Confessions, Lies, and Other Half Truths

I laugh at myself sometimes. [Some of you probably have laughed with me....or about me.] As you know [or have figured out] I love me some Internet. It's like an addiction of sorts. I have my favorite sites like Facecrack, The Shelby Star, MSNBC, and The Charlotte Disturber [I think I'm afraid I might miss some random piece of worthless news or something]. I also do a lot of "shopping" [like window shopping but not through the window] at places like Target.com, Ebay, Etsy, Uncommon Goods, and Under Armour [I'm married to a coach - we like some UA at the Short house]. I love blogs and follow a bunch [I am such a geek :)] and sometimes I just like to do the Google thing and look for lesson plans or interesting things to do with my kids at school. I personally believe that the 'Net is the greatest thing since sliced white bread - thank you Al Gore [Bahahahahahahaha!!!]. I need a 12 step program for Internet addictions....let me go Google that....

Another confession? I really do like the color pink [well, more fuschia] . All these years I've tried to deny it and wear my pink only on occasion but honestly, it happens to be an awesome color. There I said it Stephanie - are you happy?

Still another confession: I am a terrible decorator. I have zero sense of how things are supposed to go together when it comes to decorating. Seriously, I am decorating challenged [some of you would say I'm challenged in a lot of ways but we're not talking about those at the moment so hush] and it's kind of embarassing. I think, as a woman, you're supposed to know those things but I don't have a clue.

Confession number next? I cannot stand pets. I do not want a dog or a cat or a fish or anything that moves and isn't human. I do not want a dog licking me in the face or jumping on me. I can take a cat because they usually do not want attention like dogs. I guess that would account for the fact that four out of four of my kids are almost deathly afraid of dogs - I've done that to them. Sorry to all of you dog lovers out there. I love you dearly....as long as you keep the pooch at home :)

[I should have been on Oprah's last episode with all this baggage I'm letting go of....feels good to get these out in the open.] I love 80s music. Like really, really love 80s music. Culture Club, Janet Jackson, Atlantic Star, Chicago, Wham! [That's what she said....bahahahahahaha], Duran Duran, Bryan Adams, and the list goes on and on and on. I had several really great CDs that Short made me take to the Goodwill [damn him] so now I am forced to get my 80s fix via Youtube or infomercials selling 80s compilation albums [which I would buy if I had access to my checkcard...which I don't]. I also like those hairbands!! Nothing like a little Love Song from Tesla or Uncle Tom's Cabin from Warrant blaring from the speakers. Reminds me of simpler days when all I worried about was having enough gas in the car to cruise the court square with my BFF [aka Stephanie]. And I would be lying if I didn't confess that I totally love Air Supply [You know you do too so just admit it. Now.]

One of my favorite artists from "back in the day" is Elton John. My dad and I used to Jam to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds and Levon. My sister and I saw Sir Elton John in concert one time and it was pretty cool. You have to confess that Rocket Man and Bennie and the Jets makes ya tap your toes a little.

Last confession of the night....I want to write a book. I have a story to tell [whether or not you want to hear it is a different story] so one day I'm gonna write it. There is no doubt that God has worked on me lately and I am listening [or trying really, super hard to listen] and there was a time when I wasn't sure who I was because I didn't believe in me or that God had a plan for me. Better than that, once I realized it wasn't ever about me then life became something so wonderfully awesome that I want everyone to know. Stay tuned.....

Lies? Is that really in the title? Hmmmmmm....good lies or bad lies - is there a difference? My lie sort of goes along with my huge addiction to Diet Sundrop. [Seriously, I've said it before and I am saying it again - I just need and IV bag and a pole and I would be happy] I cannot stop drinking it. LIE. I want to stop drinking it. LIE. I've tried really hard to stop drinking it. BIG FAT WHOPPING LIE....LIE OF ALL LIES. [Some of you are rolling your eyes 'cause you thought you'd hear something gossipy that I've lied about, like a long lost "love" child with the Governator or Hole 19 with Tiger. Nope. Just a citrus elixir that makes my taste buds tingle and my heart skip a beat (which probably has something to do with the massive amounts of caffiene I take in daily....hmmmm)]

Half truths might be hard. I think we can make anything we want half the truth or half a lie - it depends on how we are going to look or feel about something. For example, I had a HUGE crush on a particular B-O-Y in high school. It is a half lie to say that I simply liked him - I was infatuated, like head over heels, prime time in love. Of course, he never really noticed me, and it would then be a half lie to say that I was merely upset. He was to be my prince in shining armor [or a shiny car] and sweep me off my feet ['Cause that MASH game we used to play said so and that adding all of our similar letters in our full names to find our love percentage meant we were totally supposed to be together...except someone forgot to tell him....'cause he didn't notice me at all] So half a truth would not work in this situation. I was devasated when he did, sort of act like he liked me, to only use this act to go out with a friend but I'm not bitter. At all. Nope. I'm over it. (half truth!!!) Truthfully, [whole truth and nothin' but the truth] it all came out in the wash. See, God always has a plan because if he had noticed me then maybe my favorite coach would be someone else's favorite coach. So, thank goodness God knows better than me.

Gabe asked me to help him put his Spiderman toy together tonight. When I did, this is what he said to me:
Thanks Mommy! You are so cool. You know how to fix lots of things at our house.

Fix things? Supper, cookies, and broken hearts are my specialty. Cool? Craig told me yesterday I was as cool as a penguin's ass so I'm guessing that will work. Love being told that I'm cool and good at fixing things by my favorite four year old militant midget? Heck to the Y-E-S!!!

One more confession [or several more confessions] before I go to bed....I've never seen Gone with the Wind, I made an F in science and engineering calculus at UNCC as a freshman [and it took me six years to squeeze in four years worth of college - but who's counting?], I cannot stand reality TV, I want a Jaguar [the car not the cat], I hated high school [worst years ever], I have uttered the words "This one time, at band camp...." with a story to follow, I would like to help coach track one day, I would love to pick up my golf clubs and learn to really play, I still want to see the space shuttle go into space [Early july?] , I have every album I've ever owned in my attic, I am scared of the dark but LOVE scary movies and books, I was on Team Edward [but really liked it when Jacob took his shirt off], and I think that teaching school is the best job anyone could have.

As always, life as a Short is just good :) [And that is the absolute truth!]

PS: This video covers both Hairband and 80s criteria mentioned above. And it makes me smile :)