Monday, July 12, 2010

Mighty Dollar Rocks!

Gabe and Emma were wonderful this past weekend. We spent 15 hours on Saturday [OMG...the dirt and the stench was fabulous on the ride home] and almost 5 on Sunday watching Molly play softball in Spartanburg. Craig always promises them that if they are good then he'll give them the hook-up with a little prize. [Yes, children are ROTTEN!] Gabe and Emma LOVE the Dollar they can spend hours in there. So, as any good daddy would do, Craig came through on his promise and took them to the Mighty Dollar. [We spare no expense at the Short house...or papartment.] They left the Mighty Dollar just as happy as a kid in a candy store....expect they were two kids in a dollar store....OK, you know what I mean. Emma got some slingys [or slinkies to you and I] and Gabe got some guns [because 48 Nerf guns and a million darts all over the place isn't enough is it?] The people that name these joints are so very creative: Dollar Tree, Dollar General, Might Dollar. I would have gone with The Crap that Should Cost a Dollar at Any Store Store.

At Molly's game on Sunday, her team did not play so well. At one point, Craig was frustrated with a comment made by the coach on the opposing team so he says, "Stupid coach!" within earshot of us under the tent. [The same exact thing he asks the fans and parents in his stands at his games NOT to do....shame, shame.] Well, of course, Gabe heard him [because he NEVER misses a thing we say] and he repeats it: Yeah, be quiet you stupid coach! I smacked Craig square on the back of his head and he apologized. And Gabe added, "Yeah're not supposed to say stupid. That's not nice." This is the same kid that told us to turn off the damn TV last week....

Speaking of softball I learned a lot this weekend about parents. [I mean, some of this I knew already, but I saw some things that were simply stupid....sssshhhhh - don't tell Gabe I said that.] A former player of Craig's [She quit the high school team with 8 games left] and former teammate of Molly's [for the last 5 years] was playing against us on her new team. [Incidentally, she quit Molly's travel team for the same reason she quit Craig's HS team - she is selfish and not interested in being a teammate.] During the game [she's a pitcher] she was sitting in the dugout, calling out girls on our team, telling her teammates on her new team that this girl is a weak hitter and that this girl hits to this side. Then, she got on base and was telling the girls that were hitting [yelling from second base] that if our pitching coach holds up a certain sign then the pitcher will throw a pitch outside and this sign means a pitch inside - right outloud, for everyone to hear. Direct reflection of her parents is all I have to say. What are we teaching our kids if we allow them to be a selfish teammate who quits when things don't go our way? What are we teaching our kids if we see them showing unsportsman like behavior and we say nothing? Why do you want to play a team sport if all you want is for YOU to be #1? As Short says so eloquently....Her leaving [both teams] was addition by subtraction.

At these same softball games, I also enjoyed watching the people. Parents get really upset about dumb things and they act as if the world may end if the Blues [the umpires] don't give their team a call or if the other team does something they think is wrong. I mean, it is travel softball you get this upset when you see a starving homeless person? I love watching Molly play and I want her team to do well - don't get me wrong - but my life does not revolve around fastpitch softball. [Actually, neither does hers....] We have a sign hanging on our refrigerator that says, "I want to play Division I softball." And I want Molly to be successful at reaching her goal BUT I will not allow her to be disrespectful, selfish, rude, and unsportsman like in order to get her there. [No...I'm not a perfect parent - I'm just a realist.] So far, I think Craig and I have done a pretty good job at teaching her that softball is a privilege and that being a Godly woman, a good role model for her siblings, and a person who never quits is what will make her successful.

We've decided that every person here at the apartment complex has a new name that begins with Super Weird. There is Super Weird Dad Guy that tried to take Cooper under his wing by asking pointed questions about Craig and his whereabouts. [Feel totally great he knew Craig's comings and goings.] And Super Weird Cat on a Leash Lady that lives right beside us. [Though I am quite sure she may be scared of us since Emma shot an enormous Nerf dart - as in it has a 5 in diameter - directly at the wall that we share. Seriously, I almost peed on myself so I am sure she was scared on the other side of the wall.] Craig and Molly have also named a guy Super Weird, Super White Guy after seeing him act very strange at the pool one day. There you have it....We are living in the land of the Super Weirds, complete with a supporting cast of the actors from Deliverance. [I am sure there is a also a Super Weird Banjo Playing Guy somewhere...I know I keep hearing Dueling Banjos...maybe it's just stuck in my head.] On the upside, the Super Weird Neighbors/Terrorists upstairs moved to a house, apartment, or perhaps compound, somewhere else.

As always, even in Super Weird Land, life is good :)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Downward Dog Say What?!

Tonight I decided to start yoga again. I have several DVDs [We have four kids...I can't afford the Y or a gym so I allow my family the opportunity to make fun of me while I work out. It is great.] that I use [or don't use]. I pulled out the good ol' Biggest Loser Weight Loss Yoga. I like this one because I can start slow and work my way up by choosing the options I like [or don't like].

Gabe and Emma decided they would work out with me. [Oh joy.] Now, of course, Gabe was in his underwear and had been for most of the evening. Emma was in her Easter dress because she was preparing for the big tea party with Molly. The workout began with the warmup and I laughed so hard at Gabe. First of all, he was in his underwear. [Tighty whities that are green, with a Triceritops on the fanny] Secondly, his arms are not quite long enough to meet over his head. [Not to mention he has a large noggin...from his daddy's side of the family.]. Lastly, he kept pushing on me to help him balance. I can barely balance on my own [Seriously, I have tripped while simply] so having him push on me was no fun. One of Cooper's apartment hooligans [Deliverance baby] knocked on the door so I paused the tape. While telling this young man that it was 8:45pm and Cooper was in for the night, Gabe decided he'd had enough downward dog - he cut the TV off. Now that is not the funny part....

Me: Gabe what are you doing? I'm not finished!
Gabe: Let's just turn this damn TV off...I don't want to do this anymore!
Me [Thinking I heard what I thought was the word DAMN]: What did you say?
Gabe: I said let's just cut this damn TV off. I don't want to do this anymore!
Me: Gabe that isn't a nice word - you know better.
Gabe: Well I don't want to watch anymore damn TV

At this point, Emma has completely melted into the couch because she is laughing so hard, Gabe is standing guard at the TV, almost daring me to cut the damn thing back on, and I am torn between smacking his fanny or laughing hysterically....I did both. He got reprimanded while I hid my face in my shirt. What in the world will I do with him? Really?!

Emma pointed out, during the video workout, that the girl in the video was skinny and didn't need to do the yoga. "Are you talking about mommy?", I asked. "No, I'm talking about the girl in the video. You still need to do it mommy." I guess I shouldn't have asked should I?

Molly is not usually part of my blogging.[Not that I don't love her or find her funny enough to relay to the, no...she is just the only normal one in our house and I don't want to ruin that for her.] Today, she happened to have on a pair of my shoes. I love tall, wedge-heeled shoes. [I am short.] Somehow she ended up finding these under the kitchen table. [That's just how we roll at the Short are EVERYWHERE.] I made her walk in them...that was a sight! She is very athletic [Not that she isn't feminine and beautiful but she just isn't your girly girl - she prefers flip flops.] and seeing her in these shoes was so funny - she could not walk. She sort of hobbled, as if her legs were seperate from her body, so I made her walk to the living room to show Craig and Cooper. [Cooper is still taller than her, even when she's wearing 3 inches heels.] She is a mess...and I love her!

There is someone always laughing at the Short house...just the way I like it!

Sunday, July 4, 2010


Happy 4th of July!!! What a great day to celebrate the wonderful country we live in and celebrate our freedoms that we often take for granted. Special thanks to our troops, who live in harm's way, so that we can be free. [See...I do have serious thoughts...not often but it does happen.]

We drove up to the top of the apartment complex [i.e. The Deliverance Gathering Place] to see the fireworks on Friday night. Gabe fell asleep before we could make it to the mall so we decided that we live close enough we could just catch them here. [Plus, we beat the traffic and all the people...we are so smart.] Of course, Emma wants to change into her pjs before we ride up there [Considering some of the attire we've seen around here lately, we said OK.] and Gabe suddenly finds new life. When we got to the top of the lot, Gabe refused to get out of the car. [When I say refused I do mean refused.] He told us he wasn't even going to watch them and he pulled his blanket over his head and covered his ears. As soon as the fireworks started, he went into survival mode. Seriously, the first loud boom nearly sent him into a frenzy. He really hates loud noises. [Some of you are shaking your head and wondering why I subjected my curly headed baby to loud noises if he doesn't like them. I really have no good answer. I like fireworks.] We did catch him sneaking a peek at them a few times. Thank goodness they only lasted like 13 minutes or we might have been in trouble.

Last night we decided to take them to the fireworks in Kings Mountain. [Now some of you are shaking your head again and you are wondering why I subjected Gabe to the these loud noises he so desperately hates....stay with me, people, and let me tell the ENTIRE story before throwing me under the bus.] Our first idea was to go to the pressbox at the stadium and sit up there. But when we got there, we realized the walking track lights and the tennis court lights were on and that might interfere with the fireworks. [Plus, I was so totally not into climbing the pressbox and watching Gabe and Emma way up there.] So we headed to the overpass at Oak Grove Road. [For those of you not familiar with the fireworks in KM it is really a great place to come watch them. You can actually park right off the don't have to search for an empty parking lot or get into tons of traffic.] We picked this spot for two reasons: It was close to the stadium and the noise would not be loud because we were so far away. [See...I'm not such a bad mommy. I took him somewhere so that he didn't have to hear the noise.] Of course, he was not convinced that he couldn't hear them. It took him about 5 minutes into the show to realize I was right and he finally enjoyed a good fireworks show. [This one lasted 35 minutes as compared to the Shelby fireworks' 13 minutes.] When the show was over, and we were headed back up the road, Gabe told us that he really liked the fireworks:

Gabe: Those fireworks were really good tonight!
Me: Yes they were. Did you enjoy that?
Gabe: Yes! Those Shelby fireworks sucked.
[At this point, Craig and I began to laugh...uncontrollably!]
Gabe: Well they did suck!
You can't argue with honesty can you?

Today, during our lunch, Craig made us watch the Coney Island hotdog eating contest. Ok, first of all, I think it is totally disgusting to force food into your mouth. Secondly, I cannot stand to watch other people gorge themselves with food...nasty. Lastly, who wants to eat a soggy hotdog bun? [Yet, we watched it....all 10 disgusting minutes.] Thank goodness Joey Chestnut kept his title...the world really is a better place.

Please continue to pray for my dear, sweet friend Mindy. If you want to join our team and run or walk in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in October, then just leave me a comment or shoot me an email: If you want to buy a t-shirt then do the same. But, above all, if you will simply pray....pray for Mindy's upcoming visit with the surgeon [Wednesday, July 7]; pray for the doctors that will be taking care of her and designing her treatment plan; pray for her girls [Mallory and Natalie] and for her husband [Ronnie] as they prepare to be strong with her and for her; pray for her sisters [Jenny and Sue] and for her parents [Daddy Bill and Jannine] as they also will be her comforters and strength during this time; pray for her as she faces this monster we call breast cancer. God has a plan and Mindy's faith is strong....she will be victorious! Love and hugs to Mindy!!

As as a Short is good :)