Why Shower and Other Summer Time Musings from Gabe

My youngest two just returned yesterday from camp with the kids from church. This was Emma's 4th year going and Gabe's first.

The youngest two are exactly that: the youngest. 

They rarely keep anything clean [their rooms, their shoes, their faces] because they've had so many people catering to them all of their lives.  Sometimes we've done it out of necessity [like it is necessary for me to gut your room because it appears you are one step from making an appearance on Hoarders] and sometimes just because they are the youngest and spoiled. [Actually, I think both of those statements said the same thing.]

Now I am not the queen of organization. [I mean, I am the queen of most everything else around here....] Ask Craig - that ship sailed a long time ago. [Honestly, I'm quite sure it never docked here anyway.]  A little clutter is ok with me [some of you just took a knee while others hyperventilate] so I don't get too upset when their rooms have some clutter.

But when your room appears as if someone backed a large cannon into the doorway and KABOOMED every thing you own [underwear, crayons, baby dolls, Legos, last week's wet bathing suit, 5 socks, and an empty Cheetos bag to name a few] all over your door, walls, bed, dresser, closet, etc. then it is time to clean up.

That is Emma and Gabe in a nutshell. [Which makes Craig go nuts.]  

But they are always clean. As in bathing every single day. And washing hands. And brushing teeth. They might be super messy kids but personal hygiene has been taught and is practiced at my house.

So you can imagine the horror I felt yesterday when Emma said this:
Gabe hasn't had a shower since Monday.

It was Wednesday. 
He'd been swimming in a lake.
Playing outside.
Wearing bug spray.
Being a boy.

I could have beat him. Right there in the church parking lot. [Incidentally, that isn't the first time I've made that statement on here or out loud.]

To make matters worse, I'm not sure he changed his clothes much.  When he brought me his dirty stack, there weren't many.  

I'm just trying not to think about it. [Seriously.] Next year I will save myself the trouble and just send him out the door with his Bible and a smile.

Last night he wanted to shoot Cooper's BB gun in the backyard.

We live in a residential neighborhood. [I mean, our neighbors at the back corner of the yard cuss like sailors, sing David Allen Coe for all of Heaven to hear, and play horseshoes at 3am but I don't want to shoot them.  Not all of the time anyway.]

Me: Gabe we can't do that here.  We will have to go down to the practice field at the high school and shoot into the woods.
Gabe: But I won't shoot anyone mom.
Me: We can't shoot near the houses honey.
Gabe: Well that is stupid.

This morning he was full of questions.

Gabe: What if flying geese poop could fly?
Me: Flying geese do poop and fly. And poop while flying.
Gabe: No. I mean, what if flying geese had poop that could fly?  What if they had flying poop?

I pray now for the 3rd grade teacher he will have this year. 

I pray now for the woman that will marry him one day.

Older....Not Sure About Wiser

I am 40. Yes, I belong to the 40 and over club.  I just turned 40.  No matter how I state that fact it doesn't make me feel any younger or better about getting older. I suppose I should really get over it right? [Shut up. Who asked you anyway?] 

I realized just how old Cooper believes 40 is after this lovely conversation:
Coop: So and so [he named some random NBA player but I have no clue who it was] is still playing at his age?
Me: How old is he?
Coop: He's like 42!
Well dig that man a grave and shove his other foot in since he apparently already has one foot in as he lays on his deathbed of old age!  42 is old?  I suppose when you are 14 then the answer is a yes, 42 is old. [That does not mean I need to be reminded, constantly.]

Pinterest and Twitter and the news [media in general] is not doing me any favors either.  I should become a recluse.  Every time I look, there's a fabulous looking 50 year old woman, a stunning mother of 4 that runs marathons, or one of those stay at home mom types that does the spa and the Y while the little tykes go to mother's morning out.  I look and feel like an overweight, mother of 4, with dyed hair to cover the gray, who apparently raided her grandmother's closet and sense of fashion.  Are these people I see, who seem to have it all together with looks, fashion, and health real people, with real families, and real jobs and real responsibilities?  I get to school and by 8:05am [which is sometimes when I actually get to school] and I am looking like I've worked 24 hours already.  What is the secret because I am willing to knock off a bank to pay for it right about now. [Seriously.  That was not a joke.] 

I had big plans for myself at this point and looking like a tired old hag was not on that list. [You know that is funny so go ahead and laugh as you shake your head in agreement.] I had to see the doctor today about my shoulder.  It has been aching for months and months.  I wish I could say it was from all the weights I lifted or that spin class accident or too much swimming but I am sure diving for the Doritoes or too much lifting of the ice cream is probably more fitting for me.  I am hoping for something that is easy to fix and I can start sleeping at night without shooting pain in my shoulder and arm.  The verdict? Arthritis and bursitis.  I am sorry, but when you start getting diagnosed with ailments that end with -itis then you've hit old age.  When the remedy is a shot of cortisone then you've sealed the deal. And to top it all off [yes, there is more]  my blood pressure is up. [I will now be recieving my mail at the local retirement village and buying all of my polyester at the new Hamrick's in Gastonia.]

So there you have it folks.  You've waited almost a month for this sloppy pity party and self loathing.  It will all be OK [as soon as I hit the lottery to pay for that complete makeover I need or find that fountain of youth Captain Jack stumbled upon] and I am the only one that can change all of this for me [well, the health part but I will continue to be poor and poorly dressed ~ it's in the title: 2 teachers rasising 4 kids on a little money and a lot of faith ~ pay attention!].  On a serious note [who needs to be serious?], I do need to watch the blood pressure and get myself back in shape. [OK. I heard you.  No need to beat me over the head with it old.  I got it.  I will have to fight you myself.]  

One of my favorite songs, by Sick Puppies [maybe my choice of music is the root of my issues] is titled, "You're Going Down" and a line in it says, "Cause I was never the one going down, you're the one going down."  That's what I say to being 40 and feeling old - One of us is going down and it's NOT going to be me.  I will keep you posted.  [I know some of you are saying, "Liar. You've said this before." It's not nice to call people names.] I realized how easily this amazing life could all be taken away from me by not taking care of myself.  I have too many precious people in my life that need me. So, stay tuned. [A few words of encouragement wouldn't hurt my feelings either.] 

The Shorties are all doing very well :) Softball season is going well for my favorite coach and my sweet Molly.  We are already talking about college and have visited one [private colleges are way down the list after the financial meeting] with a few more visits in the next couple of weeks. Can it already be time to talk about college? Say it ain't so!  Word of advice for those of you with little ones - once you go to middle school life hits fast forward and it's hard to make it stop.  CHERISH EVERY MINUTE! Trust me on that one.

Cooper is finishing up his last quarter as a middle schooler.  Scary thought that he'll be driving by Christmas.  Yes. The boy is still a nut. He was mortified that I, as his mother, did not know there is apparently a rather distinct division between DC Comics superheroes and Marvel Comics superheroes.  [I guess I get my my cool mom of forever card revoked.] These two groups of superheroes do not fraternize.  There are no DC/Marvel sleepovers. They do not dine together.  [Are they real or did I miss something? Better question: Do I really care? No fits both of those questions.]  Cooper and I are decorating a table for the parade of tables fundraiser at our church with the theme of "Jesus is my Superhero." I don't profess to know much but I do know Batman, Robin, or the Green Lantern will not be in attendance.

Emma continues to be my sweet hip baby.  She has planned a summer trip to the Cabbage Patch Hospital in Georgia for us this summer.  I can hardly wait! She is beginning piano lessons tomorrow afternoon.  She is super excited.  She is going to be the artsy fartsy of the brood.  I will finally have someone that will enjoy show tunes and Broadway musicals. [I took Molly to see Wicked and she loved it.  However, she was a little caught off guard that they sang so much at the beginning.  Bless.  Love her but that is something that comes from her daddy.  I took him to see Rent.  One act in to it he leans over and says, "Are they going to sing the entire time 'cause I can't understand anything!" I am guessing the term "musical" is secretly kept from some folks.] Love that sweet baby girl.  I can hardly wait to hear her tickle the ivories with one of those big flowers in her hair!!

Then there is Gabe.  He continues to be the most stubborn, hard headed youngin' in the history of planet Earth.  Tonight he took his shoe off and placed it right where everyone puts their shoes - on the kitchen counter.  He couldn't understand why I would yell at him to move it off the counter.  He and Emma are in the fun run on Saturday.  He told me tonight that he better start training for that tomorrow. I could only laugh but loved his logic.  His teacher puts them on a Kindergarten list or a 1st grade list based on their behavior everyday - he waffles between the two list and he is fine knowing this information. "Ah,  well sometimes I feel like acting like I am ready for first grade and sometimes I don't feel like it." What can you say? 

I do have some prayer requests and I've made a spot for these requests in the pages section. Please join me in prayer for these people and situations. 

As always, even after turning 40, life as a Short is just awesome:)

I Blinded Them with Science

Emma loves, loves, loves science. [Craig suckered the oldest two into thinking history *YAWN* is where "its" at when they were still impressionable and now they are ruined.]  Several weeks ago she took some wine bottles that I've collected and made music with them.  [Before you go there...nothing wrong with anyone who chooses to drink wine but the bottles are not mine.  I'm more like a pot of coffee kind of girl.]  She filled each bottle with different water levels then blew over the top of them to hear the different sounds. [I must confess that I helped her.] And as always with Emma she is dressed to impress. 







Molly went for a try out for a new softball team tonight.  By two days she will be too old to play on the team she is currently on and will have to move up to an 18U team. Of course, because there is a disc golf course at Crest, where the try out was held, Coop had to go.  This left the babes and I to cook dinner, make fondant [yes, that's right...I made cake fondant...from scratch] , bake a cake [for the HOMEMADE fondant] , and do a little science.  Our first experiment was making tie dyed milk.  

This is what the milk looks like in the plate BEFORE tie dying it.





And this is AFTER tie dying it.  Gabe was amazed.

After tie dying milk [because you never know when that will come in handy] we decided to make gak.  It is fun but messy.  It actually took us two times [and two entire bottles of glue] before we got it right.  This is Emma [posing, in her pearls and fancy headband] with her gak. 



We had fun.  I will say, though, that the stick-in-the-mud-history-is-fab folks [aka Molly, Coop, and Short] were not very impressed.  "Yeah, that's nice." Pooh on them...we had fun.

As always, life as the Scientific Shorties is good:)



Some of My Favorite Things About DC

Well our week of vacation is coming to an end.  What an adventure we've been on!  Here are some of my favorite things about DC:

• The National Archives ~ Everyone should take a trip to see these documents at least once!  I'm no history geek [though I am married to a pretty cool one] but I loved seeing the things there were in there.  I was able to look at the real US Constitution...that is just amazing!  Not to mention the very cool museum section in the back.  I didn't realize so much stuff was housed at the archives. 

Shorties on the Archives steps

• Arlington Cemetary ~ I think my family has an obsession with cemetaries. A few summers ago we took the time to hang out at the Sunset Cemetary in Shelby a few times. [Yes, we hang out in cemetaries.  Don't judge us.] It's just cool to look at headstones and imagine what the lives of the people buried beneath them was like.  We like to look for the oldest headstones.  Arlington is just amazing and humbling. 

View from Lee's house at Arlington

• The Space Shuttle ~ I was never able to see a shuttle liftoff in person. My dad took us to see one in 1988 and 31 seconds before liftoff the mission was scrubbed.  31 SECONDS!  That is as close as I've ever come.  I've seen the shuttle sitting on the launch pad but that's it.  Yesterday I was close enough to touch [I didn't touch it but I wanted to] the Shuttle Discovery.  Wow!!! My geek meter went to yeeeee hawwww!!  It was just one of the coolest things ever!  I took a gazillion pictures.

Yeah for the Shuttle!!

• The Enola Gay ~ I was right next to the plan that dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima.  That was just very cool to actually see this piece of history.  Amazing to look at it's cargo hold and know that is where the bomb was dropped. [Not that I am a huge fan of bombs and death but just the sheer fact that this was the actual plane was cool.]

I loved seeing this up close!

• Monuments at night ~ I will be honest, I wasn't expecting this to be such a neat sight but I am so glad we went.  I especially loved seeing the Lincoln Memorial and the WWII Memorial lit up at night.  They are amazing during the day but illuminated they were spectacular.

But, by far, my most favorite thing about DC was spending time with my family.  We were together 100% of the time and it was SO MUCH FUN!  Not that I didn't already know this but I am so very blessed....I can't even describe it.  God has given me the opportunity to do many things in my life but this family vacation is the pinnacle.  We truly had the very best time.



Not to get all history teacher on ya but EVERYONE should visit DC sometime in their life.  There is so much to do, most of it is free, and the sights are worth the drive.  My kids LOVED it and Molly and Coop were on their third trip.  Emma was just at a really good age to enjoy it and understand.  Gabe was constantly in sensory overload - he couldn't wait to see the bookstore or gift shop to spend his lemonade stand money!   

Dorky I know...but it does look like she's holding the Washington Monument :)



We love Mr. Lincoln...can ya tell?

We took one last chance to see some things at Manassas Battlefield that we didn't get to see last Sunday.  [No, the porta john is not historical.  At least I don't think it is...]  Cooper had to go so we took the opportunity to pull the car right up to the door.  We found it so funny that we took pictures and video from our point of view. [Doesn't take much to entertain us...we is simple folks.]

Classic!!

This was just a fantastic vacation - Go to Washington DC!!  As always, all the way from Richmond, life is awesome :)

MAN-A$$-AS

Surprisingly [especially to those of you that know us well] we left right on schedule this morning.  The kiddos were more than excited.  In fact, we'd not even made it to 85 from 74 when Gabe said, "How many more minutes daddy?"  The excitement quickly waned and this is the result :)


Love that sweet mouth ♥



Not quite all the way asleep but quiet for the first time :)



Sweet girl ♥

And of course we can't forget DJ Coop!

My favorite coach ♥


About 15 minutes from Manassas, [or MAN-ASS-AS as Craig says it in chunks and as Gabe later repeated, "Are going to see a lot of asses here?"  Thanks Craig] the hotel calls to tell us we've been walked.  Now for those of you that travel a lot you may well know what the heck that meant.  However, to me, the girl who made and PAID for the reservations in FEBRUARY I was a little more than ticked off.  We arrived at the hotel to be booted to another one ~ WAY NICER :) We win!! 

Our first adventure was to Manassas [MAN-ASS-AS] Battlefield.  Short was loving this!!!  It was really cool and I had a great time watching the kids.  We decided to get Emma and Gabe some small Fuji disposable cameras for the trip.  We will have at least 10 pictures of the same thing from each of them.  I don't care - they totally loved taking pictures!!

Henry House where a poor old soul was killed in the crossfire - still standing at its originial spot.

Stonewall Jackson - This statue is pretty big!

Pointing to how Stonewall got his nickname



Ummmmm.....getting up at 4am is for the birds....He was so super tired!!



We didn't get to see much at the battlefield due to a huge thunderstorm that came bustin' up through Manassas [MAN-ASS-AS] so we are making plans to go back to see what we missed. It wouldn't be a redneck vacation if you didn't visit the Wal Mart now would it? We found one - IN A MALL - and this was the biggest Wal Mart I've ever seen [and I don't have to tell ya that I have frequented a Wal Mart or 10 in my time] and full of people - EVERYWHERE.  We got our groceries, ate, took showers [we smelled], then let the babies swim. 

Gearing up for day 2....more tomorrow!  As always, life as a Short is just plain AwEsOmE!!

Hoarding, Hobbies, and Having it All

I've said it often that Emma is going to end up in a tattoo parlor when she gets older [16, 17, 18 years old...] but after spending over an hour in her room, cleaning up, I am convinced she will be on that show for hoarders.  God bless the sweet little thing but she keeps EVERYTHING!  She had small piles of stuff all over her dresser [that was clean if you lived in her world] and the pajama/undies/sock drawer of her dresser wouldn't even shut.  It is a work in progress.  I have to cover the lovely Sharpie drawing that Gabe left her when I was out of town last year [which makes me think...where was her daddy when the babe had a Sharpie marker?].  I am going to make her a chalk board on the wall and all of my time on Pinterest has paid off...I found a DIY chalkboard paint recipe.  I have plans for creating her an art center using metal flashing [I am not a heating and air chick but I do play one on TV] so hopefully this will help her get and stay organized [I'm not holding my breath but it's worth a shot]. We even went so far as to hang up an outfit for every school day, complete with a tag for that day. [Pinterest is just awesome:)] I love her....she's my Flossie ♥

Can I just say how very much I am in love with Craig Hobby Lobby? I made Gabe, Coop, and one of Coop's friends go with me today after a trip to Dick's Sporting Goods.  I mean I could spend HOURS in there...seriously.  I don't often get to go anywhere alone [yes, even the bathroom....I have four kids and they find me] so when Coop and his crew hit the car [1.2 seconds after we entered], I took advantage of it and spent some time looking around.  I ended up with the letter S [I will share later what I'll be crafting with it], some of this E6000 glue all these craft blogs talk about, some hair clips, and shiny gems to make Emma some hair bows.  However, I saw a TON of things I'd like to have for the house and those will happen. 

I went to look around in the local thrift shops around town on Saturday.  I found an end table [circa 1970ish] that I really want.  Its $12.  I have plans to make Emma a small art table for her things so with some paint, some Mod Podge, some vintage Hawaiian post cards, and $12 I'm gonna have me an art table. [I seriously could make this a career.  Not sure how I would make it a career but I am sure somebody would want something I made. Now just to talk Short into this idea.....]. 

Prayers requested for some things that cannot be discussed in public.  No one is sick, there aren't any problems on the homefront, and the job situation is A-OK for both of us.  I just ask for prayers for peace, understanding, and most of all, wisdom to make decisions that are not easy.

We spent some time with my parents and my sister and her family on Saturday night.  My dad cooked hamburgers and hotdogs and then we roasted marshmallows and made s'mores.  We had the best time!  Mom, Dad, Craig, and I ended up sitting around the fire, trading laughs and talking.  The kids would come and go [mostly go b/c they were cold].  I realized [not that I haven't before now] how very blessed I am.  Having it all doesn't mean having the stuff and I'm content with what I have.   I have four healthy and amazing [like their momma] children, I have a wonderful marriage with a man who is Godly and my best friend, I have the best job in the world because I get to laugh all day and teach science [yeah for being a dork], I have a family that loves, supports, and encourages me, I am able to worship in public without fear, and I am a Jesus freak.  My house, my cars, my "stuff" really doesn't even enter into that  happiness.  I am blessed to have a nice house and cars but I am not going to put all of my happiness in the stuff that doesn't define me.  Having it all is awesome ♥

As always, life as a Short is good.
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Believe ♥

I realized last night that I wrote a pretty sarcastic Christmas letter LAST year so I'm guessing another post like that would be no fun.However, not to disappoint, I do have the word BELIEVE sitting on my mantel so I thought I would share some of the things I believe in [starting with IVs of diet Sundrop from vending machines and sarcasm].

I


....that dreams really do come true [I knew if I put that one first it would really get you].
....teachers should make as much money as doctors, lawyers, and the post master.
....that middle schoolers say some of the most off the wall and crazy things and yet we still love them.
....in the discipline of children when they make the wrong choices [My daddy never hesitated to let me know he believed in it so why should my kids miss out?].
....that petty people deserve each other but should leave the rest of us that don't appreciate their "pettyness" alone.
....that raising children, in the world today, is the most difficult job anyone could ever have.
....love can conquer anything.
....that you should laugh, out loud, every single day.
....everyone needs to find a cause, a charity, an organization to put their time and money into so that others who are less fortunate or in need will know that God's people really do care.
...Skittles should be added as their own unique food group: food that taste like rainbows.
...having a live Christmas tree makes my house smell really "Christmasy".
...that if you are going to talk ugly about  my children then you better bring your big stick and an army 'cause there is going to be a fight.
....Dr. Seuss had it all figured out.
....that no matter how many times you tell [and threaten] Emma to pick up her room she ain't gonna do it.
....that it is impossible to keep the kitchen counter cleaned off.
....if I really, really trained hard I could be an excellent triathlete.
....Facebook should come with a warning that what comes up does not have to come out [in other words, we don't really need to hear about your husband's cheating ways, how you've been throwing up for three days, or about the fact that you hate our President.]
....Christmas is the best time of year.
....college basketball season makes some people super crazy.
....complaining over things that are beyond our control is a waste of time that you could be used to make someone's day easier.
....like Whitney sang, that children are our future.
.....one day there will a cure for awful diseases like cancer - God has a plan:)
.....as Marilyn said, "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
....Craig is my soul mate and that he hung the moon.
....high school football is one of my favorite things to watch and be a part of every fall.
....being a teacher might be the very best job in the world and that I have some of the best co-workers and friends that a person could ever have.
....my Granny was a saint and is keeping all of Heaven stocked with Little Debbie Cakes.
....I belong to the best immediate, extended, and married family to ever walk the face of this Earth.
....that Christmas Vacation should go down as one of the absolute best and most realistic Christmas movies ever ["Save the neck for me Clark."]
....that First Baptist Church of KM has some of the most caring, giving, and loving people in the world as members.
....that we live in this house because God wanted us to know that when He closes doors He always has a plan.
.....my mom and dad are the finest folks around and that they are a huge part of my life today and always.
....that reading books can take you on some of the greatest adventures you'll ever know.
....that I might one of the biggest nerds around ~ and that's just the way I like it.
....that I have some of the very best friends in the world and I love them dearly.
....being around women of faith has changed my life.
....that God's voice spoke to me at MFuge and changed my life for the better.
....Tim Tebow will change the game of football in such a powerful way that we cannot even begin to imagine how God will work.
....that anyone that does not believe that there is a God and that He loves us has never witnessed the birth of a child, seen Moraine Lake in Canada, or ever recognized a miracle in their life.
....that sometimes being the bigger person is tough but necessary.
....God sent Molly and Cooper first because He knew how challenging Emma and Gabe would be when they came along :)
....that my sister is one of the strongest and amazing people that I know and I love her.
....that UNC > DOOK.
....the Colts are going to make it back to Super Bowl contention soon...with any "Luck".
....dark chocolate far outweighs any other kind of chocolate.
....bacon really does make anything taste better.
....Friday Night Lights was one of the best TV shows EVER.
....doing something to make someone's life better really makes me feel good.

I believe that Jesus was sent to save us from our sins.  I believe that God's amazing and abundant blessings should be enjoyed and shared.  I believe that God has huge plans for my life and for the lives of my children.  I believe that prayer is always the answer no matter what the question. 

As always, I believe life as a Short couldn't be any better. 

Baked Beans and Car Keys

I lost my keys today. [If you lived here you would understand that this is a weekly daily occurence.]  Craig's answer? [As if I'm really listening....let's be honest here.] "If you'd put them in the same place every night then you wouldn't have this problem."  Well that is just boring [and completely logical] and I like adventure [and pulling out my hair at 7:30am each day].   One time [absolutely, 100% true story] I lost them in my first grade classroom.  My first job was teaching first grade [incidentally, it was also almost my last job teaching because it was NOT a good experience.....bless those poor little children that had me as the teacher] and I lost my keys in my classroom.  I had NO clue, at all, where they could be.  I really thought I had either thrown them away or one of the rugrats [I use that term with adoration and affection] had picked them up and put them somewhere in the room.  I looked and looked and looked and looked and looked some more.  Finally, I gave up and called Craig [I'm pretty sure he said something to the effect of, "*&^$#_+" before he hung up on me] and he came to pick me up.  Fast forward about a week later when I pull some random teacher guide off my shelf and BINGO!  There I find my keys in the book.   Apparently I'd had the book out on my desk [which is absolutely, 100% always never free of clutter], sat my keys down in the book, closed it, and put it on the shelf.  Another time I put them in a different spot in my closet at school.  You guessed it - I couldn't find them to save my life.  What is funny is that I was actually looking at them but didn't see them.  [Live in my world a while then you'd understand.]  Another time, when living in the "papartment" they fell into the couch.  Not between the cushions or under the couch but actually in the couch.  The back of the couch was ripped and, just as luck would have it, my keys fell down into the couch. [What is even more strange is that I finally, after a week, thought to look there.]

Today's adventure actually began on Sunday.  Emma's baptism was Sunday so we invited ALL of our family over for BBQ and the fixins.  My mom had this huge can of baked beans [I mean HUGE] which also required an enormous can opener. 

I figured there would be one in the church so I, the person who cannot EVER find her keys or cell phone, decided I would simply [I use that term lightly] open the can up, put the beans in a pan, then in my car, then on to Sunday school so that I could just pop them in the oven after church.  Wrong....the can had other plans.  I ended up with a chest full of baked bean juice [which is gross anyway but super gross when it ended up...ummmm....right in "the middle"] with no time to spare before church....Thank goodness for zebra striped sweaters.  Finally, at the end of the service my daddy was able to get this ginormous can of beans open and in my car they went - Literally.  Now, I had baked beans juice on my chest, my sweater, my arms and my car!  I don't even like baked beans - at all!!  I get these beans home, cook them, and let the family partake of them.  However, I forgot one little detail - I spilled those devil beans in my car.  [I know that is a shocker considering, that on a daily basis, I lose my car keys.]  I remembered this morning when I noticed Cooper and Will covering their noses while waiting on me.  Yeah...we rode to school with the windows down as I IMMEDIATELY regretted forgetting to clean up those blasted baked beans. 

In my haste to exit the car before I needed respiratory assistance [or started smelling like "Ode to Baked Beans"] I left my keys in the car ignition.  That's right, the ignition.  Not just in there, with it turned off, but apparently I left the key in the "on" position....you know that one you put it on when you are sitting in your car listening to  the end of Ice, Ice Baby or Goin' Back to Cali [or is that just me?] when you get home.  I am sure there was some sort of noise or ding to indicate my keys were still in the ignition...causing the battery to still be engaged...but yeah, I didn't pay it attention [total shocker I know]. Honestly, the thought that I was sucking the life out of a $145 battery or the fact that I didn't have my keys never crossed my mind until it was time to get Gabe to the dentist, in the pouring rain...I searched my room [even looking in books] for my keys 3 times before going to the car.....to find my keys.  I had to find someone with jumper cables, in the pouring rain, to jump start my car.  That sucker was so dead I had to reset the radio with some code [that incidentally is neatly tucked in my glove compartment].  Gabe made it to the dentist, dripping wet [and chewing his gum], and late to get his "silver star" aka filling for a tiny cavity in a molar.  Needless to say, I was glad to see my little house and tiny couch at the end of this crazy day....what an adventure.

Emma informed me that she understands why my eyesight is so bad and that would be because I am "older".  Maybe the bad eyesight, getting older, and just generally be a doofus would explain a lot of things about me.....

As always, from my house to yours, have a wonderific week :) Life is really, really good. 

T. Swizzle ♥ and Things that Amaze Me

I am taking my girls to see Taylor Swift tomorrow night [T. Swizzle] and I must say that I'm a little excited myself.  I love concerts [I have even seen Milli Vanilli and they weren't even singing] and this one will be a first for Emma K.  We've had our tickets since LAST November so it's been a very long wait for the smallest Short chick.  Right now, she and Molly are making T-shirts to wear tomorrow night.  Our plan is to meet some girls from church, eat, and rock out!  We are taking Thursday off. [Yes, I am a horrible mother, who is also a teacher, and I am letting my girls miss a day of school to sleep...judge me...I don't care.]  Considering the anxiety over this past week I can truly say that I'm just ready to relax and enjoy my Moo and Flossie in all their girly glory :)

I guess it's the dork in me [I can admit my dorkiness] but I love finding stuff and showing my classes at school.  If we have five minutes at the end of class then I try to find something neat or different to show my classes.  For instance, I was on msnbc.com when I found this video:


I just think that is such a neat video.  [I had to look up murmuration.  It's a group of starlings. Now you learned something new today - check that off your list.]  It's a simple video that really has zip to do with what we are studying but a teachable moment.  It took two whole minutes and every single kid was watching it.  Pretty cool I think :)

Another fave is optical illusions.  Again, I don't spend my ENTIRE class with these but any extra 3 to 4 minutes we might have at the end of class:

Sometimes, we even do brain games like word winks.  [I told you many, many, many times that I am a dork.  This absolutely solidifies that fact doesn't it?]

I just think that getting my students interested in thinking about thinking [that would be metacognition for those of you shakin' your noggins] and interested in all things science then it makes it easier for me to teach.  Does that mean that they are all, 100% of the time, interested in everything we do? [Can I say yes and leave it at that?]  Nope - and that's OK.  I'm not going to make scientists out of all of them but if some of them leave my class with a little spark then the effort [and dorkiness] is well worth it.

Other things besides these obviously nerdy ones that amaze me?  Penn State [but not in a good way] and all that has happened there and the stuff that is yet to come out.  Sad.  I am amazed that sometimes people forgo their moral obligations to climb the tower of success.  I, like many of you, am sickened at the new revelations that come out each day.  We should all pray for this situation.

On the upside, I am amazed at my children.  I love to see Emma and Gabe play Just Dance on the Wii.  I love to talk about "the boy" with Molly and watch her eyes sparkle. [Yes...she really likes him and I'm pretty sure he likes her but again, awkward is how I would describe this relationship.]  I love to hear Cooper tell us Chuck Norris jokes. [I never imagined there would be so many though...]

I am amazed at the fact that I only spent $138 for $290 groceries.  [No I will not be one of those people who kicks their third child out of their bedroom to make way for 945 boxes of spaghetti, 389 cans of clam chowder, and 2,367 Reach toothbrushes.]  I honestly am hooked.  I am finding coupons all over the place to use.  I am already making out my grocery list for this next week.  [Yes, I have one of those notebooks.  Shut it.]

I am amazed at God's presence and grace ALL around me [if grace is an ocean then we're all sinking ♥] especially when I am so undeserving [that would be every day of my life].  I am amazed at the number of people, just today, who said, "I am praying for your daughter" and "If you need anything please let me know" and "Mrs. Short I just wanted you to know that I put Emma on the prayer list at my Bible study yesterday."  I am so blessed to have this amazing job with so many wonderful people that do not hesitate to stop and lift up prayers for my family.  I am amazed that we, the six of us Shorties, are part of such a large, caring, and giving family. 

I am amazed at the book of Revelation.  I am doing this awesome Bible study with a group of women from my church about this book of the Bible and it is fascinating.  It is such an in depth study of God's word and I am thrilled to be a part of it.  [Just another reason that finding and being invovled in a church is so important everyone.] 

I am amazed that I only drank 2 Diet Sundrops at school today. [This is because, for whatever reason, the Sundrop dude does not fill up our machine in the dungeon and I can't make it to the main office and back in 4 minutes.]  I would probably be amazed at how much money I'd have if I didn't put it in that cussed machine....can you say Intervention?  IV Sundrop available anywhere?  Is there a coupon for that?

Emma's bloodwork came back normal.  To fill you in a little, she had a knot come up on her neck a little over a year ago.  I took her to the doctor and we decided to watch and wait because it was not overly large or had any symptoms of anything more than a large lymph node.  Fast forward to about two weeks ago.  She found another knot on the other side of her neck so back to the doctor we went.  Not only was there an enlarged lymph node but her thyroid is also a little larger than it should be as well as some moderate weight gain, hoarseness, and irritability.  All of a sudden we are taking blood and talking about a thyroid problem.  Of course, I call my mom and she starts looking for answers [she's a nurse for those of you that don't know her] and she tells me worst case they take her thyroid out and best case is that it is something that will fix itself.  In the meantime, Craig and I are on pins and needles this entire time.  But honestly, in the midst of the unknown, I felt a true peace that can only come from God.  I knew that no matter what the test said or what news we recieved that God was protecting us and that He would sustain us.  I was nervous because that is human to worry but, like Molly told me, "God's got this Ma!" and I knew that all would be OK.  She will be going for an ultrasound so we'll maybe know more about the lumps in her neck and the thyroid.  I will keep you posted :)

Thank you God for all of the amazing things in my life....as always, it's good to be a Shortie :) 

Lyrically Speaking

I love to hear Gabe's version of songs.  For instance, there is a song on the radio by  Foster the People titled Pumped Up Kicks [it actually has one of those catchy tunes that stays in your head for days].  Gabe loves this song but he doesn't quite know the words....
Gabe's Version:  All the other kids with their pumped up kicks, better run up the elevator, faster than my bulletin.
Real Version: All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.

Tonight he broke out Foreigner [Which BTW, is a totally hard word for a someone with an obvious lack of spelling ability like myself. I had to Google it. Or Goggle it as I usually spell it.]
Gabe's Version:  I wanna go where love lives....I want you to show me where love lives.
Real Version:  I wanna know what love is...I want you to show me.
When I asked him where he heard this song he told me it was on Alvin and the Chipmunks.  [And that is another reason NOT to watch that movie.  That and the fact that the animals talk ~ super creepy.]
Honestly, I like Gabe's versions much better.  

Halloween was fun. [That is really a breakthrough for me.  I like the costume part but I'm not much on the trick or treating part.]  Gabe and Emma had a fabulous.  Emma was a paper doll [I had to explain to her what paper dolls were...and to Cooper...and to Molly] and Gabe was Spider Man [a gift from Santa ~ bizzare, I know, but it was a Christmas gift].

We had a blast!!!  Emma's costume was a huge success [As if I didn't know that would happen] and Gabe was hilarious as always. It made me smile as I watched them make their way to a door, ring the bell, and simultaneously say, "Trick or Treat!"  I love those two babies dearly [Yes, I love the oldest two just as much] and they make me smile.  God has been so very good to us. [However, I did find it odd that a much older woman with a 19 year old trick-or-treater rang our doorbell, AFTER we'd turned off the universal "Have-Candy-Here" porchlight.  When we didn't open the door she came to the carport and knocked.  A. You are way too old to be trick-or-treating B. The light is off. C. Refer to A and B.]

My class reunion is coming up next Saturday.  My 20th reunion.  Wow...hard to believe I've been out of high school that long.  At first I really wanted to go.  I went to the ten year reunion [by myself because Craig's reunion was the same night....and since I married Mr. All-American, he had to help plan his so he couldn't go with me] and I really didn't have such a great time.  I think alot of it was a combination of alot of things: I was alone, I felt very uncomfortable about my weight, and frankly, not many people that I was friends with in high school were there.  Honestly, it really felt like high school all over again [and that would simply be a nightmare for me] and those insecure feelings crept in and took over.  Fast forward 10 years to this reunion.  I signed up about two months ago, thinking I would be able to go and take Craig with me [though he made it abundantly clear that he'd rather have his nose hairs plucked one by one than go to my reunion].   But, since Molly's switch to a new team, she is playing next weekend.  So I had to make a decision on going or not. And, if I chose to go, I would have to go alone because Craig does not like missing Molly's tournaments.  The more I thought about it, two glaring things kept creeping into my mind:
1. I would be selfish to go and miss Molly's tournament.
2. I just really didn't want to go.  At all.
I think [which is very dangerous] that, at the time the evite came around, that I wanted to go but as time has gone on, I am not that interested.  Chalk it up to old age [some might say I am a stick in the mud], lack of interest in hanging out with people I didn't know that well in high school [most of my HS buddies will not be there], and not wanting to spend the money to "hang out". 

High school, at least for me, was not a memorable experience.  [I am SO glad Molly's experience, thus far, has been a million times better.]  I've learned so much about myself over the last 20 years.  I held my own self back from so many great experiences and opportunities because I allowed self-doubt to dominate my life. I grew up with amazing parents and a wonderful sister and awesome friends yet I spent too many years comparing myself to others and I lost that time, that sense of who God meant for me to be, and those memories. I guess, in some absurd way, [imagine absurdity and me in the same sentence - absurd isn't it?] that going to the reunion might bring back those things I've left behind.  I am quite sure my lack of attendance won't make banner headlines or anyone's Facebook status. 

I am in a Fantasy Football league with some of my peeps from work.  There is zero money involved [we're a bunch of teachers] and really I was asked because they needed a twelfth person to create the "league" [and what a coincidence since I've been in twelfth place all season]. My team, Lost Shakers of Salt, does not have the best players [and that could be my general lack of knowledge of who the "best" players are....is Marino still a QB?]  I have learned a few things about the boys [calling them men would simply be an exercise in futility and I have no time for exercise or futility] in my league:
7. A few of them don't understand the fact that it is make belive football.
6. Men will sometimes [if sometimes means ALL the TIME] whine about anything.
5. Some men will do ANYTHING to win, including drafting players for other other teams, refusing trades unless it benefits them, and just generally being turds. [Gabe would laugh at my use of the word "turd".]
4. They cannot spell or use correct grammar.
3. Most of them wear "manties" - I am 100% certain and I've never seen them....or want to see them.
2. They believe that if they crack enough "chicks can't" jokes that I will cry or take my "balls" [their words - not mine] and go home [ironically that would really be difficult for the majority of them].
And the number one thing I've learned this FF season,
1. I actually have a life.
I am just amazed at their general lack of, well for lack of a better word, intelligence.  I probably shouldn't be surprised but I am .  I enjoyed playing the last few years but this year has been zero fun - they can have it. 

As always, life as a Short, is good:)

The Amazing Emma

My Emma has been going to the Good News Club after school for several weeks.  She's also been very inquisitive about Jesus and the Bible since the summertime.  I have prayed for her, as I do all my children, that if she was ready to give her heart to Jesus that she might know.  She is young but so curious and smart [definitely like her mom] and I've tried to answer her questions and encourage her.  Tonight this is what happened:Emma: I need to talk to you about something private.
Me: OK...go ahead sweetheart.
Emma: We've been talking about giving our hearts to Jesus in Good News Club.  Today I asked Jesus to come into my heart.
Me [choking back serious tears]:  Wow!  I am so proud of you!  Did you pray with one of the workers there?
Emma:  No.   When daddy dropped me off this afternoon, I prayed in my room. 
Me:  Thanks be to God for working in her life.  Amazing.

Could this day be any better?  I am so proud of her for listening to God's call in her life.  I am overwhelmed as a parent and overjoyed as a Christian.  I covet your prayers for this sweet, sweet child as she begins her walk with Christ. 

Thank you to every single person who makes a difference and reflect Christ in the lives of children.  Thank you teachers for stopping for a moment of silence and the blessing before lunch.   Thanks to Sunday school teachers, VBS workers, choir directors, children's ministry workers, and Good News Club folks.  Thanks to each of you that cut and paste and wear gold fish on your Sunday best.  Thanks to each of you that get in the floor, plan lessons, and finger paint in the name of Jesus.  Thanks to each of you that pray for children and their salvation. From a mother who is extremely thankful, because it truly does take a village to raise a child, I am in awe of the wonderful grace of God.