Heart

Sometimes my favorite coach wonders where God is leading him.  [I know he won't mind sharing this with you.]

He finished his master's degree to be an administrator in 2013.  He really wants to be a principal but so far, those doors have all been closed.  

At times, he has struggled with the whys.  I believe he is qualified [I mean, I think he hung the moon, so why wouldn't he be qualified to be a leader in a school?] and that when the time is right he will land one of those jobs.  

I know the man's heart.
I know that he trusts God's direction for his life, even when he doesn't understand the path.
I love him.

Today a former player's parent emailed both of us to thank us for supporting her daughter's upcoming mission trip.  This is a part of the email she sent to us:

Also, I'm not a Carolina fan but watched the Dean Smith memorial that was on TV last weekend.  As I heard players give testimony to his life, it reminded me of you Coach Short.  One player talked about how he wasn't the best player but he got to start on senior day.  (Our daughter) wasn't at all the best player, but you always gave her some playing time and made her part of the team.  And you lived out your faith just like Dean Smith did.  So again, thank you for all you do for those girls each year.

God puts us where HE needs us most.

Saved by the Bell

In a few short hours I will return to work, with kids in the classroom, for the first time since February 5th.

Am I sad I have to go back to work? 

I am a little sad.  I've enjoyed my time off [well minus the surgery part] and I feel fully rested for the first time in a long time. I would love to be able to say I taught myself to crochet [I struggled with the slipknot], read 25 books, or organized my house [let's not get crazy now...I've never been accused of organizing anything]. But I didn't do any of that.  I just enjoyed my family, [my couch], my comfortable clothes, and the time off.

You know what makes me really sad? 

Having to wear REAL clothes, do my hair, and put on make-up!! [I am sorry if you've been unlucky enough to see me out and about these last few weeks. Now you know how my family feels.]  I have worn nothing but jogging pants [well just that ONE pair that I own] and PJs since February 6th.  

And loved EVERY MINUTE. 

But tomorrow reality comes sweeping back in and I hit the door running. [Well, not exactly.  We do have a three hour delay. Not too shabby for a Friday.]

One thing I have done while I've been home is really think about my job.
And a lot of soul searching on what I need to do better. 

The list is long my friends.  Long indeed.

Not going to lie, the last two years in the classroom hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me. [Not unless that walk included fire breathing dragons, dog poop, meteors falling from the sky, huge rocks, toe stubs, too many Swiss cake rolls, and attempts to run far away.] 

Instead of setting the tone I let the tone set me.  
I let circumstances and "things" dictate how I felt.
I wanted to give up and walk away.

But as always, God allowed me the opportunity to rest [via the evil little gall bladder], some time to refocus, and He helped me remember why being a teacher is what I was meant to do.

After all, these people that forget their pencils [so they write in Sharpies on the front and back of an assignment], leave their library books [over and over and over again] in my room, fail to put their name on papers, play tag on the way to lunch, ask to go to the bathroom in the middle of class, and cannot wait until the bell at 3 [not to leave but to get to their cell phones] are still just kids.  

Ultimately, I believe that ALL of them want...
to be successful.
be accepted.
feel loved.

I will be the first to admit that sometimes, as a teacher, I get caught up in what they aren't doing and I lose focus on what needs to be done.  [Just a side note, middle schoolers are waiting, with dripping fangs and cat-like reflexes for you to lose focus.  They thrive on it.  You've been warned.]  Every little issue doesn't have to be monumental and I've made many a mountain out of a mole hill.  I wear my heart on my sleeve, which isn't a bad thing, but sometimes I tend to worry more about how I feel.

I have been burdened over the last few weeks to make some changes in my classroom...mainly me. [I am listening to my Hillsong station on Pandora right now and the song Thank You Jesus just came on. Well, played God, well played.  Thank you Jesus...you set me free. Christ my Savior...you rescued me. Wow.]  

As teachers we have the unique [and awesome] opportunity to make such a difference in the lives of children. [Now understand me...I do NOT do cliché, mushy, when-you-get-the-chance-dance kind of stuff but it is true about making a difference.] I should be seeking opportunities. In fact, the way I see it, everyone who works in a school building has opportunities to make a difference.  

I am certainly not suggesting that this is easy.  Never has been. Kids come to us every day from broken homes, with broken hearts, with brokenness that some of us will never experience.  I can't begin to even begin to know what it is like to live a life that isn't privileged.   

What I do know that for me, that means I must do my job up to Colossians 3:23 standards: 

WHATEVER you do [like teach], work [love, care, commit, be bold, with reckless abandon] at it with ALL your heart [even when the going gets tough, the sharks are biting, and the water is forehead high], as if working for the Lord and not for men. 

Often, I can't change the circumstances outside of school that affect my students. What I can do is make dang sure that the experiences they have in my classroom, EVERY SINGLE DAY, are extraordinary.  [No, I'm not trying to be Super Teacher. Or be the most liked or any of that jazz.] If I'm giving them less than the best of me then I'm not doing my job. Seriously.        

I'm not looking for fame or fortune.  I'm not looking for perfect test scores and data to tell me I'm doing this teaching thing right. I'm not looking for anyone's approval.

Tonight, in a conversation with Coop, Craig said something that hit me like a ton of bricks [again, well played God]:

It is simple. When it comes to others, we should be about washing feet.  

Powerful words. 
Right. On. Time.

Just Do Your Job

We [educators, legislatures, and basically everyone with an opinion] have spent the better part of this school year discussing [aka arguing, complaining, fussing, etc.] teacher pay and teacher tenure.  For the most part [and honestly, I don't read too many of the articles that circulate on Facebook] I believe those that bring up these issues are well informed and knowledgable.  By all accounts [and again, this is strictly my opinion] I believe the folks that are bringing up these arguments are good teachers who do their jobs and then some. 

Its the other people I am referring to in this post.  [And I hope that I step on a few toes.]

I love teaching [even through the struggles this year] and I was well aware that when I became a teacher that the pay wasn't superb.  I think if you become a teacher and are not aware of this little news nugget then you must live under a rock.  That's not to say that I wouldn't take a pay raise but I just am not going to hold my breath waiting for one.  [I realize this may be a juxtaposition to a previous post I made before school started.  Its not that I don't believe in those things anymore but I concede that its probably not going to happen.]

Want to know what I think the problem truly is in all of this?  

Teachers.

[I am not sure how many fellow educators read my stuff but, before you blow up like a toad, please read the rest of the story.]

There are way too many teachers out there that are on cruise control when it comes to doing their jobs.  

There are way too many teachers out there with their own agendas instead of just doing their jobs.

There are way too many teachers that complain about simply doing their jobs.

I am a teacher.  

Am I the world's best teacher?  Absolutely not. 
Are there things I can learn to do better in my classroom and for the kids I teach?  Absolutely
Do I know everything about education?  Absolutely not.
Have I done my fair share of complaining?  I am ashamed to say yes.

But what I do know is that if you do your job, to the best of your ability [We are commanded in Colossians 3:23 to "Work at it with all your heart as if working for the Lord and not for men"] then that means that you have to 

• Stay after hours.
• Get to know students and what is going on in their lives.
• Go to workshops [even in the summer] that show you are making an investment to be a lifelong learner.
• Be a team member.
• LEARN TO USE TECHNOLOGY EFFECTIVELY [in case you haven't noticed it is 2014 and the kids you are teaching know how to use technology and are begging for us to use it when we teach].
• Let the petty stuff go.
• Stop making the year all about the test at the end.
• And for goodness sake, please realize the world does NOT revolve around you.  

I mean I've been doing this for 17 years so I do have some knowledge of what a teacher should do in his/her classroom.  

I understand frustration over students that are pickles.  I've also had my eyes open to some serious situations that students deal with...things I couldn't even begin to understand.  Is this a free ticket for a student to be a turd?  Heck no, but maybe it gives me an opportunity to give a little more than I think I have left. I am as guilty as the next for getting super frustrated, especially this year. But as I type this, God is piercing my heart and whispering, "Don't you give up. Faithful endurance.  Finish the race."  It's not about me.   

I understand frustration over constant changes [been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt] to curriculum. Its really kind of comical but, after all these years, I've learned to go with the flow.  Its not conforming or giving in but just taking it in stride and learning to adapt.  There are bigger fish to fry in this world.  Trust me. 

I understand working more than one job to make ends meet. I am married to a teacher and we have four kids [what were we thinking?] and we haven't yet won the lottery.  Yes, we could use a raise, but in this economy, I am truly thankful to have a job.  No, I don't get paid over time to stay and help with a sporting event or for conferences.  But I never have, in 17 years. 

My answer?
  
Do your job.  

Teach. Worksheets and random assignments not related to what you are supposed to be teaching [aka curriculum] do not count as teaching.

Be willing to go just a little further, even when you think you cannot.  

Help others, even when you think you can't or don't have time or any of the other thousands of reasons you can think of for not helping.

Learn from your students.  Be willing to admit when you don't know the answer.

Get over yourself.  We're all stretched to capacity and beyond.  We are all tired and worn out and overworked and under paid....you are not the exception. 

I can say all of these things, with confidence, because I have lived them. I don't say them to be judgmental or call out others because these statements came from my own experiences in my classroom. 

God is working on my heart in a way that I cannot explain.  No, I don't get some things that have happened this year but it isn't about me. I often tell Craig that I cannot change what someone says but only how I react to what is said.  I should really practice what I preach :)  James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 
because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 

It is time for ALL educators to be part of the solution.  

Until we, in education, hold everyone in education accountable for teaching then nothing will change.  There is no place for teachers on cruise control in any classroom, anywhere.  There is no place for selfish motives and "doing what you've always done"  - that is just apathy. There is no place for teachers that are not willing to support school events because they live outside of the community.  There is no place for those that don't want to follow the rules because they "don't like" the rules.  There is no place for people, anywhere in education, that don't like children [please, find another job]. There is no place for complaining about what you didn't get because you chose not to attend required training.  

Simply put, everyone needs to do their job.

 

Can I Just Become a Hobo?

I have put off writing this post for a few months...not because there is anything catastrophic about what I am going to write but mostly because I feel like I've failed. [I ain't fishin' for your compliments just bein' totally honest.]

Middle school has been really tough this year.

And not much fun.

I am struggling in a big way.

I love teaching.  I love the excitement of being in the classroom when the kids "get it".  I love talking to my classes about my own children and the getting to know them.  I love introducing them to my 80s Pandora station and them making jokes about my age.  I love their humor and quirks.  I love science. [Nerd Alert]  I love talking to the kids in my classes when we are walking back and forth to lunch.  I love when they laugh at my corny jokes. 

This year is different. I've never seen so much defiance and entitlement from children.  I've never felt so small and insignificant as I do this year. [Please don't get me wrong here.  I am not looking to be recognized or thanked for anything.]

Aretha said it well...R - E - S - P - E - C - T.  

Be respectful.  
Be nice.
Be kind.
Be thankful.
Be considerate of others.
Be responsible.
Be ready to suffer consequences for negative actions.
Be resilient. 

We are creating a generation of people that can't simply "be" anymore because that is too hard.  There is a sense of entitlement that says they don't have to be respectful if the rules do not mesh with the circumstances at hand. [Imma do me.] There is no resilience and determination to find the answer, to solve the problem, to be challenged. [Imma do me.]  Simple rules of etiquette and manners flew out the window. [Imma do me.] And certainly, there is very little push to make consequences match negative behaviors. [Imma do me.]

Excuse me if I'm wrong or out of line [I was at least one time before] but when did simply being 13 or 14 entitle you to say or do anything you feel when you disagree with an adult?  Ummmm....in my house and the house I grew up in that would be....NEVER. 

We have children questioning the tone we use with them. Really?  Are you kidding me? In my house that only got you into more trouble. In the house where I am the parent that gets you into trouble.  No, my parents were not perfect but they had expectations for me and taught me to have them for myself.  My own children do not act like baffoons at school because they know the consequences will be worse at home.  BUT above all, they are respectful to adults, even if they disagree.  

Actually heard a parent say, just recently, "Well so and so is going to smart off if your tone insinuates that you are trying to be smart." So and so is 13! So and so doesn't get to decide that the tone of an adult's voice is not what they like and then make a choice not to listen.  If a child is asked to stop, to listen, to sit down, to follow directions, to get to class, to stop being loud at the lunch, or to do the task at hand then the answer is ALWAYS, "Yes ma'am." or "Yes sir."  END of discussion.        

No consequences.
No sense of responsibility to anyone but yourself.
No desire to be challenged.

The sad thing about all of this is that I am literally beating myself up over all of this and how to "fix" it. I am a pleaser.  A fixer. My hair is falling out.  I cannot sleep.  My stomach hurts.

I pray about this all the time. I know God hears me. There are positives and I am desperately trying to hang on to those things.  

And I know that I am not going to be some kind of hero and save them all and make them love science. [Or me.] 

But I do know that....
Everyone can be respectful. 
Everyone can be considerate.
Everyone can choose to reach their potential.

Stop making excuses for why you aren't following directions and simply do whatever is asked of you. Stop trying to do everything under the sun except what is being asked. Get to class on time. Sit up and pay attention.  Get some sleep at home so you can stay awake in class. Do your work.  Pick up your trash instead of walking right past it.  Take some initiative.  Get motivated. Bring a pencil to class. Follow directions the first time instead of when you are ready. Stop waiting for someone else to do things for you.  

Prove me wrong. I am waiting.

This is the Stuff Only Dreams are Made Of

This one will be short and sweet tonight....

In spite of a wretched summer, where lawmakers in NC proved [once again] that public education is the whipping boy of the state and in light of the recent stirrings on Facebook [and Twitter and the newspaper, etc.] about folks like Kelly Hastings these last two days have bee sort of magical for me.

I've been able to decorate my classroom and have planned the entire next two weeks [unbelievable for the girl who flies by the seat of her pants most of the time] with very little stress.  Everything has gone smoothly [with the exception of a few minor glitches like the 8th graders that can't open lockers and the strange looks when I told a group of parents I don't give homework].  I feel like I've hit some sort of school teacher groove or something [is that possible?].  

I know that it is nothing that I've done [and certainly we cannot blame a pay increase or for that matter, a little respect from our elected-but-you-best-enjoy-it-now officials] but something that God has blessed me with....yet again.  I'm not dumb enough to think that things will be all fantastic this year - this is still the "honeymoon" phase with the lovelies BUT I just know that God can do so much more than I could ever hope or imagine [Ephesians 3:20] and He is making a way for some big things to happen.  I am just ÜBER excited about teaching this year.  

[Sidenote: I've been out of the loop for a bit.  Just haven't been motivated enough to write....but things are changing.  Please keep reading.  My last post about education here in NC had 527 views but I am more excited God has given me this passion to write from my heart.]  

URGENT Prayer Request:  A former student [and hero in my book] Scotty Hill, is in a ferocious, uphill, seemingly insurmountable battle with cancer right now. He and his family desperately need our prayers.  Please stop whatever you are doing right now and pray for him.  God hears our prayers and He has moved so much in Scotty's life.  He will continue to move. Just pray for peace for this brave, brave young man and for his family.  

As always, life with the amazingly awesome and Jesus-filled Shorties is too good to be true...somebody please pinch me....

Just Keep Swimming

If you follow me on Facebook [and if you don't you should - I am awesome] then you know there has been a major storm a brewin' here in North Cacalacca over the budget.  I do not talk politics for several reasons: 

1. I don't know much about politics.
2. I care but I ask people I trust to get explanation. 
3. I truly believe that 99.9% of them are just in it for themselves and the agendas of the person who has the most money to give their party or campaign.

But over the last several days, I have stuck my toe in the water. [Well, in one case with Mr. Kelly Hastings, I jumped in and just told him he was a pathetic idiot....I will get to that in a minute.]  Most of you know that I am a teacher and have been for 16 years.  This budget may have catastrophic results for education in North Carolina.

We have not had a pay raise since 2007.  In fact, we haven't made a significant step up since 2007.  We used to get a small increase each year....not since 2007.  I have been teaching 16 years, with a Master's degree AND my National Board certification, and I do NOT make the average salary for a NC teacher yet. I am STILL below the average salary. Two years ago we got about a $100 a month increase between the two of us but we ended up losing $40 a month because of increased insurance premiums....long story short: That piddly little increase COST us money.The budget Nazi [aka my favorite coach] just recently told me that our take home pay has stayed basically the same, give or take $20 or $30 here and there, since 2008  Explain to me what is not to get upset about with this situation? 

[There are other issues like teacher assistants losing jobs, money being funneled to charter schools and vouchers for private schools, performance based pay,loss of funding for supplies, etc. I only feel qualified to talk about no pay raises for educators.]

Fast forward to the last 36 hours or so.  A local representative, Kelly Hastings, has a reputation of being rude and disrespectful, especially with local educators, people defending education, anyone disagreeing with his positions, or basically, anyone wearing skin. This situation was no exception.  Several months back, when the budget was first brought to the public's attention, Craig emailed Mr. Hastings, [as we were asked to do by some of our NCAE reps] and he was appalled at the response to his questions. Mr. Hastings was rude, telling Craig his opinions really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.  He never answered questions or gave any explanations for the cuts in the budget.  He was very short and not humble at all.

Fast forward to a month or so later when a fellow coach also inquired about the impending budget cuts, this time on Hastings' Facebook page [which is not private and where he boasts about things like renewing his NRA membership and all that he has done to save the world by being a NC rep] and once again, he was met with hostility on the part of Mr. Hastings. This coach's son, very active and knowledgeable about politics, also began to ask questions [his mother is an educator] and Mr. Hastings rudely cut him off, questioning this young man's experience and knowledge of the classroom. Again, he refused to answer any questions and eventually blocked both this young man and his dad from his Facebook page. [And I must say that this was such a gutsy move that took serious kahunas.  Way to go Mr. Hastings.  Good thing your middle school antics kept you from answering questions of the people that you represent. Yes. I am qualified to call your antics middle school like since I teach 8th grade.]

Yesterday I also posted a comment on said Facebook page.  Guess what? Yep, I am now blocked from looking at this page also, along with the wife and daughter of the above football coach, several other educators, and even other non-educators who questioned his stance on the budget.  Really?  I guess his next move will be to take all his toys and go home.  Tattle on us maybe.  

Yes. You can do whatever you choose with your Facebook page. I have no problem. But if you are dependent upon the votes of the very same folks that you are being rude to, in a very public forum and in a day and age of once its out there then someone has seen it, then what are you trying to do?  We are all very confused [also very amused] at this situation.  

I mean, I am no genius or political guru [though I do play one on TV] but that is a very funny way of getting votes. It seems as if we do not get on his page and give him an "atta boy" then he has no use for us.  Take for instance this little conversation, just this afternoon, found on his page [I am blocked but I am not stupid.  There is more than one way to skin a cat ya know.]:

• Kelly Hastings 4 hours ago near Cherryville On my way home from Raleigh today, I stopped to help an African American family who had a serious wreck. Two of the kids were seriously injured. I was one of the first on the scene and immediately told another man not to move the injured family; they probably had neck injuries. Next, we calmed the children down and made sure they weren’t bleeding out too much. We gathered some of their belongings to make them feel comfortable. As soon as I got home, some people were complaining because they did not get exactly what they wanted in the state budget. After seeing this injured family, I would like to ask those of you who are whining to quit whining on my page. Thank God you have a job and suck it up and drive on. When you start to whine, think about what our military men and women are going through, and think about people in the private sector who are losing their jobs and their homes. Like · · Share Kelly Hastings and 74 others like this. [Just a simple pet peeve of mine but who "likes" their own Facebook status?  Is your back bruised from all the patting you've been giving it?]
• Response 1: Thank you for all you did this session Rep. Hastings. Good job! Now go home and enjoy your family, you earned it. If you come down to Brunswick County give me a call (***-***-****) and I'll buy lunch. 4 hours ago · Like · 2
• Response 2: Hear yee Hear yee!!! 4 hours ago · Like
• Response 3:  May the Lord bless you for your courage and spirit of serving. 4 hours ago · Like · 
• Response 4: I am one of those who is VERY unhappy about the budget and am in the private sector and MAY loose my job because THE NC GOVERNMENT continues to fund 3 and 4 year olds in the PUBLIC SCHOOLS and NOT in the private sector. We are a 5 star facility and jump through hoops to maintain a high certification and the school system continues to get SMART START funding. I agree that the PUBLIC SCHOOLS need more money... I have family members who are life long teacher.. and the cuts there are unheard of... as they are in the child care area. But my final note on this is THANK YOU for stopping and helping. I do not have to agree with what you are voting for...but I do agree that as an elected public servant... we should be able to reach you and express our thoughts and concerns... even if you consider it whinning.... 4 hours ago · Like · 
• Kelly Hastings: Which provision of the budget upsets you? 4 hours ago · Like
• Response 5:  I was always told that Compromise Is successful when no one is happy. Must be a good budget. 4 hours ago via mobile · Like · 
• Response 6: You remind us of the parable of the Good Samaritan which is a parable told by Jesus. 4 hours ago · Edited · Like
• Kelly Hastings:  I have to say, it felt good to comfort the kids. 4 hours ago · Like · 2
• Response 7:  Yes indeed 4 hours ago via mobile · Like
• Response 8: Amen....good for you!!! 4 hours ago · Like · 1
• Response 9: Kelly Hastings this is heart warming. This family will never forget you. I know that the wonderful folks that was with my **** at the wreck, held his hand and comforted him means so much to me. Thank you for your kindness. Sometimes people only think they have problems. 4 hours ago · Like · 1
• Response 10: Amen 3 hours ago via mobile · Like
• Response 11:  Bravo! Sometimes it is harder to comfort an injured person and to wait helplessly than it is to be that person yourself. That family is blessed that a person like you was willing to stop and help them in their hour of need. We should all be so fortunate.
• Response 12: Thank you for the reality check. 3 hours ago via mobile · Like · 1
• Response 13: Thanks for being a good Samaritan to this family. And thanks for putting a halt on the crazy spending that has been going on in Raleigh for years. Our taxes have been so high NC is known as the "Taxachusetts" of the south. Plus the unbridled spending that was going on, if continued, would just end up bankrupting the state. We don't want to follow down the path of Detroit, now do we? 3 hours ago · Like
• Kelly Hastings:  Actually, it was a black SUV. I think it was a Chevrolet, but it was badly damaged and I really did not pay attention to that. I just know the SUV was black. 2 hours ago · Like
• Response 14: Glad you were there to help those children. Praying for healing for all those involved. 2 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2
• Response 15: Thank God you was there to help them Kelly.. Sometimes we take life for granted when we should be thanking God for what we do have. I f we would just stop look around and think every now and again we would see and realize that There are a lor of other people in this world who are a lot worse of than we are. about an hour ago · Like
• Response 16: TGIF..You were placed there at the right place and time..Consider it a god send..Does matter about the color of skin ..We all should be helping each other..Doesn't have nothing to do with any thing political..People can be so cruel........Thank you for all you do for us... about an hour ago · Edited · Like · 1
• Kelly Hastings:  As for race, mentioning African Americans was not about politics. There aren't many African Americans in House District 110. We stopped to help them regardless of the color of their skin. It was an emotional day for me and I felt like sharing it. I am sorry if I offended anyone. 36 minutes ago · Edited · Lik
• Response 17: Your heart was speaking, Kelly. You do not owe anyone an apology. God knows your heart and that is all that matters. 27 minutes ago · Like · 
• Response 18: Kelly, I was a volunteer fireman for 15 years and had the opportunity to help a lot of people in some very bad situations. I can attest to the feeling of being able to make an impact especially on children. Thanks for doing the right thing. You guys...See More a few seconds ago · Like

I am by no means belittling his service to this family.  Kudos to him for being a good Samaritan.  

However... I suppose bravado [a little ELA literary term that means to display real courage or pretend to have courage] will get you a long way with many folks. What about all the comments asking for his explanation of current budget issues, particularly those that are affecting local educators?  Oh yeah - he deleted them and then blocked ANYONE that disagreed or challenged him to explain his positions. 

To me this speaks volumes to his character as a representative.  He is willing to take all the praise but none of the criticism that comes with holding a public office.  I believe in one conversation a word came up that describes him perfectly - pretentious. [Which means making unusually justified or excessive claims; showy] 

Use it in a sentence: Kelly Hastings is pretentious and not in touch with the voters.

I read that he hung up on a voter that he represents.  He called his voters "whiners", in a public forum.  He immediately patted himself on the back for pumping money back into the state through tax breaks [thank goodness those millionaires will get the much deserved the relief they so desperately need]. He refuses to answer very simple questions posed by his voters. 

This is the kind of person making very big decisions for the education of our children.  Ultimately, educators will continue to do all they can to make sure their students succeed.  If anything, this has made me more determined in my classroom.  I will not give up on the job that I love, that I was called to do. Short and I will continue to plug away at extra jobs to make ends meet, while raising four children [on a little money and a lot of faith].  

In fact,[put feet to those promises], Mr. Hastings [and anyone else at the state level making decisions that affect my students] has an open invitation to visit my classroom.  I can assure you that unlike him, I will be cordial, respectful, forthright, and confident in my abilities that I am doing the very best for the the students I am serving.

It amazes me how much negativity is thrust at educators.  I spent a large part of today reading through commentary and articles about the budget. I guess that it isn't important to note that public education means just that - public. We teach everyone.  We do not turn away children based on behavior, disabilities, lack of money, etc.  We are responsible, many times for meeting more than academic needs - we feed them, clothe them, make sure they have school supplies, etc.  Many times, through no fault of anyone, parents expect schools to do these things and more times than not, educators take on these burdens because that is what we are called to do.  But based on things I read today, teachers are the cause of the decline of education in NC.  It is totally our fault that students do not graduate. It is our fault that test scores do not increase. It is our fault that parents sometimes choose not to take part in their own child's education.  [Where did I get a lot of this information? http://www.johnlocke.org/]  Apparently, in one commentary I read, teachers and schools tell parents that what they believe and want for their child is not important enough to be valued.  Honestly, I was stunned when I read this one ...I have worked in many schools - highly affluent to exceptionally poor - and I have watched countless administrators, teachers, assistants, district office staff, cafeteria workers, bus drivers, etc. bend over backwards and cut flips to make sure the needs of children are being met and are fully in line with parents. I just don't see this as the rule of thumb for public schools in NC. Am I naive enough to think this doesn't happen?  No. But is it the rule, enough to be written in a commentary. I just don't see it.  [Oh yeah, I am a highly-involved-don't-mind-rockin'-the-boat-kind-of-parent so I have more than one perspective.] Mind blown was what I was after reading things today...
educators just seem to have no value at all and certainly, according to people like Kelly Hastings, have no room to voice any opinions.

Its almost as if public schools are the whipping boy for much of society's lack of responsibility to our children.  None of us can raise the little boogers on our own - none of us.  I need my children's teachers to guide them and challenge them. I value my church and the tremendous influence of the Godly people who help me guide the spiritual growth of my babies.  I am in awe of grandparents [Mom and Dad to me] that advise and nurture all of us. I love my husband for being a man of integrity that they see and can imitate.  I am an honest, hard working, Christian woman who makes dinner, shuttles kids to practice, braves the elements for ball games, and who is thankful for all that she has, including her job as a teacher.  And I am not bragging when I say this so please don't take it like that, but I see my kids many times as the exception to the rule and I will tell you why:

Society tells us its OK to quit when it gets hard.  When this happens in the classroom it often becomes the fault of the teacher.  Society tells us that everyone deserves a plaque and a trophy and recognition.  When this doesn't happen in a classroom then the teacher doesn't like a child or isn't treating them fairly.  Society tells us that its OK to make our own rules. When rules are not followed at school consequences are often challenged or even worse, changed to fit individual needs. Society tells us its all about us - this "Imma do me and you do you" crap.  When we try to teach cooperation and diversity and respect of individuals then we are stifling this notion that its your world, we just live in it.

I am not raising my children to the standards set forth by society and I certainly am not relying on anyone, including educators, to raise them for me.[No. I am not a perfect parent.  I screw up on a daily basis. But I know that according to Ephesians 3:20 that God can do immeasurably more than we could ever imagine.  That gives me hope that I do not have to fear society's ever present push to let everything else be in charge of teaching my children...God has me in His hands.]  

If we want schools and educators to simply save the world and raise children according to the rules of society then I quit.  I can go work a 9-5 job that requires nothing of me past quitting time like extra conferences, sporting events, or PTA meetings and make as much or more than I am making now. 

I am not giving up.  I am not giving in or compromising my beliefs about my job and my responsibilities.  But I refuse to believe that our desire, as educators, to be treated with dignity and respect, is asking too much.  

I am not a number on a data sheet. I am an educator who follows standards and creates lessons to engage and challenge my students.  I am their biggest cheerleader and advocate in my classroom. 
   
I am not a growth score at the end of the year. I am an educator trying desperately to infuse a love of science, but more than that, a love of learning, into every student that enters my classroom. 

I am not the enemy when a student is struggling or a punishment is handed down. I want to help. I want to teach them to help themselves. I want students to be successful, not for me, but so that they feel a sense of accomplishment. 

I am not a "whiner" who is constantly begging for money.  I just want to be considered a professional, like my peers in other professions that have the same education that I have.  

I am not looking for votes. [Though I am not opposed to anyone sending money to me.]  I am not looking for pats on the back. I write what I feel - like it or leave it. 

As always, even when being "blocked" by Kelly Hastings, life as a Shortie [and a teacher] is good and I will keep swimming...just keep swimming.

Bleeding Heart

"The greater danger of most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it."Michelangelo
— AverageTriGirl.com (@AverageTriGirl) April 15, 2013

I read the above Tweet today and I liked it.  [Funny to say, "I got a Tweet."  We used to say, "Got a phone call or got an email or got a postcard or got a letter." Now I have 8th graders that own $300 phones but they don't know how to address an envelope. That isn't funny.]  My favorite coach has been known to say, after a loss that was the fault of his own team, "Well, we snatched defeat from the jaws of victory." That always makes me laugh [mostly because I think he is so funny...I'm hopelessly in love with the man] but so many times that is true.  We lower our standards, our expectations, ourselves. [And yes, that "we" most definitely includes me.  You know me well enough to know that I am not throwing stones at anyone (because throwing rocks is just mean). 99% of the time, I am talking about my own faults, failures, and flops. Sometimes, even flip flops. Yes. I am random.]

If you know me, then hopefully you know that I love teaching.  I love the kids, I love my colleagues, and I love science [yes, I am a dork]. I will be honest, though, I am slightly more than frustrated with education these days.  [Getting on soapbox]:

1. I am up to my eyeballs [that is not a hyperbole...yeah, I can use big words correctly] with stuff to do that does NOT involve teaching.  Just let me teach.  Stop filling up every single work day with more to do.  Give me time to plan and collaborate with my colleagues. 

2. Don't tell say that you are "too busy" to help with something.  There are very few people [and I do mean very few] people that are any busier than me. [No, I am not looking for your kudos and praises...just being honest.]

3. Teach the value of education, to everyone. Education isn't just about the book smarts.  Education is finding something that you like and jumping in, feet first.  Yes, as teachers, we can bore you to tears [sometimes I want to cry too] and I promise, I am working so hard not to be "that" teacher.  There are endless possibilities for every single person to find their strengths but with those endless possibilites come obstacles, stumbling blocks, and yes, WORK.  I hate to go all cliche and "Little House on the Prairie" on you but when I was growing up, I valued a challenge at school.  I wanted to know the how and why.  Today it's just about giving the answers and moving on to the next assignment. There is not much desire to be challenged anymore - by children and adults. That makes being an educator doubly difficult.  It's like a wicked trick - Take this kid far beyond their potential but you'll have to do it without much effort on their part.  [Not to be overly cynical but, if the shoe fits...] By the way, we're going to penalize you when you don't jump through all of these hoops, [many of which you've never seen because they are still at the hoop factory being changed because we love kicking a dead horse], so make doubly sure you are waving that magic wand over every student. 

[Can you sense my frustration?]

4.  Too many cracks [yes, when you are teaching middle school that can be a problem but not the kind of cracks I was speaking about - more like metaphorical cracks] and we are losing students in them.  The "Just Enough to Get By" crack is popular [and I am not talking necessarily just about the students...if we teach like this then students pick up pretty easily] and wide open.  The "I Just Want to Know the Answer" chasm [yep, that is how it is spelled]. North Carolina's personal favorite, "You Need to Know this For the Test" blackhole. ["I just took a multiple choice test and used a bubble sheet at work today," said no one ever.] And one that I hear all the time, the "Do we Have to do This?" abyss. I could go on [my sarcasm knows no end] but I will spare you the details. It takes everyone involved in the lives of our children to keep them out of the cracks [and off the crack...and keep their cracks covered because "ain't nobody got time for that"].

5. Teach compassion. Please. My heart aches for people that are treated poorly.  Growing up is hard enough. Help when you see another in need.  What a blessing you gain from lending a hand.  Why wouldn't you want to blessed by God?  We live in such an incredibly selfish world and we are teaching our children to be selfish and self-centered.  [Look no further than Twitter my friends...]  I have been told I am a bleeding heart to which I answer, "Thank you." James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  We are commanded in scripture to take care of each other.  In Matthew 25: 31-40 we see that God is commanding us to step it up and help others, no matter their circumstances.
³¹ “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. ³² All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. ³³ He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
We must teach our children to take care of each other.  That is imperative.

[I am now going to put the soapbox back.  I have said enough.]

It's no wonder my blood pressure is up. Frustrated. I am going to bed.

As always, no matter what happens, I know my God is in control.  He wants me to know that he loves me and He has me in His hands.  I just need to give it all to him and He will carry that burden for me.

Life is just good with God...always.