Girl, Git Outta My Grill!!

Emma told Molly that she had a problem with a little girl at school today. Being the awesome big sister that Molly is, she asked all about the problems that Emma had and this is their conversation:

Emma: Molly, today this girl was talking to me and she was really close to my face.
Molly: What did you do?
Emma: I looked at her and said, " Girl, git outta my grill 'cause you are standing too close!"
Molly: Next time tell her, "Girl, you all up in my grill, cookin' on it so step back!" [or something remotely close to that]
Emma (giggling): Ok sissy!

Prior to this conversation, Molly and Emma shared another sister moment in my classroom. Emma got on one of my tables and danced for us. Molly yells at her and tells her to "shake her booty more" and when Emma doesn't quite comply the way Molly thinks she should then Molly jumps up on the table. "You have to shake your booty like this Emma!" [OMG...Molly has a lot of "junk in her trunk" (I can say that - I am her mother) and it was a little scary watching her dance on the table. So scary that I ordered both of them down, immediately.] So now do I need to worry about Molly taking Emma to Vegas? I'm getting really, really nervous.....

Cooper had math team homework tonight that he wanted help with and he asked ME for help....oh my, he was desperate wasn't he? I taught fifth grade for 10 years but the last year and half of teaching science has wiped out any brain cells left that held fifth grade material. I think we laughed more than we worked but we eventually figured out the problems - let's just hope we got them correct. That would really be embarassing: My mom taught fifth grade for 10 years but she really sucks at helping me with my homework. Really...thanks Mom.

As a teacher, I simply love report card day. [Not really....but it sounded teachery] What I especially love [No sarcasm here - what are you talking about?] is when students ask this question: Why did you give me this grade? Today, I reallly wanted to answer with this:

Hmmmmmmm...let me think carefully before I answer this question so as not to mislead you. Last night, after I drank the blood of a cat and sacrificed a snake over an open flame, I got out the wheel of death. But that seemed too harsh a punishment for you so I decided on the other wheel - the wheel of grades. Upon spinning this wheel, I cast a spell that sounded something like this, "This student is in my class and most of the time he acts like an.....................angel. So wheel I put you to the test - please make his grade the very best!" Unfortunately, I've been meaning to replace the spring on the pin that clicks as you spin the wheel. The dang pin popped out and caused the entire wheel to tilt slightly to the east, thus messing with the alignment of the moon and the west facing mushroom and the wheel of grades. When the wheel finally came to a stop, your grade was a D. Better luck next time!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU ASK ME HOW COULD I GIVE YOU THAT GRADE? YOU EARNED IT!!!

Geez......is it that hard to understand? Yet, inevitably, some kid will ask me this exact question. Babies...I love you but I don't "give" you random grades. I want you to be successful...that's why I am a teacher.

Gabe is going to be a police "ocifer" when he grows up, Emma and Molly can already table dance, Cooper is taller than me, and I am not smarter than a fifth grader.....and life is good :)

Missy ♥