Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I added some stuff [a Twitter button, other cool buttons, a scrolling marquee at the check it out] to my blog. [I would say something nice like, "I hope you like it" but I like it and it's my blog so there. Like is an important word today isn't it? Count how many were used already.] I couldn't sleep last night so I was working on finding stuff to put on here - I like it very busy. I spent a ton of time stalking other blogs and there are some very cool ones out there. And I discovered that people will say ANYTHING!! [Some of you are saying, " are one of those folks" but really, I'm not. You the stuff people will post. Amazing. And scary.] I like to write about our lives here at the Short house. I do share some personal stuff but things that are way personal should be kept that way. Some people just hang it all out there for the world...things like infidelity, ugly gossip [I guess that should just be gossip since it's all ugly], and how drunk they got last night. Just like you may choose to [or choose not to] read my blog I can also choose to read or not to read some of these that I found. I guess, more than anything, I am frightened that the world is so crazy that people find it acceptable to feel no remorse for anything. Sad, sad, sad....

Cooper got his annual "football-hawk" and I HATE it. I keep telling myself that it's just hair and it will grow back. Right now I want to call him Razor or Spike and check him for hidden weapons and cigarettes. He and Short [and even Gabe] tried to convince me that Gabe should get one too. Are you kidding me? My Gabe has just a few last remnants of baby curls [that are blonde] hanging around his sweet, sun-kissed face. No man with a set of Wal-Mart clippers is going to touch that sweet head of hair. Mom has spoken - and you will listen.

Emma is driving us crazy [what else is new?] to buy her a goldfish. Now girl will not pick up dirty underwear and socks up from her room but she wants a pet to take care of and feed. [I've blogged about this before but we just ain't the pet kind here at the Short house. Actually, I don't even like other people's pets. I'm sorry but honesty is the best policy...unless of course your wife, girlfriend, or any girl in general ask things like, "Does this make my butt look big?" or "Do you think I've gained weight?" or "Does my haircut look bad?" then you better lie like a dog if the answers are not NO!] We promised her when we returned from Canada that she could get a goldfish but that she had to keep it's tank clean and feed it or it would be swimming in the great tank in the sky [via the toilet] and we wouldn't want that to happen. You know that I will keep you posted on that one. And don't judge us on the pet thing.

In other news, Molly actually did get to go on the youth trip - in spirit anyway. Her biffles and the youth minister [who is AWESOME I might add] created a cardboard cutout of her. [And it is so white....just like Molly]. Periodically they post pics of her:

Last night they dressed her for worship and then for bed. Hilarious!!! Paper Molly is having a fantastic time at St. Simon's Island [I think I said Jekyll Island bad] while real Molly is here sweating like a pig at softball camp. She has the best biffles and youth group EVER!!!

We are hanging at my mom and dad's for a few days [I would like to say that it's because we just wanted to come over but it's really because I am chicken to say alone and Craig is at the NC Coaches Clinic (aka Testosterone and Coach's Shorts Fest) so I used the excuse that the kids could swim for a few days to hide my fear. Shut it.] and last night we ate dinner in the big house. [We usually stay in the servent's quarters or pool house but we were treated to an evening dinner at the dining room table in the big house...just call us George and Weezy....] We love coming here - it's like a nice little resort without the resort prices. I love my parents ♥

Off to make a blueberry pound cake and lunch for the kiddos. Updates soon on Calgary, the goldfish, Paper Molly, and life in general. As's good to be a Shortie!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Maturity ! It's What It's All About ♥

I am sad today. The youth from our church left about an hour ago for a trip to Jekyll Island, GA but my Molly Moo was not with them :( Long story short [because we all know I can drag a story out way too much.....] is that she told her travel coach that she would attend softball camp then I signed her up for the beach trip. Then, she had a decision to make - softball camp or the beach trip. [Let's see - hot sun, running all day, getting dirty, worn out OR hot sun, hanging with friends, soaking up the sun, the sounds of the ocean? Hmmmm....] After much debate and internal torment [and a lot of "Tell me what to do!!"] she finally came to the conclusion that if she made a commitment to her coach then she should stick to it so she backed out of the beach trip.

Now she went through those typical "Whoa is me..." Eeyore moments where the world seemed cruel and we, her parents, seemed even more cruel but she's OK. She knows that her biffles [Mollyenese for best friends for life] will be back on Friday - and this is only 5 short days. She also knows that sometimes we have to make tough decisions that do not always make us happy but are the right decisions. She got to go out to eat with all of them last night. And I know them and they will text and call and blow up her Facebook so she'll be just fine. She was excited about going to camp [somewhat] and she took a friend with her.

It's just hard, being a momma, to see your child hurt. This is minor, I know, but it hurt my feelings just the same. My comfort is knowing that she made the decision with lots of maturity [that's my Molly Moo] and she is OK knowing that she's staying behind for a good reason. Plus, she is keenly aware that not going to the beach is not the end of the world and that there are many around us that didn't even eat dinner last night. Thanks for the lesson Molly :)

Off to ride my bike. [I'll be venturing to uptown KM so if you're in the area and see a woman lying in the middle of the road with a red bike beside her please stop to help. And don't laugh.] My sister has informed me that my mom signed me up for the Winston Ramblin' Rose and that we should consider doing the Over the Mountain Tri next May. She even mentioned something about preparing for the Ironman in five years. [I would say that this was a crack induced fantasy but it is not....she stopped the crack pipe several years ago...] I need this motivation. I have prayed for motivation. I need someone who lives closer that can train with me - Summer lives about an hour and half away - who will be honest and mean [I do cry easily so not too mean] and will do this with me. Molly is going to do the tri in September with me but we both need someone who's done this before. [I did ask someone but I am so embarassed because she is such a great athlete and runner and I am so not and I feel so inadequate that I have not called. Stupid I know. My good friend, Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I consented a long time ago. Confidence has NEVER been part of my repertoire. I pray for it.] I will email this person today...I promise.

Off to Calgary this Saturday. I am excited but nervous as always. My neice is coming to stay with the kids since they have so much going on but I still hate leaving them for a whole week :( Pray for us as we get prepared this week. Pray that the team that is there this week will be blessed like we were last summer and that God's message will be heard by those that are not good at listening.

[Craig told me that he appreciates my "heavier" blogs but he really likes the funny ones. Thanks...I think.] I promise more funnies very soon :) As always, life is good.

Sunday, July 17, 2011


I have spent the last hour and a half trying to create a picture title for this blog. [As if my house doesn't need to be cleaned, clothes don't need to folded, fat doesn't need burning off my body....I have all the time in the world to goof off.] worked the way I wanted it to. I wish I knew how to put the title on the pics. Any suggestions? [If not, I've got hours and hours to waste tomorrow....]
Missy :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Slide to the Left....Slide to the Right...Crisscross!

Emma wanted to have a tea party tonight so we all obliged her. [Yes, we had to force Cooper to participate but he did - with bells on his toes...] Emma marches to the beat of her own drum [shocker there] so she already had this idea of how we would all look at the table - each of us had a hat. There was also "tea" and "fruit" [water and fruit snacks]. We had to speak in accents like we were actually at a tea party....things like, "I'll have a spot of tea" and "Oh my this is tasty" and "Polo later?" It was fun. Even Cooper had a good time. We decided to swith things up a bit and pass our hats to the right and be a new character. Here are a few of our pics: Yes...we are cultural here at the Short house - and this tea party was no exception.

We accept all kinds at our tea parties...even thugs [or wannabe thugs].

Craig had the pinky thing down pat [Which is extremely scary on many levels....maybe we need to talk] and he played the part well.

Our hostess with the mostest - Flossie herself rockin' this sweet Kentucky Derby meets 80s Hairband hat.

We didn't realize Paul Revere was going to show up. [He looks strangely like Craig...and the pinky gives it away.]

Then the dance party began. Emma wanted us to do the Cha Cha slide and Cupid Shuffle. Now you know if you say "dance" and "Craig" in the same sentence that something worth videotaping is going to happen....and it did. [Incidentally, Craig should get out more. He said, "I don't know how to Cha Cha Slide" to which Cooper answers, "Um Dad the song tells you what to do."]

I could not stop laughing. [And to think that I am the LUCKY woman who gets to live with this man. Really.] We did find that Craig does not listen to the words because he was doing the Cha Cha Craig or something bizarre. [He doesn't know I've posted this video. This is good stuff.]

We had so much fun. I hate to see the summer end. [I know there are several more weeks but it seems to be going by faster and faster.] I love nights like this when we are just together - all six of us - and nothing else matters.

As always, life as is tea and crumpets here at the Short house :)

Monday, July 11, 2011

French Fries and Free Laughs

We loves some eating here at the Short house [some of you are saying, "Well duh ~ we've seen you in public!"] so each week we try to find new things to have for dinner. Courtesy of one of my favorite friends in all the world, Angela, we get menus from and then pick and choose what we want. Several years ago, in an effort to save money on groceries [is that really possible with 4 kids, one of which is a gigantic 12 year old boy?] we decided to start making menus and then buying only what we needed for that week. When ez meals came along it just streamlined the process because it tells me exactly what to buy and an estimated cost. It has jazzed up our menu a bit and given us some options. Tonight our dinner was actually a breakfast dish with a side of bacon [and Craig said, "Can I get an amen?!"] and some strawberries [which cancels out the bacon...doesn't it?]. The only problem was it was really sweet....

Fast forward to 10pm, when almost simultaneously Craig, Molly, and I say, "I really could use something salty to eat. Like fries." So yes....we did it.... we went to Wendy's. [Actually Craig did that waterboarding technique on me until I gave in. Well, he did twist my arm. OK - he handed me the money and I said, "What do you want?" Don't judge me.] Best fries ever. I even took a picture of the empty box. Emma asked, "You gonna put that on your blog?" but Sophie [my niece and the sweetest little five year old EVER] started giggling hysterically. Emma asked her what was so funny and she replied, "I thought you asked your mom if she was going to put that on her bra!!" [Yet, in some circles, this would not be uncommon.]

I guess you could say the whole "yeah, I'm training for a tri" thing isn't going well for me this summer. I hurt my back about a month ago and I cannot get better. A doctor visit and a round of steroids and muscle relaxers later and I'm still being forced to let Emma do the evil elbow treatment on my back before putting ice on it. [I do not want to go back to the doctor. I am to the "I refuse" phase at the moment but if I keep walking like Quasimodo then that might change.] So my awesome sister is on her 3rd tri this weekend and I can't even walk fast at the moment. Not to mention that my 20 year high school reunion [I am guessing] will be this year. I sure as heck don't want people saying, "Yeah, Missy put on a few pounds (times 10) since high school. She does have four kids you know." [And she eats fries at 10:30pm - I read it in her blog...not her bra.] BLAH!!!! Totally feeling like a BIG fat, almost 40, falling apart, fry eater tonight....

Yesterday Molly and I made a really cool lampshade for her NYC inspired room. We wanted to do something cool but not spend a lot of money [you know how the budget Nazi is about stuff like this.....] so we bought a sad looking lamp at Goodwill, spray painted it silver, and then made a decoupage lampshade with an old calender of NYC. Fabulous!! We had so much fun! Gabe came in during the process and this is how the conversation went:
Gabe: Whatcha putting on that picture Mowy? [He can't say the l's in her name.]
Molly: None~ya. [So glad that there is zero tolerance for sarcasm at this house.]
Gabe: Why are you putting none~ya on it?
Then he proceeded to wear the lampshade on his head. [At least he had his clothes on....there have been times....]

Speaking of NYC, Molly and several of her biffles [that is BFFLs or best friends for life for those of you that do not speak Mollyenese] are planning a girls trip there in the summer to celebrate turning 16. [Thinking back to my 16th I remember playing hide'n'seek in the back yard in Lincolnton....good times.] I am totally excited to be going because I've never been there before. We want to do all the "touristy" things like Ellis Island and Broadway....Times Square and Central Park...the Empire State Building and Ground Zero. It should be big [and expensive so if anyone feels compelled to donate to the Missy and Molly hit the Big Apple Fund I will be more than happy to oblige you] and well worth the wait.

Emma had her first "basketfull" of veggies from her little garden this week and she was super excited. [Incidentally, the basket was another find from Goodwill.] She loves that garden. The tomatoes are finally starting to turn [thanks to advice from Tammie about Epsom salt - worked like a charm] and we've had a few banana peppers, a bell pepper, and some zucchini. She has little buds on the cantelope and watermelon plants so we'll see what happens. Not too shabby for two very novice gardeners like us :) Next year will be better - we're already planning more stuff!!

And the countdown is on - only 6 more weeks until we go back to school. I am kind of looking forward to it [change is good - change is good - if I keep saying it then I will believe it] for a lot of reasons. I love being a teacher :) I think that I am doing exactly what God intended for me to do with my life. I think the kids I teach are pretty cool and I love the school where I teach. I am a dork so being a science teacher just makes it all better. Found out today that I've got some cool technology coming my way [life is short ~ embrace the dork in you] so I'm kind of ready for a new beginning this year. The Lord keeps giving me Colossians 3:23 as my foundation for the year: Whatever you do work at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord and not for men. That's all I need :)

As always, life as a Short, eating fries at midnight, is totally awesome!!!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Free Sarcasm Any Day of the Week

I married one of the greatest men ever [well besides my own daddy:)] . He is an awesome daddy. His children [well, I guess OUR children - that was dumb] ADORE him. [And it shows because they get everything they want and then some.....] My mom told me one time that I act as if he hung the moon....and I still act like that a lot of the time [there are exceptions to this because he does make me angry at times. Unlike me, he is not the model spouse. Seriously.] He is a teacher and a coach and, in my opinion [which incidentally is more valuable than gold] he is the best at both. Best of all, he is a Christian role model for me, for our children, for his athletes, and his friends. He is a Jesus freak and he ain't afraid to tell ya!

And....sarcasm is just another service he offers. He is full of one liners, comments [this is exactly where Coop gets this from], and advice about what "he thinks." Here are a few:
1. [Heard this past week when we went to eat on July 5th but the place was closed for the 4th]: Rednecks will milk the 4th of July! This dumps been closed all weekend!!
2. [Heard after Molly made the comment that so and so was a good person]: Yeah, well there are good people in hell too.
3. [Heard when Gabe had chocolate all over his face but discovered AFTER we were in the grocery store]: That boy needs a wet nap!
4. [Heard after Molly was talking about something someone said]: He's full of more crap than a Christmas goose. [1. I've never had goose at Christmas. 2. I don't want one that is full of crap.]
5. [Overheard on a DAILY basis at our house] : Why am I so sexy? or How does the world contain this sexy man? or Do you realize how sexy I am? [My reply? Eye roll....eye roll....eye rolll.]
6. [Heard several times directed at a softball player]: I will rip your lips off...just sayin'. That was the worst at bat in the history of at bats in fastpitch softball. Hey you [insert position] if you want to watch the game buy a ticket! Can you catch a ball....PLEASE?! You are doing better - you suck less now. [He says this one when the girls don't catch/stop the ball.]GET OFF ME BALL!! [Incidentally, he has a bucket in the dugout with a bullseye for kicking and a place for tally marks.]
7. [Told to several referrees in the various sports he has coached over the years]: Well, ref, at least you are consistent....consistently bad [= yellow card in volleyball]. Ref: Say one more thing to me and I'll throw you out! Craig: ONE MORE THING! [= Coach Short exiting the field at JV football game, kicking 50 yard marker and one set of water bottles across the endzone on the way out] Ref to Craig: What rule book are you reading? Craig: Apparently the one you are not because I am right. Maybe you should read the other rule book.
8. [Heard consistently in the Short house]: I might be the best [insert whatever he is doing at the moment] in the whole world. For example: I might be the best peanut butter and jelly maker in the whole world. I might be the best hamburger griller in the whole world. I might be the best sock folder in the whole world. I might be the best grass cutter in the whole world. I might be the best.....[at this point we ususally hear blah, blah, blah.....]
9. [He's been doing this one since we met in college]: He will be across the parking lot at Wal Mart or across a store and he will throw his hand up and wave until I wave back. He's a big dude so of course, everyone in between me and him will wave at him. It's funny.
10. [This one really annoys me. He doesn't seem to care.]: I will call him to find out when he will be home and the conversation usually goes something like this:
Me: Where are you?
Craig: In the car.
Me: Where at in the car?
Craig: On the right side of the road.
Me: I hate you.
Craig: Well you asked.
11. [Molly reminded me of this one]: If the man feels strongly about something [like a political issue or something he thinks is absurd like commercials, bumper stickers, and people that drive really slow] then he gets on a tangent and it is best to listen and smile....because he's not going to be quiet until he says EVERYTHING he wants to say. Then, he'll say, "This is the last thing I'm going to say then I'll shut up." But...there's always one more thing to say after that....

He makes us laugh - alot! Needless to say, there is never a dull moment at our house - EVER. He did admit to us that when we are not home he will sometimes turn on the music and dance around the house. [And his dancing is hilarious - boy's got some rhythm] At football games on Friday nights and during softball games, we can always judge how the mood on the field is by the mad-o-meter - his hat. If things are going great, it's on his head. If things start going south, he starts to bend the bill and adjust it on his head. If it's super bad, then it's off his head and in his back pocket or the back of his pants or even on the ground. He swears this is not true but I've been watching him coach for 15 years - I know.

I love him. I can't imagine my life any other way. We've been through a lot together and he's always stuck with me [God bless him - he deserves many jewels in his crown for that alone] and he's always supported me. He is a good provider and a good man. He's my lobster :)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

It's a Girl...Sometimes...

Awesome summer so far for the Shorties!! It is hard to believe that it's already the 6th of July. [Some of you are doing some major eye rolling and cursing teachers under your breath. You could have been an underpaid professional, called to teach the youth of America and have your summers off too. Don't hate...appreciate.] I have thoroughly enjoyed my children. We've been swimming, to Swooger's for ice cream, outside catching lightning bugs, to the movies, and up late every single night. I am so blessed :)

So Emma is killin' me this summer. [I'm two for two with the younger Shorties. I say this, all the time, but God did not prepare me for Emma and Gabe by sending Molly and Cooper first. Seriously.] Emma is just funny and extremely irreverent. She is always dressed to impress with painted nails, hair just right, and jewelry. Then-----she passes gas [in some circles (ummm the Short house) words like fart, toot, poof, etc. are used to describe this act] or she burps. Then comes that insane belly laugh. The girl is a nut!! I've tried [I promise. I mean, I swear I have] to teach her that she shouldn't do that [especially when we have company....or she's in public....or really anywhere] but she just thinks I'm funny. [Again, God did not prepare us for her by sending Molly first.] And it's nothing for her to break out in song or dance. On Saturday, she wanted to vacuum [which sent Short and I into momentary comas because no one in our house ever ask to vacuum] and the next thing I know she's singing Sir Mix-A-lot at the top of her lungs. "I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't (someting completely undecipherable) when a girl walks in with an (something something something) you get FUNKY!" Conversation heard later:

Craig: So did you vacuum?
Emma: Yep.
Craig: Am I going to have to vacuum behind you?
Emma: Yep.

She has the little girl, chubby belly thing going on. [Why doesn't that work for me? I'm just fat but she's supposed to look like that....what changes when a girl passes 12?] For this reason, she wears all of her pants below the a man. Phrase uttered frequently at my house: Emma, pull up your pants!!! Seeing her in a bathing suit is hilarious because she keeps the bottoms pushed down and the top rides up. She marches to the beat of her own drum and I love her for that. Gabe will join the circus and Emma will be on Broadway [or in jail] so the future looks bright for the Shorties!!

Why am I up at 5am, blogging? [Besides the fact that the militant midget wedged himself on the .25 in. space on the edge of the bed and my ribs?] My back is HURTING!!! Several weeks ago I fell on the ground [do not ask me how] and every since then the pain has slowly increased. I have tried stretching, having Gabe walk on it [would not recommend that one to anyone with a desire to keep their tailbone in one piece], lots and lots of Advil and Tylenol, a massage [by Emma and Craig and my sister], heat, ice, and ignoring it. Today, for the first time, I virtually could not move without discomfort. So, in just a few hours, I'll be going to the doctor. BLAH...I hate going to the doctor for several reasons but the two biggest are paying the money and standing on the scale. [Money and weighing in rank right up there with mosquitoes, poison ivy, and people who don't hit 'reply sender' when responding to emails as things on my list of annoying stuff.] But, in this case, lifting my legs without pain, to walk, far outweighs the annoying parts of going to the doctor. [You realize how overrated walking and generally moving are when you hurt your back.]

Life as a Short [even when writhing in pain] is awesome :)

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Free ♥

[Turn off the music below before you watch the video.]

I promised to share more about my week at MFuge....

Each night we participated in worship with an awesome band, Finding Favour and an amazing speaker, Cliff Jordan. I love, love, LOVE praise and worship. But on Monday and Tuesday that is all it was - a time when I sorta listened and hoped they would sing some of my favorites. I was there, physically, but not there spiritually. But, Wednesday night, something happened. God spoke to me in a very, very powerful way. He talked directly to me - to my heart - and He told me that it was time for me to stop wandering....time for me to stop regretting....time for me to let go and let Him. You talk about a moment in which time stood still and I was the only one in the room ~ that was it. Right then and there, without arguing or denying that God was speaking directly to me, I said OK. And when I mean I said OK, for the first time, I meant it. From that moment it was as if this incredible burden was lifted off my shoulders. I was free for the first time.

Free from doubts about me. Self confidence has never been my strong suit. I have always felt insecure about my abilities and my appearance. He erased those doubts. Free.

Free from my past. Craig and I never intended to have a baby, get married, then graduate from college but we made bad choices. [Don't get me wrong...I have NEVER considered Molly a bad choice or a mistake. She is beautiful, wonderful, and the light of my life. I love her and the other Shorties dearly ♥] I never intended to take 6 years to get a four year degree. I graduated in the top 20 in my class in high school....then spent too many nights not studying in college, when it really counted. But God said let it go...and I did. Free.

Free from regrets. So many regrets about things I've done. [I do have some privacy so I'll keep those between me and the Him.] Regrets about stupid things that have kept me from feeling good about who I am and who I can be. But He said give it all to me. Free.

Free from worry. I worry so much - I worry about worrying. Anxiety has plagued me [and I use the "plagued" because it's been like a sickness] for years. Try having 4 kids and having the anxiety that I have ~ can you say CrAzY? I cannot even begin to describe how being anxious can absolutely, 100% dominate your existence and make you feel as if you cannot function - I have been there. I have been paralyzed by this fear. But, as I stood with "arms high and heart abandoned" He said I will take this from you. Free.

As I was stood there that night, paralyzed by this overwhelming sense of joy, the only thing I could think about was sharing all of this with Craig. I wanted him to know, to share, to be there with me. I cannot say enough about his witness and his desire for me to grow closer to God. He has tried - he bought me a calendar and labeled 365 days with scripture so that I could read my Bible in a year....I never used it. He has confronted the Jehovah's Witness' when they've come to the door while I hid in the kitchen. He has volunteered to pray outloud while I was too embarassed. But, on that night, as I stood there, I could feel this tug on my heart to be a better wife to my husband. I am not perfect [sorry for those of you that thought otherwise] but I can do so many more things than I've done in the past. I cried when I shared this with him. He cried. But the amazing thing was the freedom of it all.

I have no doubt about being saved. It was at Carolina Cross Connection when I was 13. But, for many years, I have only been pretending. Not more pretending, no more games, no more ignorance. I have a huge responsibility to raise my children in a Christian household but if I am pretending then my efforts will be in vain. On that Wednesday night, at North Greenville University, in the middle of almost 1000 people God called and I listened.

I would appreciate your prayers and encouragement. I have poured out my heart here. I have changed. I am free.

Through You the blind will see
Through You the mute will sing
Through You the dead will rise
Through You all hearts will praise
Through You the darkness flees
Through You my heart screams, I am free!
I am free to run!
I am free to dance!
I am free to live for you!
I am free!

As always, life as a Short, is awesome :)