Girl Please...

Despite the stabbing pain that engulfed my ENTIRE head, the one causing me to see out of only one part of both eyes, I decided to drag to the Y while Coop had basketball practice. [Hoping to get my mind off of, well, my mind.] Of course, tonight of all nights, the night I am feeling like the 37 year old mother of four that I am, I am forced to run on the treadmill with Super Skinny girl in front of me. [I guess I could have chosen the elliptical beside her but not wanting to show her up and all I just hung back at the treadmill...I'm kinda cool like that sometimes.] Lucky for me, the TV I was focusing on [at this point I had given up on my head not hurting and decided that perhaps focusing on the unrest in Egypt might make me more enlightened tomorrow at the water cooler convo that might take place...] was right above Super Skinny I-Detest-French-Fries Girl [I swear that is what her shirt said]. So, while trying to figure out what in the world those crazy people over in the Middle East are getting us into this time I am looking right over her head at the TV.

OK...I am no gym creeper. You know, one of those people that stares at others. [You know who you are and you are weird] I just wanted to take my mind off this headache and the fact that my legs felt like two ton bricks so I focused on the TV. I guess Super Skinny-I-Think-I'm-All-That-And-A-Bag-Of-Baked-Lays-Chips Girl apparently thought I was looking at her because she shot me one of those "Uh what are you staring at?" looks, to which I promptly gave her one of those, "Girl please" looks. I wanted to say something along the lines of "I'd like to buy you for what you are worth and then sell you for what you think you are worth 'cause I would be one rich honey." [Besides, if I'm gonna be a gym creeper, which I'm not, I'll stare at Craig :)]

Mondays might be the craziest days at my house. It's no wonder my head is killing me tonight. Work all day, run home and fix dinner [the old reliable - spaghetti and meatballs], pick up the baby [oh how I love his sweet Gabe kisses], then head on over to the GWU for a riveting evening of emergent literacy and phonemic awareness in the class I'm teaching, then back home for a few stolen moments with the greatest diva in the world, only to run back out the door to take Coop to basketball practice at the Y [where I pump some iron and walk/run/walk/
drag/walk/nearly die], then back home to do the dishes, speak to my favorite coach, and finally catch up on Molly's day. [When I write it all down it really makes me tired.] Cage the Elephant sings "...their ain't no rest for the wicked...money don't grown on trees...I've got bills to pay and mouths to feed and there's nothing in this world for free..." That is how I feel today. [No, not like a caged elephant you smart alecs]

So tonight, as the Gabster was hugging me before heading off to dreamland, he held on extra tight and extra long. It made me get tears in my eyes - they grow up too fast. I don't want to look back and realize I missed their lives trying to make an extra buck. Tomorrow will be family time - no exceptions. And when I'm at the Y, I might find Super Skinny Girl and stick my tongue out at her 'cause, "Girl...you don't hold a candle to me...just sayin'" :)

Hug your babies and have a wonderful, headache free Tuesday. As always, life as a Short couldn't get any better.

If I had a million dollars....

I don't ask for a lot - I promise. I mean, occasionally, I ask for random things like a York peppermint patty or a shoulder massage. [I am more apt to get 5000 pepppermint patties, at one time, than I am to get the shoulder massage - just being honest.] It would be so very cool to win the lottery [which means I gotta play], find some long lost treasure worth a lot of money, or simply inherit a ton of money [Have you met my family and my inlaws? We ain't rich people....just honest, hardworking, good ole boys and girls.]

You see I would just like to know what it's like to buy what I want, when I want it, without worrying about how to make ends meet if I do buy it. [It is a lot of things....] You see, in order to do these triathlons with my mom and my sister I have got to have a new bike. My bike is a mountain bike that I got in college [and we all know that was years ago...] and it's not useful for street riding. I need a road bike [more like want], shoes, and peddles. I really want to do this - for me, for my mom, and for my sister. I guess I'll just have to keep peddling on the mountain bike until I save enough for a new one [or I find a random one, hanging around, with my name on it].

But you know what? Money's not everything. [I can say that 'cause I ain't never had much of it!] And Short and I've come a very long way - trust me. And even though we have a long way to go I've learned a few things along the way:

1. Tithe without regret and have faith.
2. Buy used cars. [And pay for them - no car payments...I hate them.]
3. Don't be a slave to your bills. [Credit cards can seem like they were sent straight from HELL if used unwisely.]
4. Grocery shopping is fairly inexpensive if you make a menu and list and stick to both of them. [And don't go to the grocery store when you are hungry. Or with Craig - he really likes junk food.]
5. Pray. [Not for money...for wisdom to use what you've got.]
6. Don't expect things to change if you aren't willing to sacrifice.

So...there you have it....my dissertation on all things money. We want a new computer [our laptop has decided that it's done..finished...the end] but right now we cannot afford it so we'll save up and get one. [For now we'll have to "share" with Molly - pray for us.] We also want a flat screen TV, new furniture, wood floors in our living room, and 1001 other things...and when we can afford them we'll have them. The key word is WANT - a wise man [Sweet William] told me that you have to seperate your needs from your wants. We need to eat, have a roof over our heads, and keep the vehicles running. The wants will wait. [Cause you can't drive a new couch or wear a flat screen TV now can ya?]

Have a fabulously awesome week! As always, life as a Short is sweet :)

Colossians 3:23 (Repeat)

"Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord and not for men." Colossians 3:23.

Repeat.

I will continue to find the fun, to work at it with all my heart, and even name calling won't take me down - game on...so bring it :)

Putting out Fires

Friday night had the most fun with some truly good friends. I met Jenny, Sue, Mindy, Emily, and Mallory at Mi Pueblito's in Shelby for dinner. [Mindy, Sue, and Jenny are sisters..Emily is Sue's daughter and Mallory is Mindy's daughter...I had both Emily and Mallory for two years each - 4th and 5th grade....and I taught school with Mindy, Sue, and Jenny for years. Could those connections be any more complicated?] We laughed and just had a fabulous time together. [I like to consider myself sort of an honorary sister :)]

Jenny [my favorite oldest friend as I call her] had some salsa and let's just say it set me on fire. I didn't realize how hot it was until it was too late [i.e. I put a large chip-full in my mouth. Not cool to go spitting chips and stuff out of your mouth at the dinner table.] It set my mouth on fire! I was telling Craig about it and Gabe overheard our conversation. He looked at me, kind of puzzled, and he said, "So did the fireman have to come and put out the fire?" AND he was serious. "No buddy...I just used water." That seemed to satisfy him [or confuse him terribly considering fire usually involves a fireman] for the time being.

I have been fortunate enough [and VERY blessed] to have a new opportunity in my life [I would elaborate more but considering this is a public blog that may not be the professional thing to do...] and I am thoroughly enjoying it so far. So today I was putting out fires all the way there. Cooper had pictures at basketball, Emma had to help do the Pledge of Allegiance at the school board meeting, Molly had Bible study, and Gabe, well he just had to be Gabe...but poor Craig was having to deal with all of it - ALONE! Cooper informed me at 3:25pm as I was jumping back in the car for my adventure that he really needed to be at basketball 30 minutes early. [So is this where I tell you that I clapped my hands, said "Abra-Cadabra", and solved the dilemma?] I start calling around, trying to get my good friend to pick Cooper up, while stopping to meet Craig to change cars, and making sure that I get a diet Sundrop for the ride [Priorities here people....]. I was afraid that she wasn't going to get the message about Cooper so at each stoplight I am sending text messages to various people to make sure she got the word and to Craig to give him the plans. By the time I got to my next adventure it was problem solved! [I know...I'm good...no need to pat me on the back...or send money...unless, of course, you insist] Actually the credit goes to my main squeeze, Mr. Short, for getting the diva dressed to impress and taking the holy terror to a school board meeting! He is awesome :) [He also likes money...big bills are fine] . No, we didn't forget about Molly - she rides with a friend each week. [My parents have crowned her Cinderella because she always has to do the dirty work around here...she so has them snowed...we actually split the dirty work between her and Cooper. Does that make him the little mouse that hangs out with Cinderella?]

So, for the first day of the week, it wasn't a bad one. As always, life as a Shortie is just plain awesome.

Gotta Find the Fun

I am pretty sure this has been the longest short week. I think it's because I've had the sniffle snots [just being honest people...just being honest] and I haven't slept very well. Nothing in particular happened to make it a horrible week...just not the greatest week ever. [Again, stop with the eye rolling about my job as a teacher and having the last week off and blah, blah, blah. I actually have more than one job thank you....] Add to the whole can't breathe out of my nose thing the fact that I am teaching about fossils and rocks the law of superposition. [Don't Google it...it just means that the oldest rocks and most simple fossils are at the bottom while the younger, more complex rocks and fossils are at the top....and we'll have fun, fun, fun til the teacher takes the fossils away....] Oddly enough, with the most boring topic EVER, the kids have had fabulous [and unfortunately not easy to answer] questions. That makes it fun to be a teacher - even if the topics is rocks.

I did learn a lesson today from a wise person. This person told me, after being in my room with one of my classes, that my kids [school kids...I actually have 104 children ♥] seemed like fun. And that got me thinking....you gotta find the fun. That is true. I have to find the fun. Fossils aren't fun [unless you are a paleontologist...or a fossil lover...] but we can make them fun. If I find them fun and I make fossils, rocks, geologic time, and even extinction seem like the greatest science topics EVER then maybe, just maybe the ones that matter will find the fun too. [That's a wake up call people - get a hint.]

And of course, it wouldn't be a Step Away Chubby without a Shortie story. Tonight, after our devotion, Gabe was selected to say the prayer and it went a little something like this:

"Thank you Father (thank you Father), for our food (for our food), many, many blessings (many, many blessings), I would hate to be Stanley (I would hate to be Stanely) A-ah-men (A-ah-men)."

Needless to say the rest of us at the table were hee-hawing [inside our shirts of course]. Craig was the only one that had enough sense to tell him thank you. [And I realized, at that moment, that Gabe watches way too much TV when he is reciting parts of the Geico commercial during his blessing prayer] Bless him...

And tonight was Taco Salad Thursday [doesn't have the same ring as Taco Salad Tuesday but we had Fried Onion Baked Chicken Tuesday...and I'm going to stop now...] so Emma decided that she wanted to try some refried beans. After one taste she decided she didn't like them because they were the insides of the beans with beans mixed up in them. [She does have a point there - never thought about it that way. Just another reason to leave the beans in the bowl. I wish her daddy would forgo the beans sometimes if you get my drift...or smell the drift...]

As always, life as a Short [while really snotty this week] is totally awesome. On the agenda: Find the fun :)

New Look

So I got creative tonight and decided to change the whole look of the blog....I hope you like it. [Honestly, I really don't care if you like it very much - I happen to think it is cool]

This has been a crazy month so far - go back to school from Christmas break for a week then miss the next week to snow and a holiday...go back again, today, and feel like you're not sure which way is up. [Well I do know that because I'm a science teacher.] Crazy but good Tuesday. Supposedly the weather is going to be crazy this winter [according to largely hairy cows, woolie worms, and the snow that refuses to leave - ask your Granny or a local farmer] and when it does blow another winter storm back in we will lose spring break. [Some of you that work what you like to coin as "real" jobs are rolling your eyes right now because we might miss spring break. Come hang out with a bunch of hormonally imbalanced, slightly derainged, and overly sensitive 13, 14, and 15 year olds for the next 12 weeks - STRAIGHT- and then we'll have that discussion about who has a "real" job.] I guess we can't control the weather any more than I control the remote when Short is around.

On the Shorties homefront it's been fun as usual. Gabe has decided that running and jumping at people, randomly, is his new way to get his kicks. He jumped at Craig [Craig was not ready for him] and nearly broke his neck....laughing all the way down. The boy gets up going 90 mph and goes to sleep that way. You'd think I would be skinny as a rail from chasing him - I must be stuffing pizza down my gullet with the hand that's not fetching him. He asked us one morning last week if we were going to the YMC. I said to him, "Do you mean the YMCA?" to which he replied, "Um, no...I mean the YMC - that's what I said." [Guess I heard that didn't I?] He has also decided that a good answer to important questions is simply "Maybe." [Hmmmmm...sounds like two more men that live in this house....] . For instance, today I asked him if he got a smiley face in his class - "Maybe." Then I asked if he liked his dinner - "Maybe." [Maybe? Already? He's only 4....GEEZ!] And one of his other new things is joke telling. "Hey! Let me tell you this joke" then he goes off [and I mean like DEEP end people] with the punchline [which usually contain the words poopie and fart] that makes zero sense. But if you don't laugh he gets mad. [Plus we're used to lame jokes b/c Cooper tells them ALL the time.]

Emma is doing well and has decided that sleeping in her bed does have it's merits [like a comfy mattress, a nice pillow, and no crick in your neck from sleeping on this thing some call a couch {Sorry Chris and Summer...I love you but this couch blows when it comes to laying down on it}] Of course there have been several occasions , in the mornings, when we've had to lay hands on her and exercise the demons [They usually come out for Zumba or kickboxing {imaginary drum roll and cymbal crash}...I guess Cooper gets his lame joke telling honest doesn't he?] I just don't get it with her - she is completely fine one minute then she goes all Jekyll and Hyde on us and we're not sure what to do. What's she going to be like at 15?

So I am guessing that I need to get some sleep...6am is going to come pretty early. I have elected to sleep on the couch tonight since I have a nasty cold and according to Short, and I quote, my snoring could "wake the dead." [He's a really light sleeper you know...I know that I know because he tells me EVERYDAY how my snoring woke him up....as if I can help it that my nostrils are not currently functioning as airways but as corks.] Off to dreamland....life is good :)

Showers and Snow

Now, before some of you get in a twist, it's not what the title implies [Well, it is, but not what some of you are thinking] . Follow along with me...

Yesterday morning, Emma and Gabe both needed a bath. We'd been up late on Saturday night and neither of them had been in the shower or taken a bath. Now since there are 6 of us here we have to plan bathing very carefully so that everyone gets hot water. Usually, Gabe will take a shower with Cooper and Emma is big enough that she likes to take a shower by herself. [Some of you, right now, are wondering why I am talking about our "shower schedule" on a public blog and some of you are wondering, further, why you are reading it.] Well, since none of that happened on Saturday night both Emma and Gabe got into the shower with me.

It's bad enough with just Gabe. He is a water hog [hydropig] and he simply refuses to move out of the water so that someone else can get in. He stands right in the biggest part of the spray leaving me to simply hope to catch a few drops here and there. Yesterday morning not only was he in the way but he added this high pitched [like he's dying] scream to the mix, leading me to the conclusion that he should really just take a bath [or get in the shower with Craig] from now on. Poor Emma was forced to do a dance in the few streams of water she could find to actually wash her hair and her body. As for me, well I'm not totally sure I got all the shampoo out of my hair....but at least Gabe was clean :)

In other Short news, we are currently experiencing Winter Storm 2011 [I stole that from the news stations] and right now I am on my 3rd hour of sheer boredem. There is only so much Facebook you can take before it becomes mind-numbing, I've had a shower [alone] and put my nicest jogging pants on, and am currently resisting the temptation to eat that bag of hickory bbq wavy Lays chips that are screaming my name [You hear the voices too don't you?]. Craig decided that since the National Championship is on tonight and we'll be staying up late to watch it that we need some snacks so he took three of my four children to the store. [I will remind the budget Nazi of this when he tries to cut off my fingers for taking money to buy something I need like a pair of cute rainboots or some new jeans] So now I get to be bored, snowed in with 5 other crazy people [I can say that b/c they belong to me] and I get to cook a bunch of food ['cause I know he ain't buyin' carrots and broccoli]. And since we'll probably be out of school all week that means we'll go from now until next August...this day just keeps getting better and better.

So from my snowed in and showered house to yours...stay warm, drink a bunch of hot chocolate, and have a bordem free day....Life is good :)

You So Crazy.....

Somehow, tonight, we ended up with an impromptu [impromptu is a terribly funny word] talent show right here in the living room. It began with Coop and Craig singing a favorite Shinedown song "The Crow and the Butterfly" [which is an odd and long title to a very strange song....I am pretty sure you gotta be strung out on something to "get it"]. After they swooned us [or at least woke up the neighbors 5 dogs from their evening slumber] Molly, Emma, and Gabe decided to get in on the action. I could not let a moment like this go by now could I? [Be very thankful I missed Craig and Coop singing - trust me.]

And to think, it's only Tuesday and we're stirring up this much fun on Fulton Drive? What's it going to look like by Saturday??

As always, life is a song [at least for the Shorts] and we're singing [well, I'm not because then all of the dogs in KM would be on our front porch....I only sing, well, never....]

You Better Like It or Leave Him

I vividly remember the conversation I had with my own father when Craig and I first started dating.

Me: Daddy, I really like him a lot.
Daddy: Well good. I can't wait to meet him!
Me: He really likes football. In fact, we are going to watch the Peach Bowl at his place instead of going out tonight - change of plans since UNC is in the game.
Daddy: Well you better learn to like it [football] or leave him

Up until that point in my life I had never watched an entire football game. [Now racing...I had watched some racing. In fact, I was a MAJOR Earnhardt fan - Dale, Sr. that is. And I had played some golf ...my daddy didn't have any little boys so I liked what my daddy liked: Racing and golf.] I remember asking Craig one time, while watching a game, "Why do they always run towards the people?" Craig responded, puzzled, "What do you mean?" and I answered with "When one team kicks the ball [punts] to the other, why does the team with the ball always run straight to the middle, where everyone on the other team is already? Why not just run around the edge?" Craig [with some major eye rolling I am sure], "Honey, that is just how it works. Always going to the edge takes too much time." At a high school play off game I asked him was the other team going to kick a three point conversion. "Missy, honey, that would be a field goal." I was not a football kind of girl.

But now I can talk some smack with most men [sort of...it sounds good anyway] and I've been to and seen my share of football games. In fact, this past Saturday, we watched EVERY bowl game on TV. Most Saturdays, during football season, you will find me at the TV. I love my Colts [been a Peyton Manning fan since the late 90s] and I even have a fantasy team [Lost Shakers of Salt - I'm also a Parrothead]. And I try very hard not to miss a game on Fridays [mostly 'cause I like to watch that cute coach with the hat and the headset that coaches defense ♥]. I even critique the game for Craig when he gets home on Friday nights [which he loves by the way]. We are a football family...go figure.

I can say that I love it so I don't have to leave him ♥