Merry Christmas from the Family

As you know, Craig and I can be quite "irreverant" at times.  I don't mean like crude and disprestful but more like lacking in class. [Some of you are shaking your head and saying to yourself, "They are ALWAYS like that."]  One of our favorite little Christmas dittys is "Merry Christmas from the Family" [we like the Montgomery Gentry version] and we really like to sing it then talk about family.  Now before some of you check out, let me 'splain....we ♥♥♥LoVe♥♥♥ our families.  We both have the most awesome families and they mean everything to us BUT we also realize we are from 'round here and well, you get the picture.  Here's a little bit of the tune we like:

Brother Ken brought his kids with him

The three from his first wife Lynn

And the two identical twins

From his second wife Mary Nell

Of course he brought his new wife Kaye

Who talks all about AA

Chain smokin' while the stereo plays

Noel, Noel, The first Noel

So this past Saturday we had a get together with the Shorts [really, the mere saying of the last name evokes images doesn't it?] and we met at the Western Sizzlin' [some of you have just now peed your pants].  If you know Craig's story then you know that this particular side of the family has not always been as welcoming as they are now ~ he changed and they changed ~ so it is a tad uncomfortable.  [Well that and the fact that none of us really wanted to eat at the Sizzlin'].  We walked in the front door to be greeted by a rather frail man going back to the buffet [and this is merely speculation on my part] for his third helping of fried chicken and cabbage.  Cooper asked, "Is that a Short?" and I nearly peed my pants.  We continued on to the room where we ate last year [Yes, this is an annual tradition] and walked in the room.  "Are these the Shorts?" asked Emma, loudly.  Again, I nearly lost it, though I could understand her thinking.....Finally, after a scenic tour of the WS, we found who we were looking for and made our way to the empty table.  At that point it was if time stopped with everyone staring and whispering at us.  I can only imagine it went a little like this:

Lord, that is Craig and his family. [While some were sayin', "Who is Craig?] 
He is Ray's son - can't you tell? 
How many kids does he have?  My goodness.  Did he have that many last year? [Yes he did. No,we are not having anymore.  No, I'm not pregnant again.]
Is he younger or older than Kandace?
What are his kids names?  [Dopey, Sleepy, Naughty, and Bully]
Who is that dude with all those kids?  I've never seen him before.
Man, his wife is smokin' hot. [I am sure this was NOT said but I'd like to think it could've been said...at some point....in my life.]

We took our seats and then the questions from Cooper and Emma begin:
Who are these people?  [I have NO clue.]
I don't know anyone - do you?
Where are we eating? [Not here - trust me.]
When are we leaving?
How long do we have to stay? [Well, your daddy and Kandace are talking so my bet is it's gonna be a while.]
Can I just have something to drink?

And, of course, right on cue, Craig left me to mingle.  I had two options: Stare at the people who share my last name but I hardly know or stare at the people who look like they could have my last name and I hardly know on the other side of glass partition.  Choices suck. Several people came over to take our pictures and Craig's niece made a prophetic statement, "They are going to look at those pictures of us and ask who the heck we are in a few years!"  So true....

We spent about three an hour visiting and still never being introduced.  I mean, I had a conversation with a man about coupons [my new obsession] and the best places in town to shop and I wouldn't know him from Adam's house cat [who, incidentally, is probably a Short as well].  As in their relationship, they were together in the same room but still as far away from each other as one could get [mixaphorically speaking]. 

Incidentally, as we were leaving the Sizzlin', we started hearing banjos [reminded me of that apartment experience that one time I went to the urinal pool to swim] and I told Cooper to run before he heard, "Squeeealll like a pig!"  He didn't get it.  So, to top off a night, with the Shorts at the Western Sizzlin', we heard live bluegrass.  Who needs dessert?  

We bought National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation on Saturday and then watched it....and once, again, thought about our own families. Craig and I are definitely the Griswolds.  [I'm not quite sure who I would peg as Cousin Eddie because the roles change frequently]. For one thing, there is an RV parked in the neighbor's back yard that could rival the one in Clark's driveway. [And that is about all I'll say about that right now....]  When Eddie says, "Save the neck for me Clark" I harken back to a time when I've probably heard those exact words around the dinner table at a holiday.

But the good Lord knew what he was doing when he placed us in this family.  For all of OUR quirks and funnies there are a million reasons why this family is the absolute best [my side and Craig's side too].  

As always, life as a Short is awesome :)