Saturday, March 19, 2011

Hey Mommy!

Those are Emma and Gabe's two most favorite words - Hey Mommy! Sometimes, when I am in my own little world [FYI ~ It is fabulously fun here but you are not's my world ~ I get to make the rules!] I get irritated with them. Sometimes it is because they've said it for the 1000th time in the last five minutes and sometimes it is because I am extremely selfish and self-consumed. Guilt...what a wonderful tool. I am not perfect [Shocker to some of you I know but now is a good time to tell you ~ I couldn't stand the thought of perpetuating the lie any longer] nor do I pretend to be the perfect parent....I am FAR from it. I don't do enough for my children. Hence my Facebook status from a few weeks ago: Ever had something hit you like a ton of bricks? [....If I could only stop my mind from wonderin' what I left behind and from worrying 'bout this wasted time ~ Eagles] I don't want to wake up one day and realize my children grew up and I was too busy worrying about my career to notice. We had the best afternoon because we were together...that is truly all that matters :) So how do I find the balance between my awesome but incredibily demanding job(s) [Yes, that is an s. We are both teachers - did you really think that just one job was enough?] and being the mom,wife, daughter, sister, etc. that I need to be? I pray about this - constantly. I guess I am just at that point in my life where it all seems to be so much and it is hard to keep everything flowing in the right direction.

And in the grand scheme of things, my kids just want mom and her undivided attention. And while I have to work [because I have those nasty habits like wanting to eat and keep a roof over my head] I know I need to focus more on them and less on me. So, like most of you, trying to be super career woman while being super mom isn't all it is cracked up to be. And not what God intended for my life. I don't think it is settling for less but having more.

Gabe came flying into my bathroom last night: Hey Mommy I have great news!
Me: What baby?
Gabe [opening the shower door to look me in the eye]: I found my Toy Story teddy bear!
Me: That is awesome!
Gabe: Yes Mommy it is! I've been missing him.

Balance. Priorities. And saying, "Yes sweet baby?" to ALL of the "Hey Mommys" I get.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Favorites...Short Style

Oprah has her show each year where she gives away Oprah's favorite things like pocket books, cell phones, vacations, etc. [I don't even watch Oprah...I am more like a Springer girl....don't judge my redneck family] I thought I would share the Short family favorites tonight. [However do not expect me to supply you with powdered donuts, diet Sundrop, and Blackwoods but thanks again for reading.]

Favorite TV Show: Friday Night Lights [Tim Riggins might just be the world's most beautiful man], The Office [That's what she said!] , Kings of Queens [That's how Gabe says it] , and Dual Survival. Now we all have our gulty pleasures....Emma's is Dog the Bounty Hunter [What is up with Beth? Is she for real?], Cooper likes Lizard Lick Towing [We are probably kin to some of the folks on there....the ones getting their stuff repossesed] Craig enjoys the hell, fire, and brimstone of the cable access ministers, Molly lives for Cupcake Wars, and I am the news junkie [Do not get in the way of me and the Today show....well until Hoda and Kathie Lee come on....then I want to hurl something at the TV.] What about Gabe? He knows EVERY commercial on TV -he will watch ANYTHING!

Favorite Greasy Spoon: Blackwoods!! [It is safe to say that we eat there so much that when Craig calls they know what we want.]

Favorite Homemade Dinner: That would be a toss up between grilled hamburgers [We live with the self-proclaimed King of the Burger] or breakfast for dinner.

Favorite Watch Over and Over Again Movies: Dumb and Dumber [GABE can quote this movie], O' Brother Where Art Thou? [Come on in fellers...the water is fine], Blades of Glory, and Nacho Libre [It is nothing for the kiddos to break out in "The fantasy has ended..and all the children are gone..."].

Favorite Stupid Sayings: Schmaaa [Don't me], Captain Obvious [Again, even GABE uses this one] , "Cooper! I've been meaning to tell you....." [Again, don't ask] , "You smell like cheese and feet", and finally, "Oh yeah!" [You have to see this one in person.]

Favorite Things to Do on the Weekends: Ball. softball...soon to be T ball.

Favorite Chores: Craig - he is the resident laundry man [Thank goodness because if left up to me we all really would smell like cheese and feet]; Cooper - Resident toilet scrubber and trash man; Molly - Chief babysitter and dust girl; Emma - What? Are you kidding me? The DIVA does not lift a finger, Gabe - CEO of Making a Mess Any and Everywhere, Inc. , an d me - head chef and kitchen cleaner.

Favorite Snacks: Poptarts, cereal, fruity gummies, honey BBQ potato chips, fried onions straws, peanut butter, bars, and several other odds and ends. [Notice I didn't include carrots or anything green ~ they would die.]

Favorite Thing to Do When We Are Together: Laugh :)

Oprah can continue to spend millions on gifts for the audience - I will take a good game of "Slap the Booty" or hide-n-go seek tag anyday with the five most favorite people in my life. Thank you God for family.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Stay Tuned for Identity Crisis

My blog [] is really having an identity crisis. Please bear with me [er....I mean the blog] . Thanks for your support. [It's the elementary school teacher side of me - I liked changing bulletin boards and themes in my classroom. I can't help that I'm creative and more than slightly indecisive.]

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Just Wondering....

I go to the grocery store every weekend [Yes,I lead a very boring and simple life - sue me for being predictable]. My ritual is to hit Aldi first then Wal-Mart...I have it down to a science. I follow my list and get in, then get out. The last two weekends I have had this group ask me for money outside of Wal-Mart. Last weekend I truly did not have any money.
[Shocker but I actually used the check card instead of using cash ~ Short had a very weak moment.] Yesterday,I did have money and had it been the Girl Scouts [Who can resist some GS cookies?] or a church or a ball team or the Salvation Army ringer then yes, I would have been glad to give them money. This group today was called Teens United Across America and they are raising money for a teen center here in Shelby. They were selling carmel corn. Something just does not strike me as legitimate with this group [And those of you that know me well know that I am a bleeding heart - I will buy candy bars, doughnuts, and other stuff to support kids in our community]. It is not my place to decide how the money is used but to my knowledge there is not a youth center planned here in Shelby. I don't mind giving but not today.

I took the smallest Shorties letterboxing today. As soon as we got out of the car and began walking down the trail I began to immediately regret the decision to have Gabe with me. [Some of you are going, "Awwww..poor Gabe." Don't feel sorry for him - he is ROTTEN.] We read exactly half the clue when he started with his "I'm hot and tired and my feet hurt" monologue. We had yet to find one letterbox and he was ready to go....there were 7 on this trail. He did OK [When he wasn't picking up random sticks and stopping to pee] until it was time to go. The boy LOVES my cell phone [Actually he loves anything electronic] so he was taking pictures of everything. He may have called China for all I know....

In other news I have decided that keeping my car clean [on the inside] is so very overrated. [Craig does not share this sentiment with me. He hates my car. He doesn't drag 4 kids all over creation or put on his makeup in the car every least I don't think he does the makeup thing.] He made some comments about the car looking trashy and hillbilly....I was too busy scraping gum and Fruit Loops off my pants to listen. Yes, I could clean it up. Yes, I could make the kids keep it cleaner. No, ain't gonna happen. He should just stick to his tiny truck...or stop complaining. [He would really cringe if he saw my desk at school ~ let's just say that I "find" things there frequently.] He will get over it...eventually...or he will clean it out [which is what I am shooting for]

So I was just wondering about some things tonight....
A. Do gumball trees really serve a purpose? Those things are ALL over my yard...yeah.
2. Why does Gabe think that sleeping is overrated? Here we are - at 11:28pm on Sunday night - and he'still awake.
3. Glitter multiplies [as in very quickly] and there is nothing that any man can do to stop it. Emma got a paint splatter thingy for her birthday [Yeah....just what we needed....something else to sling a mess all over...isn't that Gabe's job?] We used it last weekend and I am still finding glitter everywhere. It's a natural phenomenon that cannot be explained.

4. Why can't my kids see the mess in the kitchen sink? Is it invisible to them?
5. Why does my husband like to watch those cable access preaching shows at night? He is obsessed...he knows what time they come on...he knows the people on each show...creepy.
6. Why can't I just go outside and run 4 or 5 miles and not feel like my lungs are going to collapse?
7. I want to have money...more money than I can count...then Craig won't have to worry so much. We work hard and we are well educated. How hard is it to win the lottery these days?
And finally, 8. How do they get those boats inside those glass bottles?

As always...penniless or not, life as a Short is good :)

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Pajamas, Popcorn, and Presents

The Diva had her first PJ party this past Friday. [Well, to correct me, the mere peasant, it was a Princess Pajama Party] There was nail painting, make-up, and of course, pajamas. There were 7 little girls [and so many of you thought I was crazy for having 7, plus Emma, over to spend the night - oh how you doubted me!!!] plus three older girls [Molly, Emily, and Haley]. Justin Bieber was the man [I use that term very lightly] of the hour and then Taylor Swift came on the scene. There was dancing - lots and lots of dancing. Three pillow fights broke out in the midst of the dancing - that was funny!

We ordered them chicken nuggets and fries for dinner. I would have opted for pizza but knowing how picky my own children are I was afraid that everyone wouldn't like pizza. Craig went early in the day and ordered 100 nuggets for me. [We were afraid 50 wouldn't be enough ~ plus Molly made a stink about feeding her or something like that...I really wasn't listening that closely] The nuggets were a hit and there was enough left over for Molly and Gabe the next day. [My only complaint was having to handle the Ranch dressing bottle and then having to clean up Ranch dressing off the plates. That stuff is so makes me gag. ]

After cake, cheese doodles [ice cream is SO overrated], and more Sierra mist the Diva opened her gifts. One Webkinz, tiara, PJs, new shirt, craft kits, Toy Story 3 Barbie, Barbie Makeup, McDonald's gift card, and some money later all the little darlins were holed up in Molly's room, playing Truth or Dare. [Emma's turn: Truth or Dare? Molly: Truth . Emma: Did we stretch Dr. Suess' hat all the way around the school or not? Molly (taking a big leap of faith here): Not. Emma: You are soooooo wrong!! This game was serious folks. I am super surprised we didn't have a cat fight or something.]

Finally, around 10:15 or so, I made a huge pallet in the living room, and commenced to getting everyone to go to the bathroom so we could go to sleep. [They drank 24 miniature Sierra Mist so I had to make a drink run at 9:30 - these girls were seriously thirsty] By 11 all the little princess' were sound asleep [and one of them snores], the prince [Gabe] was asleep on the couch, and I patted myself on the back - one perfect princess pajama party complete :)

It's been a fantastic weekend at the Short house. Craig and Cooper went to Anderson, SC for a basketball tournament. He texted me Saturday morning to tell me that he forgot to pack his socks and underwear. [Yes, that means one of two things: A. He opted not to wear undies or B. He wore the dirty ones. Not that ANYONE (including me) cares but he chose the latter. And he wore a pair of clean socks from Cooper. I guess I need to start checking behind him like I do Emma....can't send him anywhere can I?] Craig took me on a "date" to the matinee then out to eat. [Cheap date but date nonetheless.....] We saw Liam Neeson's Unknown - awesome movie! I love Liam Neeson ~ he is one bad dude. We also ate a little Mexican at the Don Ramone's in Shelby. I love my Mr. Short :) Plus, we enjoyed a great Tarheel victory!!

The Diva got her ears pierced today....and she didn't even shed a tear or flinch! [Nana says she hopes this isn't the beginning of many piercings...and/or tattoos....I guess we will see....] And, I took Gabe grocery shopping - ^%$@!$%&*><":} is about all I have to say about that....

As always, life as a Short is good :) Have an awesome week!!