Front Porches

I arrived home yesterday afternoon to a complaining husband [as if Short's complaining is news to anyone....especially me]. His complaint was that we HAD to get a new mattress and it had to be right then. [Now, correct me if I'm wrong but does one just all of a sudden HAVE to have a new mattress? I mean, if your mattress spontaneously combusts then yes, there would be a need for a new mattress. But an aching back does not require a new mattress...does it?] I knew that his back had been hurting for a while but yesterday was apparently the straw that broke the camel's back [Or the mattress that broke Craig's back] and so we were off to shop for a new mattress.

Shopping for a mattress is an interesting experience. It's not like shopping for other furniture: a chair or a sofa you can simply sit on, a kitchen table you can sit at but a mattress requires a little more work. You have to lay down on the it [and with other people watching, that is just weird] and make sure you like it. And with Craig that was even more weird because he said, "You can't just lay back on it so lay like you do when you are sleeping." [First of all, I'm in a room full of strange people so laying on this mattress is going to be nothing like it is when I am sleeping...unless I sleep in a room full of strange people!!!!!] So he made me turn on my side and lay there a minute. Then entire time I am thinking, "How many people before me, that actually laid down on this exact bed, actually bathed before shopping for a new mattress? Or even bathed in the last two days? Or two weeks? I am so going to get the cooties while shopping for a mattress."

Fast forward to last night, when we arrived home with the new mattress. We had to move the old mattress out to put the new one in [and some of you are now thinking, "Thank you Captain Obvious"] and of course, like any good redneck, we moved the old one to our front porch. No, no - no time to put in on the back of the truck last night - we just left it on the front porch. We finally decided to take it to the dump at around 12:30pm today.

So that made me think about riding by houses and seeing all kinds of crap sitting on other folks front porches. What possess a person to just say, "Hell, we need a new fridge so we'll just put the old one on the front porch and leave it." [Maybe I'm the only one that thinks about these things.] If something breaks or needs fixin' then surely there are other places to put things besides the front porch. [I'm not trying to be judgemental or condescending or any of those other fancy things....well, maybe I am trying for a little sarcasm here....] I mean we could've left our mattress sitting there for three or four days [or weeks...or years] but why would we? Just seems like a little bit of laziness to not just haul away your old furniture or appliances [or trash]. I don't live in a fancy smancy house in an ultra swanky neighborhood and leaving the old mattress on the porch for over 12 hours was slightly embarassing [and a lot redneck].

For the record, Short's back didn't hurt quite as bad this am...thank goodness. And if you rode by my house and saw a mattress on the front porch rest assured we did finally move it. Wishing all of you an awesome [and a clutter free front porch] for 2011.