We Heart the Coach

There is a band I like to listen to on Youtube [Yes, I am pretty cool and use Youtube] named 7Eventh Time Down.  They sing one über cool song titled Rusty Nails. Tonight I found this one...this is just the beginning of the song:

Just Say Jesus

Life gets tough and times get hard

And it's hard to fine the truth in all the lies

If you're tired of wondering why you're heart isn't healing

And nothing feels like home cause you're lost and alone

Just screaming at the sky 

When you don't know what to say

Just say Jesus
There is power in the name
The name of Jesus
If the words won't come cause you're too afraid to pray
Just say Jesus

Its no secret [least it ain't anymore] that if you want to see 7 different kinds of crazy then mess with my family. I do not hide anything [maybe I should...] about how fierce I am over them and with good reasons: God blessed me and has gave me the responsibility of doing this mommy and wife thing and I do not want to disappoint Him.  I will not, EVER, apologize for watching over them. And with that responsibility given to me, I am supposed to guide them spiritually, through the good times and the not so good times.  

I failed at that tonight.  

I was not a good role model.

I am angry. [HULK get angry!!] My anger was apparent tonight.

More than anything, and I mean ANYTHING, right now, my heart is broken for my sweet husband.  

It's not anything tragic.  

Tragedy is the devastation in tornado ravaged areas.

Tragedy is a ferry full of innocent people, plummeting to the deep ocean.

Tragedy is a student, so full of rage and discouragement at a rejection to the prom, that he kills an innocent girl.

Softball drama isn't tragic.  It's really pathetic actually.  Downright useless. [As Short would say, about as useless as rooster crap on a pump handle. #word]

So why am I mad?  Why does my heart hurt so bad for that favorite coach of mine?   

Let me tell you a few things that not a lot of people know about the man...

He cries at stories on E60, 30 for 30, sometimes commercials, and EVERY TIME he talks about his daddy. 

He reads his Bible every morning.

He is not ticklish. [And that drives my kids crazy. And me too.]

He grew up in a house full of women [the only boy..the baby boy....a momma's boy] so he can wash, clean, make gravy, and iron better than me.

His heart breaks for players that don't use their potential and God-given talents. My oldest two NEVER get to make excuses when it comes to sports because he has taught them, Luke 12:28 "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." 

He has a buddy from SC and he will tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that was given to him by divine intervention.  [And trust me, the bromance is evident.]  They are the best of friends.

He loves to dance. [And he's actually pretty good at it.]

He hung the moon. [Well, not really, but my mom told me one time I act like he did.]

He kisses his 6 foot 15 year old son and let's his 7 year old fall asleep on him on a nightly basis.

He makes "Dad's Lasagna" when I am out of town.

He loves cookies, chocolate, Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi, and sitting in his recliner. [Sometimes at the expense of others.]

He never, ever leaves me behind. My first try at the Cooper River Bridge he stayed right there, encouraging me to keep on going [and trust me, I did NOT want to keep on going] even though he could have probably finished 30 minutes better.

He wants his softball team to have nice uniforms and the best equipment but more than that, he wants to push them to be successful young women of character.

He hates moral victories, tomatoes, and the Buffalo Bills.

He loves Jesus.

He grew up without a father and after his grandfather died, he had to learn to be the man of the house.  God is good...all the time...and sent some amazing male role models to help guide him.  He came out, on the other side, better for what happened in his life.  Which makes him more determined to be a Godly, loving, father and husband.

These are the things that break my heart for him.  There are some people that are on a witch hunt because he refuses to cower down to petty demands and accusations yet they have NO clue who he is as man.  He doesn't deserve this at all.

I've watched him wring his hands and lose sleep over disparaging comments because he coaches with passion and he doesn't like losing. [I mean, who does really?]  I've watched, in complete disgust, as parents [and one very crotchety and mean old grandfather] yell hateful remarks at him in front of our children, opposing teams, and in front of the entire stands.  I've read the text messages from the parents that were angry because their daughter was left behind because she was late for the bus on game day. [Does anyone else out there see how her being late because she was hanging out with her boyfriend the fault of a coach? Me neither.]  

He is a grown man.  He can take up for himself. He certainly does not need my sentiments, flowery words, or defense of his actions.  He isn't a coward but he is gracious and will give someone the benefit of the doubt...sometimes at his own expense.

But I need to know that this is all going to be OK.

I need to not feel so angry in the pit of my stomach over these people that, quite frankly, are part of that "entitlement" crowd I speak of so much.

More than all of that, I am desperately trying to understand why parents cannot simply allow the coach to coach without turning constructive criticism into an all out war against a person's character.

When did high school sports become the breeding ground for the "Imma Get Mine" parents? [Which, by the way, suck the life out of everyone they come in contact with and really, honestly, just suck in general.]

So, in my quest, tonight [today] to get rid of all of this anger I simply say...

Just Jesus.  Help me find the truth in all the lies and keep on plugging.  Help me be the mom and the wife you would have me to be.  Take away this anger that I have for these people that just want to tear down my husband.  Allow my daughter to continue to be a strong leader on and off the field. Help those players and parents that have the team interest at heart to continue to be bold in strength.  Most of all, mend his heart that is losing faith in coaching altogether.

Come Sail Away

Awww shucks...I love comments on my blog.  Not that I write for anyone but me...it is a way I relieve stress and get stuff out of my head. [Not that anyone cares, at all, what I think.  That is the beauty of it...you can click and go elsewhere.]  

**NEWSFLASH**

I am not always correct. 

I don't always say things the right way. 

My opinion really doesn't matter to anyone but me. 

Today, someone left a comment here on my blog [and I did say that I do heart comments] and it said:

"You sicken me.  You should be ashamed."  

I don't care.  

**I JUST FOUND THIS FOR MY NOT SO ANONYMOUS FRIEND**

I certainly am not writing this to offend anyone but if it does then so be it.  I get offended at things too.  I also realize that free speech is a right, protected under the first amendment.   Just be big enough to post your name with your comment. [Or don't...] We can agree to disagree.

On to more pressing news....

My mom took me shopping yesterday.  My mom is awesome. [Not just because she took me shopping either.]  We had so much fun.  I love my mother. She is an amazing woman with a heart bigger than Texas.  

She told me she watched Catching Fire but didn't like the way it ended at all.  

My mom is more awesomer than your mom. [I know. Awesomer isn't a word. Sue me.]

This morning I heard Styx' Come Sail Away and I was mesmerized. [Not really because I was driving and that would be super stupid.] That song and the fact that I watched the end of Shawshank Redemption yesterday make me want to jump into a Jimmy Buffett song forever.  

Seriously, what would it be like to live in the islands?  My small excursion to the beach made me want to actually pitch a tent right on the water, live off the land and out of the sea [except I really despise seafood], and smell like suntan lotion every day. 

I want to go where the waters are crystal blue and you can see clear to the bottom. 

I want to watch the sunset, EVERY NIGHT, right over the ocean.  

I want sand between my toes...forever. [Well, I mean, I will take a shower but you get what I mean. I hope...]

Craig and I decided that we would LOVE to move to the beach in a few years [when we get several more Shorties out of school.  Yes we have several more to go.]  Maybe one day....

Until then, I will sing Come Sail Away and Changes in Latitude [but only to myself because we all know I can't sing] and be happy in the little house full of laughter and fun.

As always, life as a Short couldn't be any better.

Hooker Makeup, A Line in the Sand, and Other Fairly Odd Observations

I found some eye shadow under the sink in my bathroom.  I am thinking my mom gave it to me when she was cleaning out her bathroom. [That or Craig's got some explaining to do about a girlfriend...]  I had to use it yesterday because mine broke and had to be thrown in the trash. I didn't pay much attention to the writing inside the case until the second or third time I used it.  

It is hooker makeup. [Not really.  Or maybe it is.  I don't know.]

The eye shadow colors have names like....

Stilleto

Lap Dance

Pink Cheeks

Satin Sheets

It made laugh thinking about who named these colors. Who looks at eye shadow and says, "Hey! That color reminds me of a lap dance"?  

[I haven't asked Craig about the girlfriend thing yet so I am hoping it came from my mom....which sorta creeps me out even more....]

I am thinking of selling my kidney.  [I suppose I could sell just a kid but I think that is frowned upon in our country.]  Prices of groceries are killing us.  We spend a small fortune [and that is no exaggeration] every single month.  I mean, even the stinkin' cows are in on it. [There is a conspiracy among the heifers...and I'm not talkin' about your in-laws.]  I've tried coupons but honestly, right now, I do not have the time to keep up with them. [What?  You have time to blog but no time to cut coupons?  You must be stupid. I might be.] Its just hard to keep them organized [Have you seen my desk at school? My dresser? I am special.]  I am keeping my fingers crossed that if I can survive until school ends I can get into a groove with coupons to save money on groceries. [Until then its a lot of cheapo dinners for the Shorties....cooked with love.]

Have you ever taken your toe and drawn a line in the sand?  Maybe a stick? What about mixaphorically? [Gotta love some O'Brother!!]  

What exactly does this "line in a sand" thing mean anyway?  

For some people it means I throw in the towel.  Done.

For others, it means no compromise available.

For me it simply means... 

I am tired.
Exhausted.
Overwhelmed.
DONE.

Honestly, I have lost faith in some people. 

I have learned there are some fiercely mean and extraordinarily selfish people that have trampled all over any sort of civility before speaking or acting towards me, my husband, my children, my colleagues, my friends, my students.....

Some have been students.  I've never seen entitlement rear its ugly head like I have this year. 

Some have been parents.  Wow.  I am amazed when mole hills become huge mountains then mudslides when simple consequences [we are talking more like non-existent-except-on-paper kinds of punishments] are given to children for not following rules.  

The honest truth is that I am relatively laid back in the classroom and I am not one of those looking for something to happen all the time.  As the old saying goes, I choose my battles because I know that kids will be kids and EVERYONE [including yours truly] has a bad day sometimes. 

I guess it is really easy to blame the teacher these days...after all, we only work 10 months a year, get all holidays off, and from what I've heard, don't do a lot anyway.  It's clearly OK that some middle schoolers should be able to do what they want, when they choose, with total disregard for those trying to learn. I get it now...makes sense.  

I will defend my kids like crazy if they are being treated wrongly but let's be completely real for a moment [if that is possible] and think about what I just said...IF.  

Let's play a game....Guess Which One I Chose?

Here is the scenario: My son comes in a few months ago and tells me that a teacher is going to give him detention if he is late one more time. 

Did I....

A. Fly off the handle, contact the teacher, and tell him that he was absolutely out of line for thinking he was going to give my son detention for being late and then tell him that there are plenty of other kids that act way worse than my son, that are late every day?

OR

B. Ask my son why he was late to class so much [to which he says, "All the kids going that way are slow"] and then proceed to tell him to get his A** to class or have detention?

[cue the Jeopardy music here]

If you answered B then you know me well.  Is it the teacher's fault my son can't get across the road in a timely manner?  [If you need time to think about that then you need to be punched in the throat.]  NO!  It is my son's responsibility [now there is a word that is slowly being fazed out of education] to get to class on time or face the consequences [incidentally the definition of consequences is a result or effect of an action or condition...yeah, nothing in there about blaming everyone around you].    

Now don't get me wrong [wasn't that a Chrissy Hines and the Pretenders song?], I ain't perfect nor am I perfect parent.  I make LOTS of mistakes.  But I have learned [in 18 years in this business] that sometimes my kids will make it look a lot worse than it is or they want things to swing in their direction so they make themselves look like victims.  Truth is, most of the time, Short and I can help them come to a simple solution by talking about the why of something that they don't agree with and then let them know it is OK to be frustrated. [And it truly is OK to be frustrated.]  And 99.9% of the time, the issue at hand is either resolved or we find a way to work through it - and those are in good and bad situations.  

These situations are called LIFE LESSONS and we owe it to our children to let them learn these before they go out on their own.  

So you get detention for being late too many times - BE RESPONSIBLE AND GET TO CLASS ON TIME!

You don't get to start in the game - BE DETERMINED TO HUSTLE AND STEP UP AT PRACTICE!

You "forgot" to study so you cheated on a test - BE MATURE ENOUGH TO ADMIT THE MISTAKE AND STUDY HARDER NEXT TIME!

I mean those things worked for me growing up.  My daddy didn't take any excuses from me.  I appreciated it then and even more now. 

I lied in second grade to my teacher and the ENTIRE class about winning a gymnastics competition.  My mom made me apologize to the teacher and the ENTIRE class. No one defended me to the teacher. 

Life lessons are tough but worth it.

[I am probably going to catch to heck for this one....at this stage in the game I. DO. NOT. CARE.] 

My husband was confronted by a parent, in front of my youngest child, another coach, and several players, and was told that they "could settle it in the road." [Hmmmm....is this like a duel or something?  Or a joust?  Oh...I see, you want to fight it out like middle schoolers.] The parent told my husband that he wasn't much of a Christian or a man if he fussed at his team like Short did after the loss. His reason?  The team lost but he didn't agree with my husband [aka THE HEAD COACH] fussing so harshly at the first baseman [aka OUR DAUGHTER] and the other players.  

Excuse me?  I have a few questions for you....

1. Do you want a coach that doesn't fuss when a team doesn't play to their potential?
2. I didn't know that a dad couldn't fuss at his daughter when she made a boneheaded play while running bases...is that a rule somewhere?
3. Was the fact that Short fussed at his daughter a crime?  He didn't touch her, belittle her, cuss at her, etc.
4. What right does this man [I use that term very loosely] have to question what we do with our daughter?  [I'll answer that one for you - absolutely none.]
5. Did he ever stop to think that verbalizing threats gets you in a whole heap of trouble?  [I'll answer this one too - no.] 

Let me paint this picture for you:  This parent thought he observed "abusive" behavior [aka getting your tail chewed because you just got beat by a team that shouldn't have beaten you]  towards my daughter [who was sitting with 15+ other players and coaches] and other players.  He then thought that gave him the right to confront a female coach then block my husband's truck in the parking lot and threaten him, in front of his son, another coach, and players.

Where in the world is this kind of behavior, by anyone, acceptable and why in the world do educators and coaches have to continue to put up with it?  

Yes. Here it is.
____________________________________________
My line in the sand.