Is it Possible to Get Paid to Do Nothing?

I am singing the blues. [Honestly, if I sing, you will be blue. More than likely, you will be gone. Yep, it's that bad.] The End of Summer blues. The I Gotta Go Back to Work blues. The I Gotta Ton of Crap to Unpack in my Classroom Blues. Right about now some of you sucked your teeth and said, "Girl, get over it. Get a real job and work all summer. Bless your heart nothing...." and my response [thought you'd never ask] is me sticking out my tongue. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you had every opportunity to got to college to earn your degree and Master's to get an underpaying job with the summer's off just like me. Don't hate - appreciate. [I know. That was really bad.]

I am not ready to return to school. I'm just not in that working mood at the moment. Actually, I was pondering if I could get a job just doing nothing. Can I get paid to sit at home and read craft blogs and do nothing? [Seriously. You think I'm kidding?] I mean yes, there are merits to working with kids every day and teaching something I love ['cause I'm a geek and one day we will rule the world] and being able to interact with middle schoolers [no, I did not smoke crack before saying that...they are kind of cool in their weird sort of way]. But how cool would it be if I just got paid to do zip all day? I should win the lottery. I should start playing the lottery - that would greatly improve my chances of winning - I think.

Gabe knows how to use the DVR. What a cruel twist of fate - I don't even know how to use the DVR yet my four year old records every show he can. Today he was on a Phenius and Ferb kick [which by the way is a sort of cool show for Disney because some of their shows are just dumb] but usually he is recording MAD TV ['cause that's an appropriate show to be watching at four...] or something really random. He doesn't like missing his shows to do things like eat or use the restroom so he either hits pause or record. Again, I don't know how to use the futuristic remote thingy so how can he?

The other day Craig made [yes, he twisted all of our arms and tied us to the couch] us watch some dumb show called Fantasy Factory [this dude gets paid to do NOTHING!!!] about Rob Dyrdek [apparently a skateboarder...paid to do NOTHING!!!!]. His cousin, named Drama, seems to have an apparent "affinity" for the crash test dummy used in the factory. Not really but Rob makes it look that way by putting the dummy outside the bathroom or next to Drama's computer or in his car. As the show was ending, Rob throws the dummy off the roof to Drama to which Gabe says, "Does this mean their relationship is over?" What? How did he get relationship out of that fiasco called TV? What four year old says relationship? [What parents let their four year old watch Fantasy Factory?]

Emma went to art camp last week with Craig's high school art teacher. She had an absolute blast. [I would post pictures but I lost my camera battery charger somewhere between Calgary and here so until the budget Nazi lets me purchase another the pictures will be few.] Every day there was a new adventure and she was so excited. This Thursday we get to head to the Arts Council for an art show featuring work from the summer camps. She loves art. [She's just preparing for that tattoo job in Vegas in the future :)]

Cooper embarks on a new adventure this week with his inaugural middle school football practice on Wednesday. It's like a rite of passage for him. No more small time, Saturday football. He'll be wearing a snazzy uniform and hitting the same field that his pops coaches on every Friday night. I can't wait to see him. [I just hope he gets to play at least some of the time and doesn't just ride the pine.] He is super excited.

Molly is embarking on her Sophomore year in high school. Wow....I've said it before, but where did all the time go? She's driving much better [as long as she is with me because Craig makes her nervous...he talks too much] and gaining more confidence behind the wheel. [There are only those occasional "ooops" moments now instead of daily ones.] She'll be driving my dad's 1997 Honda Accord so she'll have to learn to drive a stick shift [say that three times fast] so we've got to get the car and let her practice [Yeah]. She's had the time of her life this summer and I am so happy because she deserves it :)

From our house [getting into back-to-reality mode] to yours may God's blessings be many and your worries be few. As always, life as a Short is just awesome :)