I'll Take 3 S's and an R Pat

Tomorrow, March 31, 2016, is my daddy's last day at work.

When he walks out of Duke [Power, Energy...whatever its called] tomorrow he will be a retiree. [Now would be a great time to insert some kind of AARP joke but I'm not that kind of daughter I'm saving it for later.]

Let me 'splain a bit about my daddy.  

He is a working man. Even when he isn't at work the man is working.  For several years he has worked 4-tens [for those of you not well versed in HR language that means 4 ten hour days] but on the days off he was the busiest man I know. He doesn't do idleness.  

Now, after almost 39 years of working for the same company [which is an amazing feat] he's taking it to the house.  [Just a little side note here: My mom works from home.  My prediction is that his new job will be to drive her slap nuts crazy.]

I am so stinkin' happy that my daddy will finally get to do things he really wants to do without the pressure of a job. He deserves to be able to retire. 

My sister and I have never wanted for anything.  All of our lives, as far back as I can remember, we've been provided for because my parents have always worked. My mom and dad put themselves through college, then my sister and I through college [one of us took a little longer than normal but we turned out ok], then paid for two weddings,  took us on countless trips, bought and made meals, took us [my family, her family] shopping for shoes, clothes, and everything in between, provided for us when we needed it, and never, never, NEVER let us go without. 

The only thing my dad ever asked of us, my sister and me, was that we work and do our part to help out.  His favorite saying [now and forever]: There's no free lunch. His other favorite saying: Save up.  We learned early having a job and earning our way was an expectation [Can't say that I've always been really great at either one of those...at least not until I got older...and I'm still not great at the save up part.] We've always had good role models.  Everyone should be as lucky as us.

So, tomorrow, when it's quittin' time and Zippy takes his final walk [as an employee] down the sidewalk to his truck and drives out of McGuire Nuclear on his last day I hope he is smiling from ear to ear.  I hope he realizes the incredible legacy he is leaving behind for those that come after him. I hope those that come after him realize the bar has been set really high. [And for those that called him Grumpy all these years: All of you have had it all wrong. He is clearly the 3 S's: Stern, Stubborn, and Sweet and now he can add the R for Retired.] 

There aren't many men like my daddy. He is the finest man I know. He is and will always be the first man I ever loved and he is my hero. 

I am so proud to be his daughter. 

I love you Daddy. 

As a mutual friend of ours says...It's those changes in latitudes,

changes in attitudes nothing remains quite the same.

Enjoy the fishing Zippy!

Following the Tides

I spent a lot of my surprise beach trip [a gift from my sweet hubs], sitting where the tide ran right over my chair, and I watched the waves move in and out.

Tiny sea shells made their way to and from.

My feet were buried deep in the sand, only to become uncovered with each pull of the tide.

I let the waves wash over me, again and again and again.

The sounds of the ocean are intoxicating. Honestly, I would've have been just as happy to sit there for the entire trip and do nothing but listen to the ocean - day and night. 

More than the cathartic [its almost time for school to start so time to amp up the vocabulary] sounds of the ocean this time by the water allowed me time [virtually no time in front of the TV, cell phone, computer, etc.] to gain some much needed perspective.

The last few months have been emotionally stressful.

No, we haven't experienced anything tragic or monumental.  In the grand scheme of things, the good has far outweighed the bad. 

What I've learned is that emotional stress doesn't always mean things aren't going well.  For me, it just meant I was trying way too hard to handle my feelings about some changes in my life on my own.

I can't do anything on my own. [Seriously, if you know me, you know that I do not enjoy being alone.  I'm that girl and I don't care who knows.]  I've never considered myself as an arrogant person but thinking that I could handle anything apart from God is just arrogant.  

And just because GOD IS AWESOME [and has impeccable timing] our evening service at church Sunday was about the promises of God.  And the first one on my list?

I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

Jeremiah 32:27

As I was sitting last week, watching the waves crash back and forth [and listening to everything from Lecrae to Earl Scruggs to Hillsong] God's voice was so clear:

I created this ocean, the depths of which man will never know.  I curved the sky so that it would meet the water at just the right moment so the sun could paint a beautiful picture. This sand. These shells. The noise.  All of this was so perfectly orchestrated so that my people would give Me praise.  If I take care of the smallest creature from the ocean why wouldn't I take care of you?

It made me think of a Lecrae song my family enjoys jamming to in the car. [We need a Go Pro camera. Seriously. We do some funny stuff in the car.] The song, Hang On, has a part that is referencing Matthew 6:25 - 34. [Which was also presented as a promise of God. Not a coincidence.]

[Grandma:] Hello.
[Lecrae:] Hey Grandma. It's me.
[Grandma:] Hey baby!
[Lecrae:] Hey, I need you to pray for me. I'm just going through some things right now.
[Grandma:] Well, what's going on?
[Lecrae:] Well, you know, just everything. Family, money, just life in general. It's crazy.
[Grandma:] Well, let me tell you what the good Lord say, He said don't be anxious about yo' life. What you gon' eat or what you gon' drink or about yo' body. See, life is more than food, and the body is more than for clothing. Birds in the sky, they don't sow, they don't reap, but yo' heavenly Father feeds ya'. So, He say just seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to ya'. See, life ain't for you to control, carry all the burdens. That's why ya' give ya' life to Him. Hang on.

This trip wasn't about being at the beach or being in the sun [or Matt and I whooping Craig and Molly at putt putt not just once but twice]. For me, it was about the time I spent just talking to Jesus and listening to Him speak to me. 

Just as the tide changes, so my life will continue to change. 

My children are going to grow up, move out of my house, [hopefully stay out of jail *thinks of Gabe*], and have their own lives one day.

I am getting older [I refuse to say old] and I have to continue to move, eat healthy, and take care of myself. 

People are going to come and go...in my life and the lives of my husband and children.

The only constant is change.  I can embrace change, just like I relished my time in the surf with the waves crashing around me, or I can continue to worry about the "what ifs".  

My pastor ended his Sunday evening service with three things we should understand about God's promises.  One in particular hit home: God's promises are conditional on our obedience to seek and listen. 

As always, life as a Shortie [who is learning to continue to follow the tides, ride the waves, and know that God has got this] is really sweet :)  

Life as Mom

I am not sure that ANYONE understands how a mother feels.  

I often share a great deal about my children [sometimes to their chagrin] because they are my number one priority.  I have a career but the children that God has entrusted me with, that live under my roof, are my first and most important job.

I hover. 
I am nosey.
I am involved in their lives.

I won't apologize for being "that mom" at all. 

But I wasn't prepared for them to be grown up and have their own lives. [You know...those lives that involve them following their own dreams and hearts....making their own grown up decisions.]

We are a close bunch here at Casa de Shortie.  My favorite coach and I have tried to be the kinds of parents that have always encouraged open dialogue about the things that our kids are facing or may face.  Sometimes those are extremely uncomfortable but absolutely necessary conversations. [I do have some decorum and respect for the privacy of my children so I'll keep the details to myself.] What we have discovered is that they will talk to us and ask our opinion about decisions or issues. 

What I have figured out over the last several months is that I have to learn to step back and let them [the oldest two] live their lives without always telling them what I think. [That was even hard to type.] 

I don't know what it is like to be a dad. [I've never personally been one.]  I know that my dad is just awesome and that my husband is an amazing father.  

But I can speak to...

....Life as mom...

Moms have the distinct pleasure of feeling a life as it grows.  There is something amazing about a tiny baby growing inside of your body.  God is just awesome like that!   The pains of childbirth  seem so trivial compared to the precious piece of Heaven here on Earth that is an infant. 

Moms watch these tiny bundles, that were so protected inside the womb, grow into little humans with personalities and dreams.  It is most extremely difficult to watch a piece of your heart, outside of your body.  I cannot describe, in words, this incredibly insane and passionate love I have for the those four babies.  

Sometimes, when I really think about the fact that God chose me to be their mother it is hard to catch my breath.  

Being a mom is one of the most difficult yet rewarding jobs a woman could ever have in her life.  

Moms watch these tiny people grown into older people. [And many times, at least at my house, these older people were hard to like...loved them dearly but holy cow....they should've come with a disclaimer at birth, attached to their big toe, that says something like, "Crazy from 12 - 15 years of age so medicate yourself Mom".]  Hearts are broken by friends and sports and members of the opposite gender.  [I've spent many a night with tears in my own eyes, praying that I wouldn't punch the heart breakers right square in the teeth.  I won't lie....I've wanted to many times.] 

Yet, it is during these times that God has spoken the loudest to me and to my children.  I will never, ever forget praying over my son at 2am after he admitted he contemplated taking his own life [I can't even type the word...] or being wide awake at 4:30am, urged by God, telling me to pray about Molly's future.  

I haven't faced the struggles that many parents face every day....sickness, drug addiction, the death of a child....but our lives are far from perfection.  As parents, Short and I don't always get it correct.  We make mistakes [lots] and they make mistakes [lots].  We try to learn from them, all of us...sometimes we do and sometimes not so much. And that is OK.  Parents are not given a set of instructions or charts that help us pinpoint the exact cause, effect, and solution.   
Through these valleys [that sometimes seemed like huge mountains] God gave me, Mom, the strength, the courage, the sagacity [BOOM! Vocabulary? Check!] to help my children find their way back. 

God has used them help me find my way back. 

Ultimately, through all of this, I've been mom. 

I hope that I've done that job God intended for me to do as I've raised my children.  My prayer has always been that I raise my children to love Jesus, each other, and to chase their dreams.

• I have one that just finished a year of college and is moving to the next state and a new college.  
• I have another that is already talking about going to college in two years then on to seminary.
• I have one that will be with me at the middle school in a year and is the most compassionate soul I've ever met.
• I have one that is two years from leaving elementary school and has a personality like his daddy.

I am staring down the barrel of a whole mess of life changes for my oldest two.
I am struggling.  

How do I let go? [I am being totally serious.]

I am so used to holding on tightly that it is hard to loosen that grip to boyfriends and girlfriends and college and moving and what God has planned for their lives. I want to protect them from the harshness of life but if I don't allow them to experience these things then I'm being selfish. And I am admitting that I think my plan is far better than what God has in store for them. [And that is just completely arrogant of me.] 

So as I face the future as mom, watching them spread their wings and fly, I am reminded of Molly's favorite verse:

God can do immeasureably more than we could ever hope for or imagine.

Ephesians 3:20 

He can. 

He will.

He has already.

Learning to loosen that grip...one Shortie at a time.

All Good in Our Hood

I asked Craig last a question last night:

Why do people feel the need to be so petty and backstabbing?

Let it go. 
We are certainly over you. 
And the drama you seem to drag with you.  

I am not quite sure I understand the motivation behind people who just want to cause problems and just instigate drama. I am baffled, quite honestly. [And a little perturbed at the boldness with which some adults spin a tale to suit their purpose or situation.]

But my oldest son said something profound, that I already knew, but needed to hear again: I'm not worried.  I know who I am and for what I stand.  I don't need affirmation nor do I need to win over people.  If someone doesn't like me then I don't care.  God has got this.

I love it when God uses our children to remind us that He has got this.  

What I've realized through all of this "drama" [petty-selfish-grow-on-up-act your-age-not-your-shoe-size drama] the last two months is...

• that sometimes people will let you down by blindsiding you and attacking you. God never lets us down. 
• sometimes people will turn on you [in a skinny minute] when it appears you don't buy into selfish behaviors.  God never turns on you.
• sometimes people will wreak havoc in your life if you allow them to do so. God doesn't have ulterior motives.
• sometimes you just gotta roll with punches [even when it seems like everyone is swinging].  God has no intentions of harming you.

In other [way more happy] news I have had a fantastic week of healing and recovering.  [Not going to lie...I wish I could be a stay at home mom.]  I've been on the receiving end of so many well wishes and prayers.  I am so appreciative to have so many wonderful folks in my life.  

Wednesday I had a visit from a dear, sweet sister from church.  Wow!  God always knows when two folks need to cross paths with each other.  She came to bring me lunch but she left me with so much more!  What an absolute blessing to just talk, laugh, and fellowship over all of the wonders that God has done for each of us.  We had such a great time and I am thankful and blessed to call her friend.  

My bullet holes are healing nicely.  [I suppose I should watch when and where I refer to them as bullet holes.]  Not going to lie though, today was the first day I put on jeans. [And some of you that have seen me this week are VERY thankful not to see those sad, gray jogging pants.]  It amazes me at the ease of the entire process.  I IMMEDIATELY felt better when I woke up in the recovery room. Modern medicine is amazing. 

I will leave you with a Gabe story. [Its been a while.] I ate lunch with him yesterday.  In his class he's been working on a project with a classmate about Benjamin Franklin. [Now those of you that know us also know that my kids LOVE history.]  Here is a conversation he and I had about Ben Franklin at lunch.

Me: So what did you learn about Ben Franklin?

Gabe: Well his brother got arrested.  I think his name was Snoop Dog. So Ben had to take over the newspaper while his brother was in jail.

Me: What else did you learn? [I refrained from any argument about Ben's brother being named Snoop Dog.]

Gabe: Well he was a serious womanizer, but I already knew that.

Me [insert sheer panic]:  Ummm....you didn't include that in your project did you?  

Gabe: The part about his brother Snoop? Yes. The other part about the ladies? No. *insert wink*

[Just so you know we are not terrible parents.  Cooper apparently made that exact statement about Ben being a womanizer while we watched Sons of Liberty on the History Channel. There you go...proof that Gabe does listen when he really wants to listen. Further proof that we need to watch what is said in front of the militant midget.]

As always, life as a Short could not be any better :)

Running with Scissors

A couple of weeks ago someone told me that I shouldn't write the way I write because I hurt their feelings.

I hurt their feelings by telling the truth about my own reaction.

I was also told by this person that they felt like I did something, on purpose, just to be mean.

So much was said about me [most of it negative] yet when it came time to have a conversation I wasn't allowed to talk.  

Since it happened, none of this has made any sense to me. At all.

Today, the weight of this "issue" [really, pretty much a petty non-issue if you ask me but no one did] just came lifting off of me.

This isn't my problem.

I control my reaction to situations and people.  No. One. Else. 

I have taken a step back when it comes to some folks in my life.  That was my choice.  I get to decide who is and isn't allowed into my life.  I am quite smart enough to decide who I let in.  I choose to guard my heart, not to keep it from hurting [because that is inevitable if you have kids], but I honestly don't want to be around people who are selfish, self-consumed, and only want what benefits them. Seriously, if every conversation has to revolve around who does and doesn't like you then how do you have any real friends?  I guess, as an adult, I am way past the who likes me stuff.    

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

As an adult, I am learning that if I don't agree with something that is OK.  If I choose not to participate [be it Facebook, parties, or whatever] that is MY choice.  I am the one that lives with my choices. Furthermore, I don't feel the need to explain every personal choice to others.  

What I haven't been able to get past these last few weeks is why this particular [PETTY] situation that caused so much turmoil?  And why would you kick the hornet's nest and then get mad because you get stung?

I am dealing with people that are self-consumed.  You cannot reason with people who think everything [and when I say everything I mean everything...Facebook, Twitter, the world pretty much] revolves around them. Why would I even have a side to this story when the other side is all that anyone is willing to hear?  In our house we call them "Me Monsters".  

I have to remind myself, my favorite coach, and my children that the world doesn't revolve around us. We don't always get it right.  As humans, we all have to remind ourselves of that and get back to what is really important: Allowing God's light to shine through us.

I spent way too much time worrying about people that honestly, in the big picture, have zero affect on me and who I am.  More importantly, if they choose to only see [and dwell on] the negative and what isn't being done for them then I can't control that at all...so why worry? I'm not willing to shoulder the burden of "Me Monsters" any more. 

Our pastor made a statement this morning that really resonated with me.  He has such a unique way of taking tiny parts of scripture and making them so BIG. This morning his message came from I Peter 1:1-2 and he was teaching us about who we are in Christ.  His second point was that in Christ we are strangers who are wandering this world.  

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is...his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

I don't want to be of this world.  I don't want to worry about who likes me or if I impress others or if I'm making everyone happy but only by feeding egos. 

As always, life as a Short couldn't be better [and a whole lot lighter].

Quote That

If only I'd had this one [above and below] a few weeks ago....

Good Gravy...Somebody Slap Me

Save the drama for yo momma.

First things first...I apologize for the overly dramatic, I-sounded-like-I-was-dying post from a few days ago.  Holy cow Batman. [I mean I could take it down but it's still there so might as well own up to it.]

I'm over it. 

All of it.

I mean, really, God has bigger plans for my life.  

For your life.  

He certainly doesn't want you [or me] to waste time reading [or writing] about drama.  

I am still reading Jen Hatmaker's book, Interrupted, and God is continuing to speak volumes to me. [I'm finally learning to listen.] 

Last Sunday night I hit my knees and I asked God to take all of "this" away...the anxiety, the worry, the things that keep me from Him. 

Why didn't I [with sincerity] ask for this sooner?  Seriously. 

I could kick my own self sometimes. [No, I'm not taking volunteers to do this for me, but thanks.] 

I love Jesus. 

I love, without ANY regrets, these crazy folks I call the Shorties. 

I love that no matter what life throws at me that I can always count on my favorite coach to be standing there, holding my hand.

I love my life.

#MakeMovesOrMakeExcuses

We love Christian rap at our house.  One of our faves is Andy Mineo.  His song, You Can't Stop Me, has played in my head for a while now: 

Well, if I listen to you, and everything you put in my ear

I'll be living like woulda, shoulda, coulda, I'll be paralyzed by fear

Huh, ain't that the truth, if I quit the only way I lose

I got two choices when I do this - make moves or make excuses

Huh, if you know who I'm talking about, then you got me

My biggest enemy is me - and even I can't stop me

As always, being a Short is quite awesome....

Romans 8:31 "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" 

You can't stop me. 

Walking Away

My daddy and I had a rather heated conversation in the parking lot at Crest High School over the whole situation in the stands.  In a nutshell, my daddy implored with me to just learn to ignore folks that are being ugly.  

He is usually always correct when it comes to these things.  Sometimes it takes someone, outside of me, to point out that its just not worth the worry and heartache.

[Just a side note but Craig and I just had a conversation about this.  He asked me was he anything like my daddy and if so, is that what I was looking for when we started dating. He he is a lot like my dad in that his character is evident. Like my dad, he will tell you where he stands but he is respectful and willing to see your side.  He can often see things rationally when I can't...just like my dad.]

I will be honest [as I always try to be]...I am walking in some new territory here and I am frightened.

Worse than that, I am sad for this wonderful man I am married to and he didn't ask to be put in this predicament. 

I love writing this blog. [Seriously, there are tears in my eyes as I type this tonight.]  
I love sharing my heart and my pitfalls [there are so many].  
Most of all, I love sharing my family.   

I love writing when it feels like the very breath I am trying to inhale is hard to find.

Yes. I will share when I feel mistreated or I am angry.  [Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong with this next statement.]  

I take ownership for my words and their recoil. 

I'm not ashamed to be honest and open.  Many times, after I begin writing and revising, and re-reading, I can see bits of snippy so I do my best to provide context. [Perhaps that doesn't make it any less snippy but at least the reader might understand how I'm feeling and why.  That certainly doesn't mean they have to agree or like it.  Again, to each their own.]

I love sharing my faith and what God is doing in my life. 

And honestly, for the first time in so many months of anxiety and despair, I am so excited about this fire, this Holy passion, that is moving under me.  As Hillsong sings, I want to shout it from the Rooftops.

Yet it only takes one moment of petty insecurity to knock the breath right out of a person.  

And suddenly, sharing my heart and my life, intertwined with scriptures and struggles and funny colored brackets [and sometimes words that only mean something to me] seems like a horrible idea.  
  
Beyond writing and sharing my life, I love my husband and my family.  
With reckless abandon.
With no regrets.
With all of my heart.

So I walk away from this blog that has become so much more to me that just words.

Maybe not forever. 

But for now.

 

Assumptions

Got a good swift kick in the gut earlier tonight.

Still laying here.  
Kind of stunned.  
Kind of humored.

I've worked so hard to let petty go. 

Today it punched me squarely in the jaw. And it stung.

And it all started [or ended] with Facebook.  [And adults. Holy cow.]

I've combed back through my Facebook AND Twitter posts because the statement was made that I have made references to this particular person in my posts.

Huh?  I'll be the first to tell you that I don't do things like that at all.  I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed and I can say too much [usually to the chagrin of my poor children] BUT I dang sure know that I'm not talking about people on social media like a 14 year old.  Absolutely zero truth to that statement.    

• Have I disagreed with folks?  Sure have.  Am I embarassed or ashamed about that?  Not in the least.  
• Have I shared my despair and issues that I struggle with because I am a real person?  Absolutely. 
• Do I like to tell silly stories about my family [that mean way more to me than to any of you] via social media?  Yes!!!! [Those are my favorites.]
• Have I pulled against a certain local high school on a recent Friday night [or several recent Friday nights]?  Yes. And I will probably continue in the future. It's not Team Jesus Football. 
• Did I make fun of country music at some point, either on Facebook, Twitter, or here?  Why yes I did. 
• Have I shared my faith and my heart and what God was [and is] doing in my life?  These are the things I've tried to do the most. 

[Let's flip the tables here...]

• Have I ever read a status on Facebook or seen a tweet that made me want to punch a chicken?  Yes.
• Have I ever disagreed with something that was posted on social media?  Yes.
• Is it necessary for me to like or approve or look at everything that comes across my news feed and twitter log?  Not only is it unnecessary...who cares?

But have I EVER been just blatantly 8th grade girl mean? No. I can say that in complete confidence.

Yet, somehow, I get sucked into the dark, dreary, unpleasant underworld of

MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.

And then, like a 7th grade this-mullet-was-in-style picture [or is that just me?] hits you years later, I get hit in the face with all the unpleasantries of a bad episode of Toddlers and Tiaras.  

All ASSUMED to have been inflicted, with all the malicious intent I could muster,

to show my non-support by..............

 [*insert serious, gut-wrenching music*]

removing my name from a tagged post on Facebook.

My reaction exactly. 

I don't peg myself as particularly naïve about things but this one really made me question my sanity. 

I received a text message and Craig a phone call.

  

All of a sudden, instead of something that was just meant to keep me from getting 1003 unwanted notifications, I became this person who just wants to see the world burn.

I really, honestly and truly, just wanted the notifications to stop.  That's it. I promise. 

Newsflash!!!
I ain't perfect and I've done a lot of stupid things in my life.  I'm weird and quirky when it comes to sharing my feelings verbally [that is why I write because the words come very easily].  I haven't always made the right decisions. I can be difficult and obstinate [ask Craig and my dad] when I think I'm correct.  I'm not overly social in a lot of situations, even when I know people.

[These are things that keep me up at night but it is so worth it. The silence and the time of reflection and meditation often brings me clarity and peace when I am anxious and worried.  God's just kind of awesome like that.]

After it was all said and done, I had a long talk with Craig.  We discussed moving forward and forgiveness; working harder and being more in tune. [Remember that prayer...God raise up in me a holy passion.  He is calling on Craig and I to listen in the little things.] He reminded me of something that I said to him earlier in the summer: You can't tell God you trust Him and that you've let it go, then hang on to it.  That shows you don't really trust Him enough to give it up.  

[Shameless plug for that man of mine but if it hadn't been for him, diffusing the situation, then I'm not sure what might have happened on my end of the equation. He was gracious, kind, and open to suggestions on moving forward.]

I have a lot to work on in my own life without trying to intentionally tear down someone else. 

James 3:2: We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.

Joy! Unspeakable Joy!

[Shhhhh...don't tell the school system where we've been and why we all missed school on Friday.]

We have been on a mini-vacation.

A Shortie Sabbatical.

And it has been GLORIOUS!

We needed this time together.

Since graduation on June 7th we have not stopped!  At all. For anything.

We went to Disney World.  It was such a fun trip but no vacation [more like a military exercise] and since we returned it seems like we, as a family, have been stretched more and more thin.  Craig worked three summer camps, Molly and Cooper both went to camps, and all three of the went on separate mission trips.

I know some of you are rolling your eyes, mumbling things like, "Well you're a teacher.  You've got it made.  You have holidays and summers off.  How are you so busy?  Bless your heart."

[You can't see me sticking out my tongue so just imagine that part.]

Here is the thing...we've had some serious stuff that happened within a matter of a few weeks....

• Molly had the accident in the kitchen.  I still cannot allow myself to think about what could have happened.  The only reason her whole head was not engulfed in flames or Gabe and Emma were not burned is because God provided a hedge of protection around her.  There is no other explanation.  I don't believe in luck. She should have been burned and she wasn't except on her hand.  God. Is. Good.
• Craig, Molly, and Cooper were all out of the country at the same time which left Emma, Gabe, and me to deal with all the fire clean up.
• Craig and Molly returned from Honduras on Friday and the next Monday Craig had what turned out to be major surgery.  He went in for a routine appendectomy and ended up spending four days in the hospital. [I keep telling you people that nothing is easy with Craig!]  
• While Craig was recovering, football was starting for Cooper. [And Cooper gets super ill when he is tired.]
• All during this time I am trying to prepare Molly for college.  Craig wasn't able to help at all. And for the first time, as we packed her car, I was realizing how tough her moving out was going to be. I cried a lot of tears behind closed doors.  
• Gabe and Emma were just forced, during all of this, to just deal with it. They were stressed out too. 

No. None of us are facing life threatening illnesses.  We have good jobs and we don't need for a thing [well except some exercise but that's another day].  

But my family has had some extenuating circumstances that have created stress in our lives that has just built up and up and up.  

This little vacation has given us some much needed time to reconnect.  We've done just what we wanted to do [and a lot of eating] and a whole lot of nothing too. 

We rode through a Christmas light show at the Pelican's ballpark.  Craig and Cooper took selfies and Emma and Gabe stood in the sunroof.  [Molly and I acted like the normal ones in the family.]  We shopped at the outlets in the rain [and bought nothing]. 

Craig and I found this fabulous popcorn place. [We are simple people.  We love simple things. Popcorn is simple.]  We bought the Chicago mix and some Ho, Ho, Ho mix [it is Christmas].  We also spent some time talking to the owners. Of course, she left teaching to make popcorn.  He walked away from being an accountant. Hmmm....sounds like a plan....

We found an outdoor drama about the night Jesus was born at a local church so we visited.  It was awesome!  Gabe was so amazed.  I love his innocent spirit. He flinched at the Roman guards, he listened intently as the merchants in Bethlehem shared their skills, and he was in awe when he saw baby Jesus in the manger.  We also visited this same church for Sunday service.  As we sang Chris Tomlin's version of Joy to the World I just looked down the line of Shorties in awe.  

Unspeakable joy! 

This life, right now, is just where I want to be.  

I love my family. 

I love the time that God has given us to just be together. We've watched movies and eaten popcorn.  We played Heads Up and laughed at each other.  We've taken naps, stayed up late, and sat in our pajamas all day.  And yes, we found the best local Mexican dive for our one dinner out. [We love Mexican food.]

This is what Christmas is about...joy!

Unspeakable joy!

You surprised to see us Clark?

Ahhhh...the joys of Christmas.  

The Christmas tree.

We got our tree the night before Thanksgiving and decorated it Thanksgiving night.   [I use "we" loosely. I decorated while the others watched.] Gabe was put in charge of watering it.  Little did we know, the tree stand [that I am pretty sure we've had since the better part of forever] had the slightest crack in the bottom.  

Gabe wasn't watering the tree [sometimes 4 times a day because, in his words, "that tree must be drinking a lot of water"] but watering the carpet.  And the subfloor.  Now, almost three weeks later, that same area is bowed up.  

Water is not our friend.  Remember the bathroom incident with the leaking pipe [behind the wall] that caused us an entirely new bathroom floor and vanity? And the pipe under the kitchen sink that popped at 7:15 on a school morning?   

The stockings.

When we moved here I was thrilled to finally have a mantel on which to hang stockings.  [I'm simple.] For years I've wanted to make us matching stockings. My family nearly had [what we call in the South] a conniption.  

"What about our old stockings?"
"How will Santa know?"
"I won't use the new one."

Geez!  Can't a woman have a Pinterest moment and just make some new stockings out of the burlap and chevron she has without someone throwing a rod?  

Yes, in fact, she can.  And she did.  But it was not without some what I like to term "small issues" [AKA I-really-can't-sew-and-it-takes-me-three-times-as-long-as-the-average-sewing-lady]. 

I couldn't get the heel patch matched up on the first one. 
I couldn't get the two to close on one of them.
I sewed one shut. [That one is Craig's.]

Finally, after a week [and more than one ripped seam] I did manage to complete them.  

And the others are hung on the weird banister we have in the living room.

With care.

The elf.

[Usually not on the shelf but sitting where I left him the day before.  Or three days before.  I lost count.]

I like the elf.  
My babies think it is cool.  
Molly and Cooper thinks it is creepy.
Craig doesn't care if it ever gets moved.

Buddy [we thrive on originality in this house] has been in the fridge, a kitchen drawer, a mason jar, in the ceiling fan, roasting marshmallows, and a few other places.  

Thank goodness Molly is home.  She has elf duty. [Ha ha ha! I just said duty.]

The cards.

We are so over cute Christmas cards [and that would be mainly because my kids hate to actually pose for one].  

Last year we did a redneck Christmas and used some lines from Merry Christmas from the Family. [It wasn't really hard for us to act be redneck.] 

This year we....
[I can't tell you. That would ruin the surprise. Or add extra nightmares with the anticipation.]  Once I get them mailed out I will post them.  But lets just say that we were All Shook Up....

My Jesus.

The Birth of Jesus Luke 2:1-20 

"In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world.  (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to their own town to register. So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.  He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.  An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven 

and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.  When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Jesus. 

The Son of God.

Sent to save a wretch like me.  

Billy Graham wrote this about Christmas: 

Visitors to our home at Christmas are sometimes startled when I read the tragic story from the Old Testament before an evening of carols.

“Aren’t these grim thoughts for this happy time of year?” they ask. “The season of Jesus’s birth is no time to talk of death. What do Adam and Eve have to do with Christmas?”

To which we answer: Everything. Without the story of sin in the Old Testament, what can the Good News of the New Testament say? Without sin, we have no need of a Savior. We cannot separate our joy at Christ’s coming from our desperate need for Him. Unless we have witnessed the tragedy of man’s separation from God through the millennia before Bethlehem, then the birth of a baby in a stable is just that for us, no more.

Nor can we separate His birth from the work He came to earth to do. Without His death, His birth has no meaning. The birth without the Cross is a gift half-given. Many would rather not think of the Cross at Christmastime. They take the angels’ song, but reject all that it implies. In doing this, they rob themselves of the full joy of Christmas.

My Thoughts

Romans 1:16 For I am not ashamed of the gospel.

I am not ashamed to defend my beliefs as a Christian.

I choose to put up a nativity scene [or three] in my house because it reminds me that Jesus came as the propitiation [He took the wrath of God] for my sins. 

I choose to recognize that we celebrate Jesus' birth on December 25th but I know that the true date of his birth is thought to be months later.  Why does that even matter to people? 

Here is a comment found on Facebook: If you want to be technical about it, Christmas was originally a pagan holiday and is NOT the date of Jesus' birth. The Catholic church hijacked the holiday. [Hijacked is such a strong verb here. Was there specific rights to this date or something?] 

I did a little bit of research [have I ever mentioned how much I detest history?] and I did find some interesting information from this website:

In the end we are left with a question: How did December 25 become Christmas? We cannot be entirely sure. Elements of the festival that developed from the fourth century until modern times may well derive from pagan traditions. Yet the actual date might really derive more from Judaism—from Jesus’ death at Passover, and from the rabbinic notion that great things might be expected, again and again, at the same time of the year—than from paganism.

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs.  That's cool if you and I do that whole proverbial "agree to disagree" thing.  I get it.   

However...

Revelation 3:16 "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth."

Be one way or the other.  Don't proclaim to be a Christian then throw your support for things that are not scripturally sound.  

1 Peter 3:14 "But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;"

Yes. As Christians we are called to extend mercy and grace and compassion and love to everyone.  That doesn't include judgement over differences.  

We are also called to make a defense for why we have the hope in Christ that we do. And we are asked to do that boldly.  I cannot do that by supporting things that go against what the Bible says just because the world says I should. 

   I John 4:4-6  "You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood"   

I've seen the word "offended" a great deal when I've read statements about Christians and our apparent sneak attack on Christmas.  

I'm not offended if someone says "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."  

I'm not offended if you choose to support removing the nativity scene from Dallas. 

I'm not offended if you don't eat at Chic-Fil-A anymore. 

For those of you that are so convinced that us Christians have this attitude, do you really think that Christians just walk around with hurt feelings because you defended your position [as the Facebook trolls that love to bash the holier than thou leave mega comments and epistles on all the reasons why them religious nuts have it wrong]?  

Oh that's right...I forgot that when Christians do defend their beliefs then we are being overbearing, pretentious, and generally close-minded because we disagree with others who do not share our beliefs.  Those huge windows of peace, love, and freedom of speech, religion, etc. seem to close when the "Bible thumpers" bring it.      

Hmmm..pot please meet kettle.  It seems that generally close-minded, overbearing, and pretentious can apply to anyone.     

I make my choices and you make your choices.  

You choose to stand on one side of the fence and defend your cause while I choose to stand on the other and defend mine.  

But, as a Christian, there is no sitting on the fence.