I lost my keys today. [If you lived here you would understand that this is a weekly daily occurence.] Craig's answer? [As if I'm really listening....let's be honest here.] "If you'd put them in the same place every night then you wouldn't have this problem." Well that is just boring [and completely logical] and I like adventure [and pulling out my hair at 7:30am each day]. One time [absolutely, 100% true story] I lost them in my first grade classroom. My first job was teaching first grade [incidentally, it was also almost my last job teaching because it was NOT a good experience.....bless those poor little children that had me as the teacher] and I lost my keys in my classroom. I had NO clue, at all, where they could be. I really thought I had either thrown them away or one of the rugrats [I use that term with adoration and affection] had picked them up and put them somewhere in the room. I looked and looked and looked and looked and looked some more. Finally, I gave up and called Craig [I'm pretty sure he said something to the effect of, "*&^$#_+" before he hung up on me] and he came to pick me up. Fast forward about a week later when I pull some random teacher guide off my shelf and BINGO! There I find my keys in the book. Apparently I'd had the book out on my desk [which is absolutely, 100% always never free of clutter], sat my keys down in the book, closed it, and put it on the shelf. Another time I put them in a different spot in my closet at school. You guessed it - I couldn't find them to save my life. What is funny is that I was actually looking at them but didn't see them. [Live in my world a while then you'd understand.] Another time, when living in the "papartment" they fell into the couch. Not between the cushions or under the couch but actually in the couch. The back of the couch was ripped and, just as luck would have it, my keys fell down into the couch. [What is even more strange is that I finally, after a week, thought to look there.]
Today's adventure actually began on Sunday. Emma's baptism was Sunday so we invited ALL of our family over for BBQ and the fixins. My mom had this huge can of baked beans [I mean HUGE] which also required an enormous can opener.
I figured there would be one in the church so I, the person who cannot EVER find her keys or cell phone, decided I would simply [I use that term lightly] open the can up, put the beans in a pan, then in my car, then on to Sunday school so that I could just pop them in the oven after church. Wrong....the can had other plans. I ended up with a chest full of baked bean juice [which is gross anyway but super gross when it ended up...ummmm....right in "the middle"] with no time to spare before church....Thank goodness for zebra striped sweaters. Finally, at the end of the service my daddy was able to get this ginormous can of beans open and in my car they went - Literally. Now, I had baked beans juice on my chest, my sweater, my arms and my car! I don't even like baked beans - at all!! I get these beans home, cook them, and let the family partake of them. However, I forgot one little detail - I spilled those devil beans in my car. [I know that is a shocker considering, that on a daily basis, I lose my car keys.] I remembered this morning when I noticed Cooper and Will covering their noses while waiting on me. Yeah...we rode to school with the windows down as I IMMEDIATELY regretted forgetting to clean up those blasted baked beans.
In my haste to exit the car before I needed respiratory assistance [or started smelling like "Ode to Baked Beans"] I left my keys in the car ignition. That's right, the ignition. Not just in there, with it turned off, but apparently I left the key in the "on" position....you know that one you put it on when you are sitting in your car listening to the end of Ice, Ice Baby or Goin' Back to Cali [or is that just me?] when you get home. I am sure there was some sort of noise or ding to indicate my keys were still in the ignition...causing the battery to still be engaged...but yeah, I didn't pay it attention [total shocker I know]. Honestly, the thought that I was sucking the life out of a $145 battery or the fact that I didn't have my keys never crossed my mind until it was time to get Gabe to the dentist, in the pouring rain...I searched my room [even looking in books] for my keys 3 times before going to the car.....to find my keys. I had to find someone with jumper cables, in the pouring rain, to jump start my car. That sucker was so dead I had to reset the radio with some code [that incidentally is neatly tucked in my glove compartment]. Gabe made it to the dentist, dripping wet [and chewing his gum], and late to get his "silver star" aka filling for a tiny cavity in a molar. Needless to say, I was glad to see my little house and tiny couch at the end of this crazy day....what an adventure.
Emma informed me that she understands why my eyesight is so bad and that would be because I am "older". Maybe the bad eyesight, getting older, and just generally be a doofus would explain a lot of things about me.....
As always, from my house to yours, have a wonderific week :) Life is really, really good.
I have a new affinity for the grocery store. [That could be because I have an old affinity for liking food.] Ask Craig - grocery shopping used to be a CHORE for me. I hated spending the money to come home with hardly any food. I cook dinner almost every night [I could make myself look like the super woman I really am but I will confess that some nights it's cereal or pot luck from a can at the Short house] so I used to make a menu, get approval from Craig, make a list, trudge to Shelby to go to Aldi and Wal Mart, and then back home. I really could not stand it because I knew the outcome - a lot of money for a little bit of food. Then....I discovered....COUPONS!! Woooo hoooo!! [I don't have much to get excited about so oblige me please.] Last week it was $290 worth of groceries for $138 and this week it was $213 for $115. Not too shabby - in two weeks I've saved about $240. Plus, my family is jumping for joy because there's extra food for snacking :) [Again, we don't have a lot but we have good meals around here.]
So, the other night I had to go to Food Lion to get some cupcake holders to make cupcakes for Gabe to take to nursery for his birthday. [The sweet monster made it to the age of five - bless him.] As I was walking to the baking aisle I overhear someone talking, very loudly. Follow me as I tell the story of an obviously hard of hearing older lady with a serious attitude. I will refer to her as OL[old lady] and I am going to infer what I believe her friend on the other line might be saying as PF[poor fellow] The following conversation, though paraphrased for you, was spoken extremely loudly:
OL: Well she said her pictures were wet, and her couch was wet, and her floor was wet, and blah, blah, blah. PF: Hmmm...why would they be wet? OL: Well that's what I said. To be honest, I think she's crazy. You know how she is. PF: Yes, I do. OL: I know you do. We've been knowing her a long time. PF: Why did she call you? OL: I asked her the same thing! I told her that I didn't climb no roofs. I told her that was your job. I couldn't tell her what was wrong with her roof. You know if you ask me [but I 'm not sure that PF acutally asked her] I think she's losing her mind. You know she needed to get something done to the tag with her car and I told her so. [I am thinking, to myself of course, "I bet you did."] Well, she didn't and now she's in trouble with the tag place and she can't drive until she gets it straight. But I told her and she said I didn't. I tell you she is losing her mind. PF: [I can only assume that by now PF is either asleep or close to stabbing himself in the eye with a pencil. I know I was read to stab myself.] Well I'm not at home. OL: You are not at home? Well I shouldn't have told her to call you. I guess you can't handle it tonight. She told me she was going to climb up there and check it herself. You know what I told her? [Nope, but I bet you are going to tell us.] I told her not to be climbin' that roof. PF: Tell her to call me tomorrow. OL: When I get off her I will call and tell her that.
Lessons that we can gleen from this conversation: 1. You don't want this man to fix your roof. 2. You don't want to tell this woman ANYTHING. 3. If you are hard of hearing and are having a long, drawn out conversation where you talking about some one then DON'T have that conversation while shopping.
Incidentally, I have a story that goes along with this one. My Granny was once found on top of her roof. [Yes, we took care of her...just follow me.] She was always concerned about leaves clogging up the gutters and she didn't want to ask anyone to check them.....sooooo....she climbed up on the house herself to clean out the gutters. If I remember the story correctly, Rube Long drove by and called my Aunt Polly [whole 'nother blog], who then called my Grandmother and Paw Paw. I think the following was said: Aunt Polly: Betty, Rube just drove by Myrtle's house and Myrtle's on the roof. Grandmother: Well my Lord! [as she yelled to my Paw Paw] Gene! Mother's on the roof! Lord, we've got to get over there. Paw Paw: #@&^(*&!! [Now I wasn't there but I am 100% positive my Paw Paw said that but it was way more colorful!!]
My Granny was a Saint - no doubts - but she kept us in stitches [and Little Debbie cakes]. I sure do miss her. I miss my Grandmother too. I miss my Granny Ferguson's 6am phone calls to say, "What do you know?" I miss my Paw Paw's Old Spice smell and perfectly combed hair. Word of advice for those of you that don't visit your grandparents much - they will not be around forever so spend as much time as you can with them now. Trust me. All they want is your time and your love.
I am taking my girls to see Taylor Swift tomorrow night [T. Swizzle] and I must say that I'm a little excited myself. I love concerts [I have even seen Milli Vanilli and they weren't even singing] and this one will be a first for Emma K. We've had our tickets since LAST November so it's been a very long wait for the smallest Short chick. Right now, she and Molly are making T-shirts to wear tomorrow night. Our plan is to meet some girls from church, eat, and rock out! We are taking Thursday off. [Yes, I am a horrible mother, who is also a teacher, and I am letting my girls miss a day of school to sleep...judge me...I don't care.] Considering the anxiety over this past week I can truly say that I'm just ready to relax and enjoy my Moo and Flossie in all their girly glory :)
I guess it's the dork in me [I can admit my dorkiness] but I love finding stuff and showing my classes at school. If we have five minutes at the end of class then I try to find something neat or different to show my classes. For instance, I was on msnbc.com when I found this video:
I just think that is such a neat video. [I had to look up murmuration. It's a group of starlings. Now you learned something new today - check that off your list.] It's a simple video that really has zip to do with what we are studying but a teachable moment. It took two whole minutes and every single kid was watching it. Pretty cool I think :)
Another fave is optical illusions. Again, I don't spend my ENTIRE class with these but any extra 3 to 4 minutes we might have at the end of class:
Sometimes, we even do brain games like word winks. [I told you many, many, many times that I am a dork. This absolutely solidifies that fact doesn't it?]
I just think that getting my students interested in thinking about thinking [that would be metacognition for those of you shakin' your noggins] and interested in all things science then it makes it easier for me to teach. Does that mean that they are all, 100% of the time, interested in everything we do? [Can I say yes and leave it at that?] Nope - and that's OK. I'm not going to make scientists out of all of them but if some of them leave my class with a little spark then the effort [and dorkiness] is well worth it.
Other things besides these obviously nerdy ones that amaze me? Penn State [but not in a good way] and all that has happened there and the stuff that is yet to come out. Sad. I am amazed that sometimes people forgo their moral obligations to climb the tower of success. I, like many of you, am sickened at the new revelations that come out each day. We should all pray for this situation.
On the upside, I am amazed at my children. I love to see Emma and Gabe play Just Dance on the Wii. I love to talk about "the boy" with Molly and watch her eyes sparkle. [Yes...she really likes him and I'm pretty sure he likes her but again, awkward is how I would describe this relationship.] I love to hear Cooper tell us Chuck Norris jokes. [I never imagined there would be so many though...]
I am amazed at the fact that I only spent $138 for $290 groceries. [No I will not be one of those people who kicks their third child out of their bedroom to make way for 945 boxes of spaghetti, 389 cans of clam chowder, and 2,367 Reach toothbrushes.] I honestly am hooked. I am finding coupons all over the place to use. I am already making out my grocery list for this next week. [Yes, I have one of those notebooks. Shut it.]
I am amazed at God's presence and grace ALL around me [if grace is an ocean then we're all sinking ♥] especially when I am so undeserving [that would be every day of my life]. I am amazed at the number of people, just today, who said, "I am praying for your daughter" and "If you need anything please let me know" and "Mrs. Short I just wanted you to know that I put Emma on the prayer list at my Bible study yesterday." I am so blessed to have this amazing job with so many wonderful people that do not hesitate to stop and lift up prayers for my family. I am amazed that we, the six of us Shorties, are part of such a large, caring, and giving family.
I am amazed at the book of Revelation. I am doing this awesome Bible study with a group of women from my church about this book of the Bible and it is fascinating. It is such an in depth study of God's word and I am thrilled to be a part of it. [Just another reason that finding and being invovled in a church is so important everyone.]
I am amazed that I only drank 2 Diet Sundrops at school today. [This is because, for whatever reason, the Sundrop dude does not fill up our machine in the dungeon and I can't make it to the main office and back in 4 minutes.] I would probably be amazed at how much money I'd have if I didn't put it in that cussed machine....can you say Intervention? IV Sundrop available anywhere? Is there a coupon for that?
Emma's bloodwork came back normal. To fill you in a little, she had a knot come up on her neck a little over a year ago. I took her to the doctor and we decided to watch and wait because it was not overly large or had any symptoms of anything more than a large lymph node. Fast forward to about two weeks ago. She found another knot on the other side of her neck so back to the doctor we went. Not only was there an enlarged lymph node but her thyroid is also a little larger than it should be as well as some moderate weight gain, hoarseness, and irritability. All of a sudden we are taking blood and talking about a thyroid problem. Of course, I call my mom and she starts looking for answers [she's a nurse for those of you that don't know her] and she tells me worst case they take her thyroid out and best case is that it is something that will fix itself. In the meantime, Craig and I are on pins and needles this entire time. But honestly, in the midst of the unknown, I felt a true peace that can only come from God. I knew that no matter what the test said or what news we recieved that God was protecting us and that He would sustain us. I was nervous because that is human to worry but, like Molly told me, "God's got this Ma!" and I knew that all would be OK. She will be going for an ultrasound so we'll maybe know more about the lumps in her neck and the thyroid. I will keep you posted :)
Thank you God for all of the amazing things in my life....as always, it's good to be a Shortie :)
Tonight we are playing in the second round of the playoffs. [I say we like I'm out there.] Tonight....we play Crest. If you ain't from around here then you don't know how serious high school truly is in Cleveland County. [I ain't technically from here but I've lived here long enough to know.] I guess it could be because there isn't much else to do around here on a Friday night but I think it is more that each community truly loves their local team. All four teams are still in the playoffs and all four teams are playing in the county tonight.
My favorite coach has had quite a long football season. He moved to the offense this year and asked to move to the top of the pressbox. In addition to learning new stuff he is also in graduate school, a dad to four awesome kids [just like their momma], Sunday school teacher, head softball coach [they are not in season but still working towards this season's start], world history teacher extraordinaire, the budget Nazi over the First National Bank of The Shorties, and lastly, husband to yours truly. He's busy. That coupled with some "things" beind the scenes has made this a tough season. He loves football. He loves coaching. He is good at what he does because he not only teaches these young men but he's also trying to make them good, young men of character. You see, it isn't always about winning and being the best but he sees his mission as a coach to teach these kids about life. I happen to think he is the best [I am biased] at what he does and part of the reason I think that is because I know how hard he works behind the scenes. He also works with an awesome group of men [they've been together now for about 11 years] and each of them has the same goal: winning by instilling character and perservance. I pray, every day, that he is doing what God wants him to do and that he does it to the best of his ability. One of my favorite things is to watch him as he coaches. I love that man...he's my favorite coach.
Tonight we meet Crest, again, at their field. [Again, I had A LOT typed but deleted it.] Prayers for a safe game and may the best team [Insert subliminal message here: KM, KM, KM, Mountaineers, KM, KM, Kings Mountain, KM, KM, KM] win.
I cannot believe that I am going to sit in this cold weather to watch a football game. I must be crazy [some of you are shaking your head in the affirmative] and I'm taking the babies and my mother-in-law. I guess supporting my favorite coach and my favorite high school football players will keep me warm [yeah, right].
Asking for prayers for my sweet Emma. There are some things going on, medically, so we covet your prayers. We will not have test results until next week but as soon as we know I will pass it along. I have a peace that all is going to be OK no matter what the results say. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
[This blog started on Wednesday but I've just now had time to finish it.] I have said it before and I will say it again - Sometimes I am quite sure that teaching middle school is exactly the same as being pecked to death, slowly, by a bunch of angry, nasty chickens. What a crazy, bizzarre few days this has been...oh my. Don't you ever see something in someone that they can't see in themselves and it frustrates you to no end? If you answered yes then you must be a teacher. You gotta love them....even when you're not quite sure about their sanity [or your own for that matter].
In light of some "things" over the last few days I've decided to make a list of what truly matters in my life [for my own sanity....if that still exists]: 1. Salvation 2. Walking with God 3. My family 4. Love - unconditional, never-ending love. 5. Children - my own, the ones I teach, the ones that don't have a family, all children
May you see God's blessings this week...they are all around you.
I have become my Granny. [No, I don't own a polyester wardrobe...yet.] I reheated leftover coffee the other night and Craig said, "I am married to Myrtle Towery." I just wanted one cup and we don't own one of those fancy Keurig machines. Nope...only the best for us. We own a $10 coffee pot from Roses. [Yes, Roses from days gone by. Now if Sky City and Tastee Freeze would come to the KM that would be sweet.] Desperate times call for desperate measures and when the coffee pot broke the Roses came through. [I will say that I use it then I unplug it for fear it will overheat or blow up. What do you expect? I only paid $10 for it.] The iron also came from there and it works.....like it came from Roses. I guess we should be thankful that it doesn't spit water that resembles urine all over our clothes like the other iron. The downside? It's really debatable if it can actually be called an iron or if we should call it an iron-shaped-piece-of-metal-that-heats-up-but-does-nothing-for-the-wrinkles-in-your-pants-at-7:30am-on-a-Monday-morning-thingy. I guess quasi-iron will do.
There is a thief around here. He [could be a she] lives in our house. This thief really loves my socks. I'm not sure why my socks are the favorite but I do know that any pair that I might have has gone AWOL. I know Craig, Cooper, and Gabe aren't not the sock stealers. [Craig doesn't even like white socks] so that leaves Emma and Molly. Emma has an issue with socks that don't fit properly. [Emma has issues with a lot of clothing items. She doesn't like shirts that have any kind of hem or stitching on them that actually touches her. And smocking or elastic in a shirt? Forget it....she'd rather go naked.] So.....that leaves only Molly. I would blame her since she and I wear the same size shoes except for one thing - she can't find any socks either. She's raiding my sock drawer on a daily basis. That can only mean one thing - the KM Police need to be lookin' for a thief wearing white, no-show socks...and lots of them. Really? Are we eating them? Now, before I answer that question ['cause you know I have an answer] let me tell you about an interesting experience I had just this week. A few nights ago I wanted some coffee [from my $10 coffee pot] so I go to my trusty cabinet and what do I find behind the coffee? A HALLOWEEN SOCK!!! What in the world? It's a kitchen cabinet!! An overhead kitchen cabinet for that matter...why is there a Halloween sock in there? At this point, be it the over abundance of caffeine that I've already pumped my kidneys full of today or the fact that I'm past the point of no return [aka one laugh from white coats and padded rooms] I begin to think, "Hmmmm. Should I continue looking, in the KITCHEN CABINETS, for more socks?" [The thought NEVER crossed my mind to question why, behind my donut shop coffee, there would be a sock.] To my dismay, I didn't come across any more socks in the kitchen. And, I'm still not quite sure why that orange sock with white ghosts is sitting next to the decaf tea and coffee. In this house anything goes [including lack of common sense, sleeping where you fall, and cheap appliances] and that's the way we like it. [Yes, that is a subliminal KC and Sunshine Band reference.]
I've started couponing [is that an action?] and I must say it is addictive. [Not addictive like chocolate or Lizard Lick Towing but close.] I've never watched that extreme couponing show and my goal is not to have 450 sticks of Secret deodorant, 300 boxes of macaroni, and 67 boxes of Tampons but I would like to save some serious money when buying groceries. I spent $5 [What could that Lincoln have purchased at the Roses if a coffee pot only cost $10? I will never know] to take a coupon class. I did learn some good ideas and got some great info about websites and places to order coupons. And, in the last two weeks I haven't spent as much money and I have more food. I just do not have a grasp on exactly how to save the HUGE bucks. This lady that did the class said her grocery bill went from $170 - $215 to now, less than $75 a week. [And you know when I told the budget Nazi all of this that he actually danced a jig - I swear.] I bought the paper a few weeks ago, cut the coupons, and saved a total of [Big drumroll] $3.50. What? Are you sure that doesn't say $35.00? Are you serious? I spent $3.25 for the papers so I saved a total of $.25? I could've dug that much out of the couch and saved myself the trouble. But do I give up? [Well, I did on finding more socks in the kitchen but that isn't the same.] No...I will overcome and save money. I am determined. So determined [I can't believe I am saying this] that I actually paid money for coupons over the internet. Now I have an arsenal. I am ready - and Harris Teeter has double coupons and BO,GO [Buy One, Get One free for those of you not into couponing lingo. I am dealing with a bunch of rookies I guess....] on lots and lots of food the Shorties like [and we like us some food . I'm even going to a coupon swap next week. [Now I am a dork AND a domestic diva. What's next - aprons while cooking in heels and supper clubs with the neighbors?] I just want to have a little bit of extra money for that sexy pair of red heels or the occasional manicure. I will be heading to HT in the am, armed with coupons, a list, and the anticipation of HUGE savings. And, if you coupon and want to swap, leave me a message on here or send me an email [pigskinchick@gmail.com].
My Mountaineers and my favorite coach are going to round 2 next week. Fortunately, we are blessed to be in this position considering the injuries and personnel issues this year. Unfortunately, we have to play Crest again. Now, don't get me wrong - I have so much confidence in the Mountaineers' players and coaches. This might be our year just because this team refuses to give up. I just hate that we have to play them - again - for the second time in three weeks. [And I should probably stop there before I say too much...I've been known to do that.]
Off to see my sweet girl play some softball tomorrow. I look forward to a great day with all of the Shorties ♥ As always, life is simply fantastic :)
I love to hear Gabe's version of songs. For instance, there is a song on the radio by Foster the People titled Pumped Up Kicks [it actually has one of those catchy tunes that stays in your head for days]. Gabe loves this song but he doesn't quite know the words.... Gabe's Version: All the other kids with their pumped up kicks, better run up the elevator, faster than my bulletin. Real Version: All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, you'd better run, better run, outrun my gun.
Tonight he broke out Foreigner [Which BTW, is a totally hard word for a someone with an obvious lack of spelling ability like myself. I had to Google it. Or Goggle it as I usually spell it.] Gabe's Version: I wanna go where love lives....I want you to show me where love lives. Real Version: I wanna know what love is...I want you to show me. When I asked him where he heard this song he told me it was on Alvin and the Chipmunks. [And that is another reason NOT to watch that movie. That and the fact that the animals talk ~ super creepy.] Honestly, I like Gabe's versions much better.
Halloween was fun. [That is really a breakthrough for me. I like the costume part but I'm not much on the trick or treating part.] Gabe and Emma had a fabulous. Emma was a paper doll [I had to explain to her what paper dolls were...and to Cooper...and to Molly] and Gabe was Spider Man [a gift from Santa ~ bizzare, I know, but it was a Christmas gift].
We had a blast!!! Emma's costume was a huge success [As if I didn't know that would happen] and Gabe was hilarious as always. It made me smile as I watched them make their way to a door, ring the bell, and simultaneously say, "Trick or Treat!" I love those two babies dearly [Yes, I love the oldest two just as much] and they make me smile. God has been so very good to us. [However, I did find it odd that a much older woman with a 19 year old trick-or-treater rang our doorbell, AFTER we'd turned off the universal "Have-Candy-Here" porchlight. When we didn't open the door she came to the carport and knocked. A. You are way too old to be trick-or-treating B. The light is off. C. Refer to A and B.]
My class reunion is coming up next Saturday. My 20th reunion. Wow...hard to believe I've been out of high school that long. At first I really wanted to go. I went to the ten year reunion [by myself because Craig's reunion was the same night....and since I married Mr. All-American, he had to help plan his so he couldn't go with me] and I really didn't have such a great time. I think alot of it was a combination of alot of things: I was alone, I felt very uncomfortable about my weight, and frankly, not many people that I was friends with in high school were there. Honestly, it really felt like high school all over again [and that would simply be a nightmare for me] and those insecure feelings crept in and took over. Fast forward 10 years to this reunion. I signed up about two months ago, thinking I would be able to go and take Craig with me [though he made it abundantly clear that he'd rather have his nose hairs plucked one by one than go to my reunion]. But, since Molly's switch to a new team, she is playing next weekend. So I had to make a decision on going or not. And, if I chose to go, I would have to go alone because Craig does not like missing Molly's tournaments. The more I thought about it, two glaring things kept creeping into my mind: 1. I would be selfish to go and miss Molly's tournament. 2. I just really didn't want to go. At all. I think [which is very dangerous] that, at the time the evite came around, that I wanted to go but as time has gone on, I am not that interested. Chalk it up to old age [some might say I am a stick in the mud], lack of interest in hanging out with people I didn't know that well in high school [most of my HS buddies will not be there], and not wanting to spend the money to "hang out".
High school, at least for me, was not a memorable experience. [I am SO glad Molly's experience, thus far, has been a million times better.] I've learned so much about myself over the last 20 years. I held my own self back from so many great experiences and opportunities because I allowed self-doubt to dominate my life. I grew up with amazing parents and a wonderful sister and awesome friends yet I spent too many years comparing myself to others and I lost that time, that sense of who God meant for me to be, and those memories. I guess, in some absurd way, [imagine absurdity and me in the same sentence - absurd isn't it?] that going to the reunion might bring back those things I've left behind. I am quite sure my lack of attendance won't make banner headlines or anyone's Facebook status.
I am in a Fantasy Football league with some of my peeps from work. There is zero money involved [we're a bunch of teachers] and really I was asked because they needed a twelfth person to create the "league" [and what a coincidence since I've been in twelfth place all season]. My team, Lost Shakers of Salt, does not have the best players [and that could be my general lack of knowledge of who the "best" players are....is Marino still a QB?] I have learned a few things about the boys [calling them men would simply be an exercise in futility and I have no time for exercise or futility] in my league: 7. A few of them don't understand the fact that it is make belive football. 6. Men will sometimes [if sometimes means ALL the TIME] whine about anything. 5. Some men will do ANYTHING to win, including drafting players for other other teams, refusing trades unless it benefits them, and just generally being turds. [Gabe would laugh at my use of the word "turd".] 4. They cannot spell or use correct grammar. 3. Most of them wear "manties" - I am 100% certain and I've never seen them....or want to see them. 2. They believe that if they crack enough "chicks can't" jokes that I will cry or take my "balls" [their words - not mine] and go home [ironically that would really be difficult for the majority of them]. And the number one thing I've learned this FF season, 1. I actually have a life. I am just amazed at their general lack of, well for lack of a better word, intelligence. I probably shouldn't be surprised but I am . I enjoyed playing the last few years but this year has been zero fun - they can have it.
