Mrs. Darth Vader

For years [let me reiterate - years] I have picked on Craig's "mask".  He calls it the mask that gives him life.  I've called it Darth Vader's mask since he's had it. [And many nights he will roll over and the vent will blow air in my face. How would you like a puff of air meeting your face at 3am?]  I've made fun of him for putting it on when it is time for bed then trying to talk to me.  It sounds like someone is clamping his nose when he's talking. 

Today....I get my own sleep machine.  I will have my very own Darth Vader mask. [That's Mrs. Darth Vader to you.]  Mine is a little different than Craig's - it has a pink strap and fits under my nose instead of over my face.  I am severely claustrophobic.  I don't like the dark, elevators, or tiny spaces.  While visiting the USS Yorktown in Charleston I tried to go through the submarine that is on sight - not a good idea.  As soon as I descended the steps I felt my lungs begin to collapse [not really but it sounds better than I was about to pee on myself] and knocked a very large man out of the way to get back up the steps.  I have had panic attacks in these kinds of spaces and its slightly embarassing.  So, I told the good sleep doctor that the mask was OUT.  We compromised on this nice little under the nose deal. Not going to lie, though, the night I had to stay at the clinic and wear it I found myself almost hyperventilating [and I immediately regretted making fun of Craig all those years]. 

Poor Gabe....at 3am when he comes to our room he usually comes to my side of the bed because the mask scares him....I guess he'll be waking up Molly or Cooper. [I should have thought of this years ago...] 

I have to recant something I said in my last post about Grandma Hoyt's.  Turns out, they do sell some healthy stuff....apparently the Ranch dressing is made of yogurt and they do serve fruits and vegetables that are not deep fried. But really?  Who is waking up and saying, "Hey, I'd love a salad from Grandma Hoyt's today!" That's right - no one.  We are going there to eat the good stuff :)

As always, life as a Short [aka the Vaders] is awesome!!