Saturday, January 30, 2010

Brown Eyes

Last night we were eating snow cream and watching Twilight at 9:30...then we had hot chocolate. Nothing like snowy evenings, good food, and the kiddos to wash away the worries of the week.

Gabe was in a mood last night. Not sure if he was tired or just ill or what but he was being a real pickle. Craig tried to talk to him and this was the conversation:
Craig: Gabe. What is wrong with you?
Gabe [refusing to look at Craig]: UUHHHHHHHHH!
Craig: Gabriel [Using the whole name = I mean business Mr.] lift your head and look at me when I am speaking to you.

Gabe lifts his head but has his eyes closed.
Craig: Gabe. Why are you acting like this?
Gabe opens his eyes at this point but cuts them to one side, still refusing to look at Craig.
Craig: That is not nice Gabriel. You better look at me or I will spank you.
Gabe finally looks at Craig, but only for a split second.
Craig comes into the kitchen and tells me that the boy is just like me. What??!!! I will give you the stubborn streak he has...I am about as hard headed as they come. But that act of cutting his eyes - that is all Mr. Short!! He is a baby just like Craig, especially when he doesn't get his way. When I told Craig that, he cut his eyes at me and went back into the living room. See - I was right as always!

Molly, Cooper, and I were messing with Emma last night about using the bathroom and eye color. [This all started as we were watching Twilight and were talking about Edward's eye color changing] We told her that when you are full of it your eyes change to the color brown. Once you go, then your eyes turn back to their normal color. Fast forward to the this morning, after breakfast:
Emma: Momma, I forgot to look at my eye color when I used the bathroom but I will remember next time.
That is too funny! She is so dang cute and gullible!! Molly almost peed her pants laughing!

What to do....what to is going to be fun with snow to be played in, food to be eaten, and naps to be had. Snow and is good :)

Missy ♥

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Yesterday, in class, my students worked on some labs. We hang out at school, usually in my room or Craig's classroom, on Wednesdays until church. I had Gabe with me and I was cleaning up the lab stuff when he found the gobbles [goggles for those of you that are slow]. He put them on his face and walked around, telling everyone that would listen that he was wearing gobbles. I wish I'd had a camera. Actually, I did have my camera but I didn't remember I had it until he was way past the gobbles....oh well.

Today, when I picked him up, he had a note in his cubby. It read something like this: Today Gabe tackled another child because the child took his toy. He caused the child to hit his head, which caused a bruise. Also, Gabe needs pull-ups. Thanks, Ms. _______.

Here are a few questions I had when reading this note:
1. Did you put him in time out when he tackled the child?
2. Do I need to avoid this parent at all cost, in the hall, in the parking lot, etc.?
3. How much more random can you be with the pull-ups request?
4. We don't even use the cussed things [pull-ups] at home because he refuses - what makes you so special?

Later, while waiting for Cooper's game, I tried to get to the bottom of the tackling story:
Me: Gabe, did you tackle someone today at nursery.
Gabe: I did not.
Me: You didn't knock someone down because they took your toy?
Gabe: He hitted me so I knocked him down.
Me: That isn't what the note said. The note said you knocked him down because he took your toy. Are you telling me a lie?
Gabe: Yes I am. He hitted me when I knocked him down.
Me: So you knocked him down and then he hit you?
Gabe: Yes, he hitted me when I knocked him down. Can I buy some candy when we go to Coopy's game?
Me: Are you going to tackle your friend again?
Gabe: Yes and then he will hit me.
Me [Thinking to myself: This is really pointless. I could be asking that tree over there the same questions and get the same response. I give up.] So, are you going to be a good boy tomorrow?
Gabe: Yes, ma'am. Can I get a piece of candy now?
Was the problem solved? No. Will he tackle again? Probably. Did he get some candy? Of course. Is he rotten? Ummmmm...yeah!!!

My dad has been shaving his head bald for a while now. For some reason he has decided to let his hair grow out. We haven't seen him since New Year's Eve and tonight, he and my mom came to Cooper's bball game. We were sitting in the stands when Craig, Emma, and Molly arrived. Emma stops, at the bottom of the steps, and yells up to my dad, "Hey Paw Paw! You are growing hair on your head!" He belly was classic!!!! Then, later on, Molly says the same thing, just as loud. I guess it's been a while since they seen hair on his head. Come to think of it, I don't remember him with hair on his head....

My kids are wishing for snow. I am just wishing that someone would pack up my house...but, as is good :)

Missy ♥

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Mommy, You Are My Best Girl

Last night, I was laying in the floor with Gabe tickling and wrestling. I looked at Gabe and told him that he was my best Bubber. His reply, "Mommy, you are my best girl." I was convinced, at that very moment, that there will never, ever be a girl good enough for him :) My heart just melted in a million pieces - how could you not fall in love with him? Later on he and Emma did my ab workout with me. Of course, both of them gave up 5 minutes into the 10 minute video but they tried.
Tonight Cooper had a basketball game at the park. No, I did not hit Gabriel again with the door. He was smart enough to remember that I am not smart enough to avoid hitting him and he stopped about 5 feet shy of the door, waited for me to open it, then went in. During the game, a kid from the other team was taking some foul shots so the gym was quiet. Gabe decided that he would make an observation during this time, just to make sure he was heard. It went something like, "That boy is chubby!" Glad I was at the vending machine at this time - Craig got to deal with the harsh "keep your kid's mouth shut" stares from the other patrons of the game. I can only assume that one of these stares was from the kid's parents. Way to go Gabe - now you're acting like Molly!
I haven't had any success at beating Emma on any of the Wii games. Add to that, the fact that she is learning to master Super Mario brothers and I think this is just an exercise in futility on my part.
Really? She's only five!!!!
Cooper has this VERY annoying habit of making up jokes. Usually we spend the afternoon ride home listening to him tell them and then laugh at himself. I will torture you with several:
  • Why did Tigger jump into the toilet? Looking for Pooh!
  • What do call it when the entry way to your house if famous? A door fame!
  • Why did the nose cross the road? He was tired of getting picked on!

[Insert drum and high hat tap here]

  • Why did the man need a new butt? 'Cause his had a crack in it!
  • What is an igloo's favorite artist? Vanilla Ice
  • What did the potato call his son? A "chip" off the old block!
What is so terribly funny is that we've heard them so much we know all the punchlines...yet it doesn't phase him - he keeps telling them and telling them and telling them....OMG!
Emma is excited about the 100th day of school next week - I am excited because that is an indication of only 80 more days of school left in this year!!! I have had fun with my other children [the ones at school] this year...they are cool. They laugh at my lame jokes [I guess Coop gets it honest] and I laugh with them. [Insert sappy editorial comment here] I really, really, really like my job....I am glad I am a teacher. 8th graders are interesting and make life fun for me every, single day. I am blessed...truly, truly blessed.
My friend Melia continues to make improvements. She had a minor setback yesterday but seems to be doing better today. Please continue to pray for her and for the family of Matt Clary. I forgot to share about Jay Robinson this weekend. He was a student in my 4th and 5th grade classes my first two years back in Cleveland County. At the end of fifth grade he was diagnosed with a brain tumor on the brain stem. He just went for his two year MRI and the tumor continues to shrink. He will be graduating from high school this year. He is an amazing kid!
Lame jokes and is awesome :)
Missy ♥

Monday, January 25, 2010

Girl, Git Outta My Grill!!

Emma told Molly that she had a problem with a little girl at school today. Being the awesome big sister that Molly is, she asked all about the problems that Emma had and this is their conversation:

Emma: Molly, today this girl was talking to me and she was really close to my face.
Molly: What did you do?
Emma: I looked at her and said, " Girl, git outta my grill 'cause you are standing too close!"
Molly: Next time tell her, "Girl, you all up in my grill, cookin' on it so step back!" [or something remotely close to that]
Emma (giggling): Ok sissy!

Prior to this conversation, Molly and Emma shared another sister moment in my classroom. Emma got on one of my tables and danced for us. Molly yells at her and tells her to "shake her booty more" and when Emma doesn't quite comply the way Molly thinks she should then Molly jumps up on the table. "You have to shake your booty like this Emma!" [OMG...Molly has a lot of "junk in her trunk" (I can say that - I am her mother) and it was a little scary watching her dance on the table. So scary that I ordered both of them down, immediately.] So now do I need to worry about Molly taking Emma to Vegas? I'm getting really, really nervous.....

Cooper had math team homework tonight that he wanted help with and he asked ME for help....oh my, he was desperate wasn't he? I taught fifth grade for 10 years but the last year and half of teaching science has wiped out any brain cells left that held fifth grade material. I think we laughed more than we worked but we eventually figured out the problems - let's just hope we got them correct. That would really be embarassing: My mom taught fifth grade for 10 years but she really sucks at helping me with my homework. Really...thanks Mom.

As a teacher, I simply love report card day. [Not really....but it sounded teachery] What I especially love [No sarcasm here - what are you talking about?] is when students ask this question: Why did you give me this grade? Today, I reallly wanted to answer with this:
Hmmmmmmm...let me think carefully before I answer this question so as not to mislead you. Last night, after I drank the blood of a cat and sacrificed a snake over an open flame, I got out the wheel of death. But that seemed too harsh a punishment for you so I decided on the other wheel - the wheel of grades. Upon spinning this wheel, I cast a spell that sounded something like this, "This student is in my class and most of the time he acts like an.....................angel. So wheel I put you to the test - please make his grade the very best!" Unfortunately, I've been meaning to replace the spring on the pin that clicks as you spin the wheel. The dang pin popped out and caused the entire wheel to tilt slightly to the east, thus messing with the alignment of the moon and the west facing mushroom and the wheel of grades. When the wheel finally came to a stop, your grade was a D. Better luck next time!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU ASK ME HOW COULD I GIVE YOU THAT GRADE? YOU EARNED IT!!! it that hard to understand? Yet, inevitably, some kid will ask me this exact question. Babies...I love you but I don't "give" you random grades. I want you to be successful...that's why I am a teacher.
Gabe is going to be a police "ocifer" when he grows up, Emma and Molly can already table dance, Cooper is taller than me, and I am not smarter than a fifth grader.....and life is good :)
Missy ♥

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Stretchmarks and Smiles

Yesterday, as I was getting ready to get dressed and head out for my weekly grocery trip, Emma stops me in the bedroom.
"What are those?", pointing to the stretchmarks on my stomach.
"Well, when you and Molly and Cooper and Gabe were in my belly you stretched it out. All of you made it really big because you moved alot."
Emma stops for a minute then says, "Well they feel gross and look nasty."
"Thanks Emma. I feel so much better about my appearance."
I think, from now on, I will bathe at around 2am when the whole house is asleep.

Today we had lunch with some friends after church. We decided to go to the Gondola, in Shelby, because there is nothing better than bread and cheese and more bread to make one feel overly stuffed and ready for a nap. Everyone was enjoying heavy food and light conversation when Gabriel suddenly screams out "Naaaaaaaaaacccccchhhhhooooooooooo!" This was after the imaginary sword fight with Spiderman (or spidermen, as Gabe calls him) and eating spaghetti with his hands. I quickly shot a look at Cooper, who shot back with, "What? I was just telling Will about Nacho Libre." Well there you go...mention Nacho Libre within earshot of the militant midget and he's sure to spout out a movie quote or something.

We attend the most awesome church on the face of the Earth. Our minister is creative and exciting and on fire for God. Today he shared this video (click on the word and you can watch it) as part of his sermon on praising God through the trials we face in our lives. Very powerful stuff and very inspirational.

As as a Short is good :)


Saturday, January 23, 2010

Potty Training and Pacifiers

So....Gabe is still working on the potty - when he feels like it! *$@(&* He told Craig that if Craig used the potty he would give him a gummy bear but that he [Gabe] would be just fine going in his diaper. I asked him if he wanted me to buy some pull-ups and his reply was, "No...I can just go in my diaper." I know I shouldn't be so hung up on him using it but all of the other children at my house just went [I know, he's the baby and the youngest of four but really?] on their own....he is so stubborn! [Just like his daddy :)]

And the pacifier is KILLING me! He will not give it up [or is it that I just won't take it away? Hmmmmmm....] and he has learned that if he is tired then he can have it. He will get up in the mornings and give it to me then an hour later tell me, "I'm tired. Can I have my pacy?" He is smart - way smarter than me.

I cannot continue to blog without telling one of my favorite stories of all time. [Let me insert disclaimer here: This story is not meant to offend anyone. It's just the life of living with a very curious five year old, in a small house, with doors that don't lock you are really worried aren't you?] Several years ago - 3 1/2 maybe - Craig was home with just Emma. She needed a bath so he decided to give her a quick shower. As they were showering she "pointed" to him and said, "Daddy, you gots a little hot dog!" Needless to say, his shower was over and that was the last time he showered with her. Fast forward to about a month ago...Craig was getting out of the shower so we could go somewhere. Emma was in her room but somehow ended up in the bathroom, where Craig was getting out of the shower [A little foreshadowing for you in the disclaimer above: The bathroom door sort of picks and chooses when it wants to lock.] Emma ran to me, in the kitchen, and loudly proclaimed that her daddy had and enormous "frenious". When I asked her what in the world she was talking about she told me that she saw daddy getting out of the shower...and being the somewhat intelligent person I am, I put two and two together. Soooo....Now Craig not only locks the bathroom door but he also locks the bedroom door. [Some of you will quit reading this blog because you cannot believe that I did not correct my daughter (actually I told her that she needed to stay out of the bathroom when anyone was getting out of the shower) or you'll stop reading it because you cannot believe that I would actually tell that story. To you I say maybe you should live a little more and worry a little less about what others think.]

There are three coach's wives that are expecting babies. The head coach and his wife hosted couples diaper pounding for them last night and we had a blast. Two are new moms for the second or third time and one is a mom for the first time. We laughed when she asked if the baby was going to wear all of those diapers...she's got a lot to learn! The very best part was that I was NOT one of those that is expecting a baby :)
As is good :)
Missy ♥

Thursday, January 21, 2010

I Need Chocolate!

Cooper had a bball game tonight, the girls had to get a haircut, and I was a single parent. Craig had the football banquet [My take on how the banquet should go - "Thanks for coming out tonight folks. This year pretty much sucked. Good night."] so I was on my own tonight. I dropped the girls off at the the salon [My hairdresser is such a doll and I ♥ her dearly!] and dashed across town to take Cooper to the park. As we were pulling into the park Molly called and said Cathy [Awesome hairdresser] offered to bring her and Emma to the park on her way to her own son's bball game. Gabe and I decided to run and get a snack because in the midst of all of this chaos my little Gabe says, "Mommy....I want some chocolate." How could I resist, being a fellow chocolate lover myself? He picked out he biggest bag of M&Ms that he could - I just love him!

As Gabe and I were going in to Cooper's game we were running and talking. Upon getting to the door, I didn't realize he was standing as close to the door as he was...and I pulled the door open and knocked him backwards - about three feet. He landed squarely on his diapered rear and immediately began to wail - I felt so bad. I picked him up, kissed him, and loved his boo boo. When we went out to meet the girls he wouldn't get near the door and said, "Mommy, please don't hurt me with that door again." How pitiful! Poor kid won't be able to enter a door without feeling the pain and trauma of nearly getting brain damage from his mother at age 3. He even told Molly not to hurt him with the door....way to go mom!!

Cooper got to go to the AR treasure box at school today. Of course a simple piece of candy would not suffice - he goes all out. He got a jar of fruity flavored gooey stuff that sounds like one is passing gas when pushed down into the container. When he got in the car after math team he told me that this was the best day of his life because he had, and I quote, "A jar of fruity smelling fart" that he could use. Oh the joys of raising an 11 year old boy. Of course, as soon as we entered the front of the middle school (WHERE I WORK), the principal (THAT I WORK FOR AND GO TO CHURCH WITH) was standing in the front of the office. Of course, my son, pulled the AR prize out of his bag and "let's one rip" for all to hear. I could have killed him...right there...and felt no regret for doing so. He then proceeded to share his new found toy with Molly, who then followed me around the room, "cutting the cheese." And Gabe got in on the fun, and told Molly's 7th grade math teacher that he just farted in the hall. If you are looking for me tomorrow you will find me underneath the nearest rock. [For the record: All four of them act just like CRAIG!]

Getting ready for a diaper pounding tomorrow night for THREE coach's wives that are pregnant. Thank God I drink Diet Sundrop and not the water those women obviously drink :)

Missy ♥

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Beat Again - &$#@*!

Emma: Hey Momma, will you play Uno with me?
Me [Seeing an opportunity to finally beat Emma at a game]: Sure sweetie!
Emma: Ok! You shuffle and I'll deal.
Me [to myself]: I am the Uno queen! I so rock at Uno and besides she's only five
****25 minutes later****
Emma [Holding one stinkin' card after laying down the "Wild/Draw Four"]: UNO!!
Me [Holding so many cards that I have to hold them with two hands]: Shut it....

We're riding back to KM to go to church tonight. Gabe, out of the clear blue, yells "Boobies!" then pulls up his shirt. "Look at my boobies!" he shouts in his three year old voice. Not sure what possessed his next request but then I hear him say, "Mowy [he can't say Molly] you pull up your shirt and let me see your boobies!" Maybe while Emma's dancing and cocktail waitressing in Vegas, Gabe will have a lucrative career on Jerry Springer or on Bourbon Street trying to get the ladies to bare it all...

We left KM to pick Molly up in Shelby and our plan was to stop at Chic Fil A for a free chicken sandwich. I wasn't counting on the fact that EVERY SINGLE person that wasn't incapacitated or dead, living in the vicinity of CFA, would also be stopping in for their free sandwich as well. The entire intersection was blocked, the Wal Mart parking lot was full, and in the parking lot of CFA crazy people were double and triple parked. Are chicken sandwiches really that good? Let me answer that for you - NO! The Shorts decided to ride through McDonald's for $1 menu items and Subway for Craig and me.

On the way to school today Emma said she had a deva ju moment. When I asked her what that meant, she said it was when you feel like you've done something already. Pretty cool for a five year old, even if she said it wrong! :)

Melia is home!!! What an amazing woman! Continue to pray for her recovery.

As is so good :)

Missy ♥

Monday, January 18, 2010

Give me the bemote!!!

Today was a typical, lazy day at the Short house. We woke up early, but not too early, and stayed in our PJs until way past time to change clothes. Craig, Molly, and Emma ventured down to KM to move softball stuff while the boys and I headed to buy groceries for the week.

In the line at the grocery store Gabe "grabs" himself. I told him to stop and then asked him if he had to go to the bathroom. He replies by telling me that he just went in his diaper. So I tell him to stop with the grabbing to which he replies, in the LOUDEST voice he can, "What Mommy? Stop grabbing my dingle?". Suddenly, every elderly person in Cleveland County has planted their eyes firmly on my son. Some of them ping pong back to me, to see if I will react, beat his rear, yell at him, or give him anything in response to his question. [At this point, Cooper has had to turn his head because he is laughing.] "Yes, Gabriel [You always call them by their full name when trying to make a point - my dad taught me well.] please stop grabbing your dingle. That is not very nice." [Cue the elderly, still wondering what a dingle is and why this young man is grabbing his crotch in the grocery store.]

So, thanks to Cooper, Gabe also knows how to really irritate his sister. Cooper will just randomly, with very little warning so that Molly can escape, will pull out a butt cheek and rub it on her leg or something. He thinks this is the funniest thing ever while Molly ususally gags and kicks him. So today, guess who pulls down the diaper and rubs his bare rear on Emma - Yep, you guessed correctly, it was Gabe. In disgust Emma yelled and said, "Gabe!! Keep your raw butt off of me!" He darted out of the living room, pajama pants around his ankles, giggling. Emma looked at me and said, "You know Momma, I'm gonna have to take a bath now." I responded with, "Yes, I know Emma." Really Cooper, let me thank you publically for turning your three year old brother into a nasty, stinky, annoying little brother.

Speaking of Cooper, today I asked him to do one simple task while I was in the shower - clean up the living room. Now that seemed pretty simple to me because I did not insert any of the following into my request:
1. Only clean up YOUR stuff.
2. Only clean up the space in front of each couch and the chair.
3. Please leave something around the perimeter of the room so I can play "I Spy" later with Emma.
After getting ready, I entered the living room to find the center completely void of toys but around the perimeter of the ENTIRE living room laid the folllowing:
Random socks, a hanger, a toy Emma got from the treasure box at school, a gun fashioned out of blocks, a box of wipes, projects from Emma, and a pacifier. the boy is fairly intelligent [gets that from me folks] so I know he understood the directions. So my guess is that there s a force field preventing him from reaching these items. He does not want to interrupt this force field surrounding these items. Or, he needs some serious glasses because these things are not visible to HIS naked eye. Bless his heart! [Editor's note: When I asked him why he didn't pick up these items he simply smiled, laughed, and said, "Cause I didn't want to." I will remember that when it comes time for allowance this week.]

Melia continues to make improvements at Duke. Please continue to pray for her and for her family. She is one tough cookie and she's determined - which should inspire us all.

As is good :)
♥ Missy

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Funnel Cakes

Tonight I was THE master chef...we had stir fry chicken (my own personal recipe), fried rice, Szechuan veggies, Lo Mein, AND egg rolls (frozen - can't take credit). Forget the Chinese buffett - we got it goin' on at the Short house.

Earlier today, for some reason, Coop was talking about funnel cakes. So I decided to make funnel cakes after the Chinese buffett. They were really good and Emma especially liked them.
Emma: Momma these are really good! What are funnel cakes made out from?
Craig: Funnels.
Emma: Well the funnels that made these cakes are good!

Coop and Gabe decided they wanted to wrestle in the living room. This is the conversation I overheard:
Gabe: I'll take you down you woser!
Coop: You're a midget! You can't beat me!
Gabe: I'm not a midget. You're a woser and I'll get you little boy.
Coop: Bring it on...
Gabe: No, you bring it on woser!

Still not much success on the potty training front. Like tonight, while getting ready to wrestle, Emma says to Gabe, "Ewww Gabe! You pooped!" Gabe's response, "Thanks Emma!" He is just not interested at all....I guess we'll keep trying (or I'll go crazy)!

Gabe and Emma like to pretend like they are wrestlers being called to the ring by Craig. He's the arena announcer. Tonight this was Gabe's entrance: Weighing in at 34 pounds, the Diaper Dandy, the King of Poop, Gabe the Annihilator!! Emma got this one: Weighing in at 50 pounds, the Queen of Mean, the Diva of Mismatched Pajamas, Emma "The Evil"Short!!! And Cooper had to join in the fun: Weighing in at one metric ton, smelling of cheese and feet, the only man to ever eat a poopie diaper and live to tell about it, Cooper "The Annoying" Short!! [I will say that I did take some creative license with the announcements since I have the memory span of a gnat and I forget exactly how Craig worded the entrances but you get the picture.]

Gabe has this fascination with Michael Jackson. When he died this past summer, Molly and Cooper started listening to his music a lot so Gabe practially knows every song. He'll ask, "Can I hear Billie Jeans?" He also knows a few MJ moves...not quite big enough to do the moon walk but he does a mean Thriller zombie. Maybe I'll get him a sequined glove, some highwaters, and white socks and see where it gets him. "But the kid is not my son."

I have manged to be SUPER lazy today...and it's been awesome :)

♥ Missy

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Movies, Mall, and Mannequins

Last night was a girl's night out. First, we met Stacy and went to the movies to the see "The Lovely Bones". [Slight pause for editorial comment: If you've ever read the book then you may be disappointed in the movie. The books spends so much time on relationships that develop, that are strained, that are destroyed, and that find a way to survive and the movie did not focus on this. I did not think the movie was nearly as good as the book - I guess they never are.] Then we ventured into the mall to eat at Chic Fil A. For some reason, they gave us the child (and adult proof) honey mustards - none of us could get them open! We decided to cruise the mall...well, the 14 year old girls cruised the mall - they sorta ditched me :( We met back up at the Shoe Dept. where we tried on stilletos and "worked" the runway...then played volleyball (until we got a stern look from Mr. Manager). The girls decided they wanted to walk through Belk. They also decided that while in Belk they would assault as many mannequins as possbile - I am surprised we weren't asked to leave! I really, really had a fabulous time!!

Melia continues to make slow and painful improvements. According to her site, she will be moved to a regular room today. Please continue to pray for her and for her family - she, her husband, and mom are all at Duke while the two children are here.

So glad to have the next several days off - even though I am working, probably all three days, there won't be any students and I can get caught up. I am working on a totally cool unit about forensic science and I just need some time to get organized. Wooo hoooo!!

Right now, the Short children have worn me out..I'm getting ready to go watch the back of my eyelids for a little....

♥ Missy

Thursday, January 14, 2010


I am reminded this week just how fragile life can be. Matt Clary, a courageous young man, lost his battle with the evil dragon named Cancer on Tuesday. I cannot even begin to imagine the heartache of his family. His mother, who gave birth to him and nurtured him...his father, who taught him to hold a bat and how to treat a girl...his sister, who grew up under his protection - how do you bury a child? My heart truly aches for this family.

A good friend, Melia Greene, had to have aortic valve replacement today - she is my age. Her son is just a year younger than my Cooper and her daughter is just a little older than Gabriel. The updates came periodically today on her Caringbridge page and each one painted a picture of a family, waiting anxiously and praying faithfully for her. She spent the entire day in surgery and tonight, she is out and in recovery. Again, my heart aches for this family...I cannot imagine being far away from home, with small children, and going through so much.

I look at my own life, right now at this moment, and I've got it made. I am looking at Craig, holding Gabe on his lap and Emma in his arms, while they watch Uncle Buck on TV. Cooper still kisses me and gives me a hug every day. Molly still likes to hang out with me [We having a girls night tomorrow night ♥] and tells me anything and everything. Yes...I get upset when Gabe won't use the potty [or uses it in the floor] or when Emma says, "Momma" for the 984th time in 10 minutes. No...we don't have enough money to buy a house or a car big enough for our family nor do we have money to take lavish vacations to Disney World [or even Myrtle Beach]. But we are healthy and we are together and we are all madly in love.

I am so thankful for all of the blessings [none of which I deserve for any reason whatsoever] that God has bestowed upon me. I am thankful for the four wet kisses and hugs I get every morning as I am frantically leaving the house. I am thankful for Emma being able to kick my tail on the Wii and those times when Gabe wants me to play "mans" with him. I am thankful that I got to watch Cooper play basketball tonight at the park [And I love watching him run, with his tongue hanging out]. I am thankful that Molly and I can talk about reading "The Lovely Bones" and act silly singing in the car - all in the same day. I am thankful that Craig still sends me love notes via email [like today], for no particular reason, except that he loves me ♥. I am thankful for the children I teach, that make me laugh [even when they are calling me name] and for all of the children I have taught, that have made me the teacher I am today. I am thankful for my parents, who taught me to never, ever settle for less than what I could do [then try even harder to do better] and for the beautiful sister that God made my best friend. I am thankful for every single friend I've met along the way - classmates, college roommates, co-workers, parents, and teammates.

As is good:)

♥ Missy

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Well....Emma's streak of staying on green ended today. I could tell as she was climbing the steps at the bus stop that something was not quite right. Molly and I were sitting in the car, waiting for Emma, and even Molly noticed the downtrodden face. This is what happened:
When she opened the door to get in I asked, " was your day?", to which she replied, "Not good." [She had to turn her behavior card to yellow.]
So I questioned her, "Well, what did you do to turn your card on yellow?" and she burst into tears, "I don't know!"
I opened her folder to find out: TALKING.
"Were you talking when Mrs. H asked you not to talk?"
"I didn't know she said not to talk because I didn't hear her!" [Still crying.]
"You didn't hear her because you were talking. Right?"
Well problem solved - don't talk and you won't miss the fact that you aren't supposed to talk. Ahhhh...the life and times of a headstrong 5 year old Diva!!

Tonight, while exercising, Gabe comes running into the living room, chocolate covering his mouth. "Mommy! I spilled chocolate on my blanket!" I ran into the kitchen to find the refrigerator AND the chocolate syrup both wide open. A small puddle of chocolate was also next to the bottle, as well as the chocolate covered blanket. "I just wanted to eat some chocolate Mommy." If the boy gets quiet, even for a split second, you better go look for him.

Ready for the weekend already! As is good :)

♥ Missy

Monday, January 11, 2010


What a crazy, crazy Monday!!! I get Emma Katherine off the bus and we go through the typical pleasantries: How was your day? Did you stay on green? (usually she fesses up if she didn't as soon as she sees me but I ask anyway) How was your lunch? And on Mondays, I ask her about the letter of the week. "It's B this week! And I am so going to take my B...B...B...Barbie book if I can F..F...F..find it!" I guess you had to be there but it was classic Emma. Made me laugh and I really needed a laugh at 3:20 this afternoon.

Revert back to last night, as the Shorts are settling down to go to sleep @ 9:30 (which was a miracle for all of us to go to bed, that early, and all at the same time) and Molly comes in with Gabe.
Molly: "Gabe, tell them what you said." (That can't be good can it?)
Me: "Gabe, what did you say?"
Gabe: ( holding Molly's phone with head down) " I said Dammit."
At this point, Cooper is laying in the kitchen floor, laughing hysterically into his shirt, I am having to turn my head, Molly has left the room because she is laughing, Emma just laughs in front of Gabe, and Craig doesn't know what to say.
Craig: "Gabe, that isn't nice. We don't say that." (Then gives me a stern look because A) I shouldn't be laughing and B) Gabe probably heard me use that word.)
Gabe: "I know. I'm sorry."
Go ahead and frown but all of you know that at some point, you've let a word or two fly in front of your kids.....I'm not alone.

Emma Katherine got a library card today and you would've thought she won the lottery...she was so excited. She even used it to check out 4 books. It made my heart smile to so her so very enthusiastic about reading and learning. We spent about 30 minutes reading books at the library, reading, then she spent 20 more finding the perfect books....made my Monday woes not so bad after all.

I cook every night unless we are just going to be way too busy. There is a reason why....if my family eats, even at a fast food restaurant, it cost us a mint. For example, last Thursday Emma got a free kids meal coupon for family reading night for Chic-Fil-A. She called, sweet talked her daddy, and he took us all out for dinner (plus Cooper had his first bball game so it was going to be a late night). It costs us $33 to eat at freakin' fast food!! That is outrageous! When you have a family of 6, with two teenagers, if you don't choose a joint with a dollar menu then you are screwed. $33 for fries and chicken nuggets...what were we thinking? My grocery bill, on a WEEKLY basis, is between $130 and $150. That boils down to roughly $18 - $21 a day for food for a family of 6. If we ate out, just three nights a week, that would be half of our grocery bill. And that isn't even eating good food...that's fast food. One night, about a year ago, I nearly had a heart attack in the drive through at the BK lounge. It was a late, football night, so we decided to eat on the way home. Molly chose BK and $42 later I was sick. I asked the lady at the drive through, TWICE, to repeat the total to me. What made it even worse was the next day, at lunch, one of my co-workers said he'd eaten at Outback, with his wife, and they only spent $50! I could've had a bloomin' onion AND real fries for the money I paid at BK!!! How do people, families, afford to eat out every stinkin' night? My kids think it's a real treat to go to Chic-Fil-A...I guess that's a good thing...

On a serious note, asking for prayers for a precious young man who lost his battle with cancer today. His name is Matt Clary and he was 24. Craig had the pleasure of teaching him during his brief stint at Crest High School and he was an outstanding person. If you get a minute, stop and say a prayer for his family as they struggle and will have to adjust to a new life without Matt. You can even go to his website, Matt Clary, and leave them a message. Hug your children and thank God for every moment He gives us with them for we never know when any of us will be called home.

As always...even on is good :)

♥ Missy

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Going to the potty is....

Unfortunately, getting Gabe to use the potty didn't last too long. He had two accidents today so we gave in and put a diaper on him. Turns out, he's not feeling too good (suspected sinus infection) so I'm thinking he just wasn't up for potty training today. We'll try again when he's feeling better.

It was funny when he had one accident. I was straightening out Emma's dresser while she played the Wii (something wrong with that isn't there?) and she yells, loudly, "Momma!!! Gabe just peed in the floor!" like he's a puppy we're training or something. Did she want me to rub his nose in it and send him outside or what? Bless him - the first thing he says to me is "Mommy, I'm sorry." How could I argue with that?

Later on, when he woke up from a nap, he sat beside me on the couch. We talked about going to the circus. Paw Paw told Emma he would take her to the circus (She went last year and loved it - probably because she lives in a circus here. Clowns scare me - no Ringling Bros for me.). Paw Paw also said he would take Gabe - as long as he is potty trained. As Gabe and I were talking about this I reminded him what Paw Paw said about using the potty. He looked at me and just as serious as he could be he told me that going to the potty was just boring. He didn't like going because it was too boring - nothing to do in there. Hmmmmmmm......any suggestions on that one?

Fairly uneventful day at the Short house. We discovered that Emma had about 659 socks with zero matches and that she still had size 2T/3T undies in her dresser - she's almost 6 so I think we can part with those now can't we? Emma and I ventured to the grocery store - so much fun and then home for a little cleaning - no so much fun. The older two have been with friends since last night...they are learning to visit other, "normal" families as much as possible.

As is grand :)

♥ Missy

Friday, January 8, 2010

Gummy Bears and Sour Worms

OK...we had a breakthrough tonight on the potty training front. Gabe had a smelly diaper (Actually, it was as if he's eaten a dead carcass but I'm not complaining) and we were out of diapers. I went to the store to get some but told Craig to put some underwear on the baby.'s been about 3 hours and so far so good....

I decided to resort to bribery so I bought some gummy bears and sour worms at the grocery store. Upon returning home, I explained to Gabe (if you can explain anything to a 3 year old) that each time he goes to the potty he'll get a gummy. He immediately went to the potty...and called for me. I find him, standing ready to go and he looks at me, "Mommy, I cannot push the pee pee out." At least he was in the bathroom, trying...that's a good thing!!!

Later, he and Emma were playing their nightly game of smack the booty. Emma decided she was hot so she went and found some shorts and a tshirt. Then she decided that she was sexy so she walked around in the living room, rubbing her belly and shaking her hips yelling "I am so sexy!!!". Of course Gabe, not to be out done, ran around too, shouting "I am so sexy!!!" in his tshirt, Transformers undies, and socks. I wish these kids acted more like me and not so much like their daddy (or is it the other way around...hmmmmmm).

During this exchange of shouts of being sexy, Emma decides she will do something mean to Gabe. She walks up behind him, grabs his underwear at the top, and yes, gives the boy a wedgie. He didn't know what to do - poor kid's never worn underwear in his life and now his sister has decided to torture him with them. His little cheeks were hanging out, on both sides, and he was doing the "I-don't-have-a-clue-how-to-fix-this" dance in the living room. Meanwhile, Emma is bent over, double laughing and Craig has almost peed his pants. Maybe if Short and I ever corrected them they wouldn't act this way - but that wouldn't be any fun would it??

Incidentally, before any of this happened, Gabe had some exciting news for Molly. He ran to her, in the living room, with his tiny hand neatly tucked inside that opening in the front of boy's underwear. With much happiness he shouted, "Wook Molly! My underwear has a pocket!!!"

Life doesn't get any better than this :)

♥ Missy

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Yes Ma'am

First of all, I spent the afternoon reading with Flossie (for those of you new to the Short family, Flossie is Emma - quite appropriate don't you think?) at her school's family reading night. What fun!! We picked a book, 17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore, and we had a ball. Of course, I'm afraid that it gave Floss some ideas - like gluing Gabe's feet to floor and stapling his head to the pillow...nothing really suprises me anymore!!!

Turns out her $60000 nasal mist works good - I'll have to mortgage my house and sell my first born to pay for it but as long as Emma can breathe then I guess it's worth it....

Tonight, Coop had his first basketball game at the park. He just signed up yesterday and they started playing tonight. Cooper had a leg up on everyone though because when he got up this morning he says to me, "Mom, I lost a tooth in the middle of the night" and I answered, "Well, was it in your bed this morning?". His reply, "No, I think I swallowed it." So those boys out there just don't know how tough those Short boys are - they eat teeth for supper!!!! He played well and only had two fouls (he forgot, momentarily, that he was playing basketball and not football).

As we are leaving, Craig puts Gabe in the car and ask him the following question, "Gabe, what are you going to do with that gum in your mouth when you are done with it?", to which Gabe replies, "Throw it out. [I am watching this entire verbal exchange and as Craig ask him, before he ever replies, Gabe swallows the gum.] I tell Craig, "He just swallowed the gum" and Craig says "Gabe, you told me a lie. You aren't supposed to tell Daddy lies", and Gabe, with that slinky smile on his face, says "Yes ma'am." Again, hee hawing laughter is released and I nearly pee on myself. What could Craig do but get into the car?

Is it sad that I am out for Emma with regards to Wii Fit Plus? She plays it so much that she is in the number one place on almost every single game. So tonight, I'm gunning for her....I'm out for blood. I start with one of my favorite games, Kung Fu Rhythm. Of course, sister hops out of the shower just in time to critique EVERY move I make! And, as luck would have it, she's still number one, on every game. A little friendly competition is good but she's only 5 - *$^&@*! Not to mention, the entire time I'm playing she's giving me friendly tips or commenting or better yet, laughing, HYSTERICALLY at me. Watch out Emma - yo momma is ready to kick your fanny? [Pipe in laughter from Emma]

Ready for the weekend...and ready for it to get just a little it too much to ask to see 45? I don't think so! I mean, GEEZ, I slept in the Snuggie the other night (along with other clothes - please people!)

♥ Missy

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Smack the Booty

Tonight Gabe decided that he really liked hanging on to my leg. He held my ankle and I pulled him around the kitchen and down the hall. He kept saying "Pull me again Mommy!" so I obliged him. How sad are we for entertainment at the Short house that pulling a three year old around, attached to my ankle, makes everyone laugh? Of course, Emma Katherine could not miss out on all the fun so she latches on to the other leg. One little problem pants came unsnapped and know the rest. Unfortunately for Cooper, he was lucky enough to see my pants drop and land on the two rugrats attached to my ankles. He may never, ever be the same. Of course, this made Emma and Gabe jump up as if they'd both been awarded a gold medal in ankle holding, and proceed to smack the booty before them. Never, ever a dull moment! Poor Cooper...and sorry if you are a visual person.

Ran, in the cold, again tonight. I was actually sweating at one point...and it felt so good. Of course, then Short shares with me that he saw on the news that anyone that has a waist more than half of their own height is severely obsese. *&^%$#$&*( is all I have to say about Dr. Oz and his waist-height little tidbit today...why do I let Short talk me into these things? Needless to say I will bust out a bazillion crunches, obliques, and bicycles or I'll buy a new tape measure - but I will not be considered severly obese. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Dr. Oz (he probably doesn't smoke does he?)

No need to slay the strep throat dragon as he is hiding at the moment. However, Emma's sinuses are completely swollen shut and she has "allergy shiners" (bruised under eye areas due to sinus issues). Now she gets to snort $60000 nasal spray and take an antibiotic for a month...did I tell you how she hates medicine? Joy, joy, joy. Hopefully this will help otherwise we're looking at removing adenoids and tonsils over the summer.

Very glad tomorrow is Thursday...great TV night with the National Championship and The Office. Hope my feet thaw out at some point - my piggies are cold.

♥ Missy

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Big Boy Undies and Nacho Libre - Huh?!

Soooo....we are working on getting the Gabe potty trained - and it ain't easy!! Today I asked him if he wanted to go to the potty. His answer, "I cannot". When asked why he cannot go to the potty his reply was "Because I cannot Mommy". Well I guess you can't argue with a man that knows his limits now can you? Still, very frustrating because he we need to be rid of diapers - they are yucky and stinky and very inconvenient. But until his answer is "I can" then we'll keep his fanny diapered won't we?

Tonight, at dinner, I asked Gabe to say the blessing. He answered with random noises that sounded much like a muffled horn. Craig asked Molly to take up his slack and say the blessing, which she gladly obliged. Only, towards the end of her blessing, Gabe's muffled horn sounded again. I am supposed to be the adult in the house, admonishing him for being disrespectful but I died laughing. As in uncontrollable, had to hide my face in my shirt, hee hawing at the table. It was chain reaction - Molly to Cooper to Emma and even Short cracked a smile. Of course, Gabe just thought this was hilarious and laughed even harder. He then spent the next 20 minutes, alternating his attention between the peanut butter and jelly "taco" he was eating and spouting quotes from his new favorite movie Nacho Libre. He's only 3 - what will it be like when he's 10?

Our evening came to a close with an exhibition of dancing by Emma Katherine. I am seriously thinking she's headed for the big stage - now whether or not that big stage is on Broadway or contains poles, smokey darkness, and a big guy named Lou remains to be seen....

We head to the ENT tomorrow to see if we can finally beat this ugly monster named Strep Throat. At least I get to sleep a little later than the rest of the Short theory anyway.

♥ Missy

Monday, January 4, 2010

Momma...You Got a Big Fanny!!

So...everyone keeps saying, "You should blog or write a column". Not sure either one of those is true but I'll give it a shot - blogging that is.

I ran tonight (dropping head in embarassment) for the first time in two weeks. I could kick myself because if I would just make it a priority instead of, let's say, FACEBOOK or DOING ZIP then I would be so much further along...So I make it a priority and keep it up. The Cooper River Bridge Run looms large so I better commit to something or else it's going to be UGLY!!

I just get so frustrated, which is common with any kind of exercise, that I just don't have the time I want to devote to it. I love running (some of you are shocked I know, especially if you saw me recently in the Jingle Bell Run) but I really do. It is like therapy (I won't go there...). I can sort of run, and think, and think, and run. The stress is gone while I'm out there. I just crank up the iPod (Thanks to the Ting Tings, Journey, the Eagles, Tom Petty, and many, many more) and I go. I would say, "Fly like the wind" but that is stretching it more than a tad. I will keep running - I promise.

Where does the name of my blog come from? One day, while trying to pick up my Gabe, he responded with, "Step away chubby!" What a fitting name for my blog.

Missy ♥