Apartment Swimming...Oh my!

Emma and Gabriel wanted to go swimming at the apartment swimming pool today. [I cringe at the thought of public swimming pools - is chlorine really that good?] Craig had to get Gabe some swimmie things to wear on his arms so he stops at Dollar General [only the best for the Short kids] and picks up the first box he sees. [Which just happened to be big enough to fit on my arm...way to go Dad!] We decided to try to "fix" them [No, no duct tape involved this time.] so we tried bobby pins first [Random thought: Why are they called bobby pins anyway? Why not Tom, Dick, or Harry pins? The things we think....] and when that didn't work I stapled them. [You might be a redneck if your son is wearing swimmie things that are stapled.]

We arrive at the pool and guess what? The entire cast from Deliverance was there...we should have heeded the warning of the banjos we heard in the distance and opted for staying in our "unit". The list of pool rules in conspicuously posted and the first rule? No alcoholic beverages. My diet Sundrop was the ONLY non-alcoholic drink around the tiny pool. And of course, someone was listening to the race. [Short would rather be strung up by his toe nails than listen to, look at, or even talk about NASCAR.] Against my better judgement, I allowed Gabe [and his stapled swimmies] and Emma to jump in the pool. They spent about 10 minutes in there when Gabe began to grab his fanny so I asked, "Gabe. What is wrong?", to which he responded, "I pooped...but it was just an accident." OMG - He did what? Seriously....he is potty trained and we haven't had an accident in months. As not to startle the other pool patrons [Or heaven forbid, interrupt the race] I gingerly grabbed his hand and motioned to the pool and to Craig. I whispered to him, "I think there is some in the pool." I take Gabe back to hose him down [to the "unit"] and Craig sends Cooper the Pooper Scooper in the pool [With his good shorts on] and Cooper discovers that what I was seeing were actually leaves in the pool. ["Ewww...it has a stem!"] Apparently Gabe's tarrying on the edge of the pool was not working up the nerve to do another cannonball but working up something else - he never got in the pool with the "accident" in his pants.

After my return to the pool I find Cooper in the pool throwing a football with a slightly older girl. Before I could ask, Craig sends me a text message [He is sitting right beside me] to tell me that she [slightly older girl throwing football with Coop] just told Mr. Clean [aka man across the pool, appearing to be older than 50 but still thinking he is only a little older than 25] that she is a professional wrestler [Does not shock me in the slightest considering the clientale at the pool.] to which Mr. Clean replies, "Well that kicks ass!" Yes...yes it does. You might be a redneck if you live here....I'm just sayin...

Tomorrow we are off to Nana and Paw Paw's to kick off the summer [I wish I could say that no one in my family had ever been a professional wrestler but that would be a lie - another story for another time. And my dad has no rules against alcholic beverages at his pool. And everyone will be wearing a bathing suit that fits.] Life as a Short (and a Byrum) is awesome!

Missy ♥