Open Letter to Kings Mountain Football Fans

Dear Kings Mountain Football Fans,

I am a coach's wife [which entitles me to squat...been doing it for 20 years...it really means nothing to anyone but me and that is ok] and the mother of #50, the long snapper.  I come to football games just like SOME of the rest of you do, to support the football team.  As the coach said in the movie Radio, "I love Friday nights when you're lookin' for a win and Saturday mornings when you found one." I've been following Friday night football for over 20 years.  I love it.

But, I will be the first to tell you, that I love my husband and son way more than I love football.  In fact, just like most moms and dads out there, I am extremely passionate about my children and my spouse. That being said, as a coach's wife, I do tend to guard them [hover, get bent out of shape, get way more upset than I should, etc.] when we are at sporting events where they are playing and/or coaching. 

Sometimes All the time I do this to a fault. 
I am hypersensitive.
I overreact.

Let me share something with you. I have a unique perspective being that I am married to an assistant football coach and a head softball coach [yes, they are the same man].  I know the time that is spent away, from our family, to coach. When you sign on to be the wife of a coach you have to realize the commitment that will be required of your husband.  I spent many years frustrated because my husband was a way from July to November [ask my husband] and I didn't understand. Coaching is a HUGE commitment, by an entire family, if it is to be done correctly. 

So yes, when I hear "fans", [and, honestly, that word should be used very loosely these days in these parts] yelling at the players, [and whomever else is within earshot of some of their shrill voices], saying things like "Coach Lloyd don't care! He got a ring when he was at Crest!  He wants Crest to win! He don't care about KM! None of them coaches care!"  then yes, I'm probably going to say something to them.  

And to the woman [or women or whomever spoke loud enough for God and everyone in between, to hear them agree with the statement that the coaches didn't care.].  I mean, if you are willing to drop the F-bomb [not just once but SEVERAL times], loud and proud like it's sugar rolling off your tongue then I feel confident you, or someone ignorant enough to keep sitting beside you, were the one [or ones] in agreement with the aforementioned statement.  

Should I stoop to their level of ignorance by acknowledging their words?  I mean, they have just as much right to speak their opinions as I do don't they? 

Last night, at the Crest game, I chose to say something in the general direction of the crowd of people in obvious agreement with the statement about the coaches.

Call it what you want...stupid redneck ignorance, disgruntled wife, woman looking to pick a fight, etc.  

I'd had enough.  
Honestly, all I could tolerate. 
Tank was full. 
Stick a fork in me I was done.

The family that was shouting [and yes, it was people from the same family, sitting just to my right] those things about the coaches have NO IDEA what those same coaches have done for their kids because if they did, they wouldn't say those things loud enough for everyone to hear.  They would, instead of shouting obscenities, understand the commitment to their sons who play football, sometimes at the expense of the kids that actually belong to the coaches.  They would understand that last night's game was probably one of the TOUGHEST games this year and several of our starters were injured. If they had even the slightest clue then they would know that these same coaches have worked desperately off the field to keep one of their kids out of trouble so he could play this year. 

I chose to simply say, "Shut up" in the general direction of the serial cusser.

I'm not asking for your permission or forgiveness.  
I take on the responsibility that comes along with confronting someone.  
It's mine to own and no one else's.  

But as a mother and a true fan and the wife of a coach [and a whole lotta Lincoln County redneck] I turned, pointed at a woman sitting a few rows behind me [who has been very vocal, outspoken, and to be honest, just plain rude during her son's tenure as a player], and told her to shut up.  I acknowledged her complete lack of respect for the men who are coaching her son with a shut up.

She threatened to come down two rows and whoop me.  [And if I'd had my wits about me I would have responded with, "Bring it don't sing it. Nothing between us but air and opportunity"] Then the man in front of me, along with his daughter, called me racist. I told him I wasn't a racist and left. [I won't even address that one at all. Not. At All.  I am not a racist.]

Truth be told, many, many Kings Mountain fans are just fair weather fans. Many of you are not truly interested in supporting KM football [or basketball or softball or baseball or really any sport].  Many of you are simply there to see how loud and obnoxious you can be.  

You enjoy belittling the coaches. Really? What cowardice.  Say it to their faces instead of around everyone but them. There is a huge difference in a fan disagreeing with a coach's play calling and a fan that yells at the players that their coaches don't care about them at all because, and I quote "he already got his ring."   

You enjoy yelling at players on the sidelines and the field.  Do you even think about a player's family and friends that might be sitting around you?  Let me answer that for you: NO.  And what kind of adult yells ugly remarks at a high school student on the field anyway? Let me answer that one for you: An idiot. 

[True story from last night:  My son hurt his knee last week.  He is the main long snapper for the varsity so his job is important, especially in a game like last night's with a lot of punts.  He wanted to play but he cannot run yet.  Before the game Coach Lloyd let the Crest coach know that Cooper would only be snapping. He would not be blocking or running. In fact, he would snap with his head down and hit all fours if the play came towards him.  He did as he was told, by HIS coach.  A man sitting on the hill yelled down that #50 needed to get up and play instead of sitting on all fours. Most of you don't have a clue.] 

Many of you are not there at all to be a true fan.  

True fans, thick or thin, stand by their team. No matter what happens. 
True fans support the back-up quarterback with every throw.  This young man has more heart and tenacity than ANY OF YOU.  
True fans [or any decent adults with an ounce of self-respect] don't yell obscenities at the top of their lungs with small children sitting in front of them.
True fans don't use Twitter and Facebook and other social media to bash coaches and players.
True fans don't send hateful emails about playing time.  [Please, parents, if you want your son to be number one and you want everyone to know that by bashing others, take up golf.  It's much harder to yell and get away with it at a golf match.]

So, all you so-called "fans" of Kings Mountain football, please learn the true meaning of the word fan.

Or, better yet, stay home.

Sincerely yours [with a true fan backbone],
Missy      

We Heart the Coach

There is a band I like to listen to on Youtube [Yes, I am pretty cool and use Youtube] named 7Eventh Time Down.  They sing one über cool song titled Rusty Nails. Tonight I found this one...this is just the beginning of the song:

Just Say Jesus

Life gets tough and times get hard

And it's hard to fine the truth in all the lies

If you're tired of wondering why you're heart isn't healing

And nothing feels like home cause you're lost and alone

Just screaming at the sky 

When you don't know what to say

Just say Jesus
There is power in the name
The name of Jesus
If the words won't come cause you're too afraid to pray
Just say Jesus

Its no secret [least it ain't anymore] that if you want to see 7 different kinds of crazy then mess with my family. I do not hide anything [maybe I should...] about how fierce I am over them and with good reasons: God blessed me and has gave me the responsibility of doing this mommy and wife thing and I do not want to disappoint Him.  I will not, EVER, apologize for watching over them. And with that responsibility given to me, I am supposed to guide them spiritually, through the good times and the not so good times.  

I failed at that tonight.  

I was not a good role model.

I am angry. [HULK get angry!!] My anger was apparent tonight.

More than anything, and I mean ANYTHING, right now, my heart is broken for my sweet husband.  

It's not anything tragic.  

Tragedy is the devastation in tornado ravaged areas.

Tragedy is a ferry full of innocent people, plummeting to the deep ocean.

Tragedy is a student, so full of rage and discouragement at a rejection to the prom, that he kills an innocent girl.

Softball drama isn't tragic.  It's really pathetic actually.  Downright useless. [As Short would say, about as useless as rooster crap on a pump handle. #word]

So why am I mad?  Why does my heart hurt so bad for that favorite coach of mine?   

Let me tell you a few things that not a lot of people know about the man...

He cries at stories on E60, 30 for 30, sometimes commercials, and EVERY TIME he talks about his daddy. 

He reads his Bible every morning.

He is not ticklish. [And that drives my kids crazy. And me too.]

He grew up in a house full of women [the only boy..the baby boy....a momma's boy] so he can wash, clean, make gravy, and iron better than me.

His heart breaks for players that don't use their potential and God-given talents. My oldest two NEVER get to make excuses when it comes to sports because he has taught them, Luke 12:28 "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." 

He has a buddy from SC and he will tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that was given to him by divine intervention.  [And trust me, the bromance is evident.]  They are the best of friends.

He loves to dance. [And he's actually pretty good at it.]

He hung the moon. [Well, not really, but my mom told me one time I act like he did.]

He kisses his 6 foot 15 year old son and let's his 7 year old fall asleep on him on a nightly basis.

He makes "Dad's Lasagna" when I am out of town.

He loves cookies, chocolate, Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi, and sitting in his recliner. [Sometimes at the expense of others.]

He never, ever leaves me behind. My first try at the Cooper River Bridge he stayed right there, encouraging me to keep on going [and trust me, I did NOT want to keep on going] even though he could have probably finished 30 minutes better.

He wants his softball team to have nice uniforms and the best equipment but more than that, he wants to push them to be successful young women of character.

He hates moral victories, tomatoes, and the Buffalo Bills.

He loves Jesus.

He grew up without a father and after his grandfather died, he had to learn to be the man of the house.  God is good...all the time...and sent some amazing male role models to help guide him.  He came out, on the other side, better for what happened in his life.  Which makes him more determined to be a Godly, loving, father and husband.

These are the things that break my heart for him.  There are some people that are on a witch hunt because he refuses to cower down to petty demands and accusations yet they have NO clue who he is as man.  He doesn't deserve this at all.

I've watched him wring his hands and lose sleep over disparaging comments because he coaches with passion and he doesn't like losing. [I mean, who does really?]  I've watched, in complete disgust, as parents [and one very crotchety and mean old grandfather] yell hateful remarks at him in front of our children, opposing teams, and in front of the entire stands.  I've read the text messages from the parents that were angry because their daughter was left behind because she was late for the bus on game day. [Does anyone else out there see how her being late because she was hanging out with her boyfriend the fault of a coach? Me neither.]  

He is a grown man.  He can take up for himself. He certainly does not need my sentiments, flowery words, or defense of his actions.  He isn't a coward but he is gracious and will give someone the benefit of the doubt...sometimes at his own expense.

But I need to know that this is all going to be OK.

I need to not feel so angry in the pit of my stomach over these people that, quite frankly, are part of that "entitlement" crowd I speak of so much.

More than all of that, I am desperately trying to understand why parents cannot simply allow the coach to coach without turning constructive criticism into an all out war against a person's character.

When did high school sports become the breeding ground for the "Imma Get Mine" parents? [Which, by the way, suck the life out of everyone they come in contact with and really, honestly, just suck in general.]

So, in my quest, tonight [today] to get rid of all of this anger I simply say...

Just Jesus.  Help me find the truth in all the lies and keep on plugging.  Help me be the mom and the wife you would have me to be.  Take away this anger that I have for these people that just want to tear down my husband.  Allow my daughter to continue to be a strong leader on and off the field. Help those players and parents that have the team interest at heart to continue to be bold in strength.  Most of all, mend his heart that is losing faith in coaching altogether.

Hooker Makeup, A Line in the Sand, and Other Fairly Odd Observations

I found some eye shadow under the sink in my bathroom.  I am thinking my mom gave it to me when she was cleaning out her bathroom. [That or Craig's got some explaining to do about a girlfriend...]  I had to use it yesterday because mine broke and had to be thrown in the trash. I didn't pay much attention to the writing inside the case until the second or third time I used it.  

It is hooker makeup. [Not really.  Or maybe it is.  I don't know.]

The eye shadow colors have names like....

Stilleto

Lap Dance

Pink Cheeks

Satin Sheets

It made laugh thinking about who named these colors. Who looks at eye shadow and says, "Hey! That color reminds me of a lap dance"?  

[I haven't asked Craig about the girlfriend thing yet so I am hoping it came from my mom....which sorta creeps me out even more....]

I am thinking of selling my kidney.  [I suppose I could sell just a kid but I think that is frowned upon in our country.]  Prices of groceries are killing us.  We spend a small fortune [and that is no exaggeration] every single month.  I mean, even the stinkin' cows are in on it. [There is a conspiracy among the heifers...and I'm not talkin' about your in-laws.]  I've tried coupons but honestly, right now, I do not have the time to keep up with them. [What?  You have time to blog but no time to cut coupons?  You must be stupid. I might be.] Its just hard to keep them organized [Have you seen my desk at school? My dresser? I am special.]  I am keeping my fingers crossed that if I can survive until school ends I can get into a groove with coupons to save money on groceries. [Until then its a lot of cheapo dinners for the Shorties....cooked with love.]

Have you ever taken your toe and drawn a line in the sand?  Maybe a stick? What about mixaphorically? [Gotta love some O'Brother!!]  

What exactly does this "line in a sand" thing mean anyway?  

For some people it means I throw in the towel.  Done.

For others, it means no compromise available.

For me it simply means... 

I am tired.
Exhausted.
Overwhelmed.
DONE.

Honestly, I have lost faith in some people. 

I have learned there are some fiercely mean and extraordinarily selfish people that have trampled all over any sort of civility before speaking or acting towards me, my husband, my children, my colleagues, my friends, my students.....

Some have been students.  I've never seen entitlement rear its ugly head like I have this year. 

Some have been parents.  Wow.  I am amazed when mole hills become huge mountains then mudslides when simple consequences [we are talking more like non-existent-except-on-paper kinds of punishments] are given to children for not following rules.  

The honest truth is that I am relatively laid back in the classroom and I am not one of those looking for something to happen all the time.  As the old saying goes, I choose my battles because I know that kids will be kids and EVERYONE [including yours truly] has a bad day sometimes. 

I guess it is really easy to blame the teacher these days...after all, we only work 10 months a year, get all holidays off, and from what I've heard, don't do a lot anyway.  It's clearly OK that some middle schoolers should be able to do what they want, when they choose, with total disregard for those trying to learn. I get it now...makes sense.  

I will defend my kids like crazy if they are being treated wrongly but let's be completely real for a moment [if that is possible] and think about what I just said...IF.  

Let's play a game....Guess Which One I Chose?

Here is the scenario: My son comes in a few months ago and tells me that a teacher is going to give him detention if he is late one more time. 

Did I....

A. Fly off the handle, contact the teacher, and tell him that he was absolutely out of line for thinking he was going to give my son detention for being late and then tell him that there are plenty of other kids that act way worse than my son, that are late every day?

OR

B. Ask my son why he was late to class so much [to which he says, "All the kids going that way are slow"] and then proceed to tell him to get his A** to class or have detention?

[cue the Jeopardy music here]

If you answered B then you know me well.  Is it the teacher's fault my son can't get across the road in a timely manner?  [If you need time to think about that then you need to be punched in the throat.]  NO!  It is my son's responsibility [now there is a word that is slowly being fazed out of education] to get to class on time or face the consequences [incidentally the definition of consequences is a result or effect of an action or condition...yeah, nothing in there about blaming everyone around you].    

Now don't get me wrong [wasn't that a Chrissy Hines and the Pretenders song?], I ain't perfect nor am I perfect parent.  I make LOTS of mistakes.  But I have learned [in 18 years in this business] that sometimes my kids will make it look a lot worse than it is or they want things to swing in their direction so they make themselves look like victims.  Truth is, most of the time, Short and I can help them come to a simple solution by talking about the why of something that they don't agree with and then let them know it is OK to be frustrated. [And it truly is OK to be frustrated.]  And 99.9% of the time, the issue at hand is either resolved or we find a way to work through it - and those are in good and bad situations.  

These situations are called LIFE LESSONS and we owe it to our children to let them learn these before they go out on their own.  

So you get detention for being late too many times - BE RESPONSIBLE AND GET TO CLASS ON TIME!

You don't get to start in the game - BE DETERMINED TO HUSTLE AND STEP UP AT PRACTICE!

You "forgot" to study so you cheated on a test - BE MATURE ENOUGH TO ADMIT THE MISTAKE AND STUDY HARDER NEXT TIME!

I mean those things worked for me growing up.  My daddy didn't take any excuses from me.  I appreciated it then and even more now. 

I lied in second grade to my teacher and the ENTIRE class about winning a gymnastics competition.  My mom made me apologize to the teacher and the ENTIRE class. No one defended me to the teacher. 

Life lessons are tough but worth it.

[I am probably going to catch to heck for this one....at this stage in the game I. DO. NOT. CARE.] 

My husband was confronted by a parent, in front of my youngest child, another coach, and several players, and was told that they "could settle it in the road." [Hmmmm....is this like a duel or something?  Or a joust?  Oh...I see, you want to fight it out like middle schoolers.] The parent told my husband that he wasn't much of a Christian or a man if he fussed at his team like Short did after the loss. His reason?  The team lost but he didn't agree with my husband [aka THE HEAD COACH] fussing so harshly at the first baseman [aka OUR DAUGHTER] and the other players.  

Excuse me?  I have a few questions for you....

1. Do you want a coach that doesn't fuss when a team doesn't play to their potential?
2. I didn't know that a dad couldn't fuss at his daughter when she made a boneheaded play while running bases...is that a rule somewhere?
3. Was the fact that Short fussed at his daughter a crime?  He didn't touch her, belittle her, cuss at her, etc.
4. What right does this man [I use that term very loosely] have to question what we do with our daughter?  [I'll answer that one for you - absolutely none.]
5. Did he ever stop to think that verbalizing threats gets you in a whole heap of trouble?  [I'll answer this one too - no.] 

Let me paint this picture for you:  This parent thought he observed "abusive" behavior [aka getting your tail chewed because you just got beat by a team that shouldn't have beaten you]  towards my daughter [who was sitting with 15+ other players and coaches] and other players.  He then thought that gave him the right to confront a female coach then block my husband's truck in the parking lot and threaten him, in front of his son, another coach, and players.

Where in the world is this kind of behavior, by anyone, acceptable and why in the world do educators and coaches have to continue to put up with it?  

Yes. Here it is.
____________________________________________
My line in the sand.  

Gettin' My Spring On

So I've tried for nearly 45 minutes to get a stupid video from Youtube to embed into this stupid blog and the stupid thing is not working - STUPID!! [Ohhhhhh....Gabe says stupid is a bad word.] There you go....what I get for saying stupid over and over again.... You know what is stupid? People that think it's all about them. [Some of you are really scratchin' the noggin going, "Where the heck is she going with this one?"] Two words for you: Parents. Sports. Let's just say it's been a tough season so far. I cannot stand to sit in the bleachers and hear people talk about kids that are playing. Seriously? Are you kidding me? There is nothing more redneck [including me using a screw driver as a pointer in my classroom to show the answer to a question on a reflectance graph....Google that one my friends....reflectance graph, not screwdriver] than some IGNORANT fan, in the stands, complaining about a kid that is playing. THEY ARE KIDS!!! These are not professional athletes, getting paid bazillions of stupid [there I go again] dollars to play. They are playing because they want to be out there and they are still learning. And if they are not getting to play then perhaps they [That would include the parents who find it so easy to throw everyone else under the bus except for their kid] should reflect on what they need to be doing to get into the line-up or on the track or in the next series. Stop blaming everyone and excuse the cliche: THERE IS NO "I" IN "TEAM"!!! And here's another hint for you.... You are not entitled [just because you put on the uniform and you're on the team] to ANYTHING!! There is not a coach out there that owes you ANYTHING - you have to earn it. I'm not an athlete - don't even pretend to be one - but I am around them alot. I am simply sick to death of the entitlement that some think they are owed....especially when it's coming from parents. GROW UP and SHUT UP.... [Please excuse me while I put my soapbox neatly back in the closet.....] Now, in other news, it is springtime ladies and gentlemen. I simply cannot wait to see what blooms in my yard. [FYI - even when it blooms this chick ain't got a clue - I leave weeds and pull up flowers for goodness sake. Is there a gardening intervention?] My daddy is coming some time over the next few days to till us a place for a little garden - do you think I even know what to plant? Ummmm - NOOOO!! I was Googling gardening in NC today so that I know what I can plant and when. Emma's really excited so I hope it happens. As always, life at the Short house is most excellent.