Change is hard.
Changing jobs is tough.
Changing jobs when you are a teacher, in November, is not easy.
For me, it has been terribly hard.
I have done a lot of crying.
I like my new teaching gig. I instantly remembered what drew me to teach elementary school in the first place.
The kids are a hoot. [I've already been asked several questions about why my hair looks the way it does, am I really old or just old, and how much I weigh. Some I answered. Some I didn't.]
The hugs are plentiful. [If you're ever having a bad day just walk into a classroom full of first graders. They will hug you no matter who you are or what you look like.]
I share a classroom with another teacher and she's just awesome. We laugh. We bounce ideas off of each other. I am learning so very much from her. [Plus, she's super organized and has a great eye for detail. Me? Yeah...not so much.]
I have a routine but the days aren't exactly the same. [Makes perfect sense huh?] Keeps me on my toes.
I managed to find the Sundrop machine. And the bathroom. [Priorities. In that order.]
I have figured out that the best class to follow, anywhere, is the Pre-K group. [They dance. They twirl. They touch the wall and the floor. They sling their lunchboxes and drag their coats. They wave at everyone. They typically walk as slow as a human can possibly walk and still be considered in motion.] It is absolutely the greatest thing to be behind them.
As an adult, [I won't even pretend like I've always tried to be this way] I have tried so very hard to play the background. Sometimes I didn't take opportunities because I was afraid of how others would be affected. Sometimes I sold myself short [no pun intended there with short] because I didn't believe in myself or my abilities.
This time, I just took that leap of faith, trusting that God never puts us where He won't use us for His glory.
So why the tears? More than anything, the stress on me has been self-induced and has a name: Guilt.
I have felt so incredibly guilty leaving those kids at the middle school. [I'm certainly not saying that I am teacher extraordinaire. Maybe not even mediocre.] For all of their quirks and strange habits and egocentric ways, 8th graders are awesome.
I miss them.
But now I have to put my energy into learning as much as a I can from those who are the experts.
I have to put my energy into these new kids who are just as awesome.
I have to be the absolutely very best teacher I can for the kids I serve.
I have to be a team player and jump into getting to know everyone.
More than anything....I have to be OK with my decision to change.
I am thankful for a husband who has listened to me cry, who has encouraged me every single step of the way, but most of all, who has prayed for me. I am thankful for a family that has adjusted to a new schedule and changes that come along with that schedule. I am thankful for new co-workers who point me in the right direction when I look lost. I am thankful for old co-workers who have sent encouraging words.
Moving forward...with a thankful heart.