Running with Scissors

A couple of weeks ago someone told me that I shouldn't write the way I write because I hurt their feelings.

I hurt their feelings by telling the truth about my own reaction.

I was also told by this person that they felt like I did something, on purpose, just to be mean.

So much was said about me [most of it negative] yet when it came time to have a conversation I wasn't allowed to talk.  

Since it happened, none of this has made any sense to me. At all.

Today, the weight of this "issue" [really, pretty much a petty non-issue if you ask me but no one did] just came lifting off of me.

This isn't my problem.

I control my reaction to situations and people.  No. One. Else. 

I have taken a step back when it comes to some folks in my life.  That was my choice.  I get to decide who is and isn't allowed into my life.  I am quite smart enough to decide who I let in.  I choose to guard my heart, not to keep it from hurting [because that is inevitable if you have kids], but I honestly don't want to be around people who are selfish, self-consumed, and only want what benefits them. Seriously, if every conversation has to revolve around who does and doesn't like you then how do you have any real friends?  I guess, as an adult, I am way past the who likes me stuff.    

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything flows from it." Proverbs 4:23

As an adult, I am learning that if I don't agree with something that is OK.  If I choose not to participate [be it Facebook, parties, or whatever] that is MY choice.  I am the one that lives with my choices. Furthermore, I don't feel the need to explain every personal choice to others.  

What I haven't been able to get past these last few weeks is why this particular [PETTY] situation that caused so much turmoil?  And why would you kick the hornet's nest and then get mad because you get stung?

I am dealing with people that are self-consumed.  You cannot reason with people who think everything [and when I say everything I mean everything...Facebook, Twitter, the world pretty much] revolves around them. Why would I even have a side to this story when the other side is all that anyone is willing to hear?  In our house we call them "Me Monsters".  

I have to remind myself, my favorite coach, and my children that the world doesn't revolve around us. We don't always get it right.  As humans, we all have to remind ourselves of that and get back to what is really important: Allowing God's light to shine through us.

I spent way too much time worrying about people that honestly, in the big picture, have zero affect on me and who I am.  More importantly, if they choose to only see [and dwell on] the negative and what isn't being done for them then I can't control that at all...so why worry? I'm not willing to shoulder the burden of "Me Monsters" any more. 

Our pastor made a statement this morning that really resonated with me.  He has such a unique way of taking tiny parts of scripture and making them so BIG. This morning his message came from I Peter 1:1-2 and he was teaching us about who we are in Christ.  His second point was that in Christ we are strangers who are wandering this world.  

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is...his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:2

I don't want to be of this world.  I don't want to worry about who likes me or if I impress others or if I'm making everyone happy but only by feeding egos. 

As always, life as a Short couldn't be better [and a whole lot lighter].