honestly speaking, I am not going to give another thought to those who have consumed so much of my time the last few months.

As I learned in church this morning, I need to be work on pouring myself into God's word so I can pour myself into doing God's work.  I cannot do that if I am wasting [and I honestly do mean wasting] time worrying about this situation, talking about this situation, getting caught up in this situation.  

Most of all, this is taking time away that I can be Jesus.

Thank you God for reality checks.

To Be Content

One of my favorite verses from the Bible is Phillipians 4:13 ~ I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  This morning as I started my new devotional [from my favorite coach ♥] I had the opportunity to read some more in Phillipians.  I noticed that at some point I'd made some notes about being content in everything.  Phillipians 4:12 says this: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or living in want.  WOW....thank you God for always finding my toes and stepping firmly on them.  I so needed to read that this morning.

In the spirit of ringing in the new year with resolutions [I'll get to that in the more sarcastic part of today's blog] I want to be find true contentment in every situation.  I have focused alot these past couple of months on trying very hard not to complain [I said I tried and am continuing to try] and worry about petty things.  I have truly been much happier ~ honestly.  I think this has been most evident in my job.  Yes, I have complained about petty things ~ I am not going to lie ~ yet I have tried very hard to keep it to myself.  I love working there and being around the kids.  I love teaching and being a dork in front of them [which comes very naturally].  I enjoy the time spent with colleagues and laughing with my friends.  I think it's always been easy to find contentment at home because our house is so filled with laughter how could anyone not be happy?  Actually, if I am telling the truth, contentment found me....it was always there just hanging in the background, waiting for me to say, "Hello! Come join me!"

I believe a lot of learning to be content comes from figuring out it ain't about us.  I've noticed that a lot of people these days are all about themselves [and I quote 'cause I sure didn't say this], "I don't care about you....Imma do me."  As if you could be someone else.  ME ME ME ME ME ME....blah, blah, blah.  It's not about me or you.  Being content isn't about not caring for others or having it all or showing off your wealth [or in alot of cases, your debt].  It is about looking upward and knowing that in EVERY circumstance, God takes care of us and deserves way more than we'll ever give him.  I know that this is an area I need to work on more and more so that is a resolution for the new year.

Speaking of resolutions....hmmmmmm......let's see....It is about time for all of those TV shows and people on Facebook to give us their resolutions for 2012.  Want to hear mine? [Thought you'd never ask.]  These are in no particular order [other than the one in my head].
1. Lose weight and get back in shape. [Of course for this one to actually work I must actually start it on January 1 and continue it through January 2, 3, 4, etc.  I believe last January my record was an hour or so into the new year.]
2. Train to do more than one triathlon this year. [This one might be the easiest and the hardest at the same time.  Time is such a factor in a family of 6.  See....I'm already making excuses.]
3. Finish the Cooper River Bridge Run in an hour or less. [Stop laughing.]
4. Join a book club.  [I kinda already belong to one on Facebook but right now I don't have a book to read so it's hard to converse about the books.]
5. Lead a women's Bible study. [I am doing that at the moment but I would like to do one at church.]
6. Eat sushi.  [I don't eat anything that swims in water.]
7. Blog every day. I am going to try, starting January 1, to post 100 blogs in 100 days. [I also want to include more pics ~ I only have thousands on my computer.]
8. Give up drinking diet Sundrop. [This one, by far, trumps all of those above in the hardest to accomplish category.  Addiction is a tough thing. I have to, before my insides turn to stone and my kidneys explode.]
9. Craft, craft, craft. [I am also addicted to craft blogs.  Funny thing I've figured out about them though ~ the majority of the ones I've found are written by Mormon women.  How do I know they are Mormon?  Many of them have subtle references or graphics on their sites with LDS or "the temple". I just found that very bizarre.  In fact, last night, I googled the question, "Why are so many craft blogs written by Mormons?" and I got some interesting answers.  I usually just search on the sites for craft tutorials so it makes no difference to me.  I just thought that was, well, interesting.]
10. [Just because I hate odd numbered list.] Go letterboxing and geocaching more!!!

I can't wait to see what this new year holds.  I've been so blessed how could life, as a Short, get any better?