And I Quote

I am a people watcher [weird I know but that's me] and I love to listen to random bits of conversation [I know...that is even more weird and creepy. I'm not a stalker...].  I wouldn't call it evesdropping as much as I just happen upon someone talking and I pay attention as I walk past them in Wal-Mart [great place to people watch], the grocery store, the ball field, etc. It's funny what we think when we hear random bits of information, out of context sometimes, and not meant for us to hear.
Overheard in the hall at school before break:
Boy 1 [talking to another boy]: Get your hand out of my pants Johnny! [As always, names are changed to protect the innocent...or extremely embarassed.]
Boy 2 [dumfounded that about 30 people just thought he had his hand down another boy's pants]: I hate you.

Overheard at the ballfield:
Person #1 talking to KM fan #1: She had to go to the hospital because her foot touched a leaf.
Person #2 [which happens to be me] ask KM Fan #2: What kind of leaf sends you to the hospital?
[And what actually happened is she had to go to the hospital because she had an allergic reaction to Aleve....which makes way more sense...]

Witnessed at a Shoney's [yes fine dining was always on our radar when on vacation] in Daytona Beach a million moons ago:
Waitress: Do you want soup or salad?
My sister: Well if the salad is that good I'll have that! [She thought the waitress asked if she wanted a SUPER salad.]

Overheard at a table next to us at an IHOP [not sure if that is a step up or back from Shoney's] on the way back from a weekend football game at UT:
Man: You know, when I was stationed in California we used to eat at a place like this but it was called something else.
Woman: I remember.  It wasn't called IHOP.  It was called the International House of Pancakes.
[Now Craig and I have just had to turn our heads because they were serious.]
Man: Yes you are right.  But they look just like this place.
Woman: I know!

Said in my own house one time:
Me to Craig: Put this back in the refrigerator.
Craig to Me: Did you tell me this was a turd burglar?
[Seriously Craig?  Why would I use the word "turd" when pointing to the fridge?]

So your assignment, if you choose to accept it, is to really pay attention the next time you are around lots of people - Wal-Mart [you will NOT be disappointed], the flea market [bahahahahahahaha!!!], the hallways of any middle school in America, your local grocery store, or just anywhere there are lots of people.  It's fun and you just never know what you might hear....