Assumptions

Got a good swift kick in the gut earlier tonight.

Still laying here.  
Kind of stunned.  
Kind of humored.

I've worked so hard to let petty go. 

Today it punched me squarely in the jaw. And it stung.

And it all started [or ended] with Facebook.  [And adults. Holy cow.]

I've combed back through my Facebook AND Twitter posts because the statement was made that I have made references to this particular person in my posts.

Huh?  I'll be the first to tell you that I don't do things like that at all.  I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed and I can say too much [usually to the chagrin of my poor children] BUT I dang sure know that I'm not talking about people on social media like a 14 year old.  Absolutely zero truth to that statement.    

• Have I disagreed with folks?  Sure have.  Am I embarassed or ashamed about that?  Not in the least.  
• Have I shared my despair and issues that I struggle with because I am a real person?  Absolutely. 
• Do I like to tell silly stories about my family [that mean way more to me than to any of you] via social media?  Yes!!!! [Those are my favorites.]
• Have I pulled against a certain local high school on a recent Friday night [or several recent Friday nights]?  Yes. And I will probably continue in the future. It's not Team Jesus Football. 
• Did I make fun of country music at some point, either on Facebook, Twitter, or here?  Why yes I did. 
• Have I shared my faith and my heart and what God was [and is] doing in my life?  These are the things I've tried to do the most. 

[Let's flip the tables here...]

• Have I ever read a status on Facebook or seen a tweet that made me want to punch a chicken?  Yes.
• Have I ever disagreed with something that was posted on social media?  Yes.
• Is it necessary for me to like or approve or look at everything that comes across my news feed and twitter log?  Not only is it unnecessary...who cares?

But have I EVER been just blatantly 8th grade girl mean? No. I can say that in complete confidence.

Yet, somehow, I get sucked into the dark, dreary, unpleasant underworld of

MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.

And then, like a 7th grade this-mullet-was-in-style picture [or is that just me?] hits you years later, I get hit in the face with all the unpleasantries of a bad episode of Toddlers and Tiaras.  

All ASSUMED to have been inflicted, with all the malicious intent I could muster,

to show my non-support by..............

 [*insert serious, gut-wrenching music*]

removing my name from a tagged post on Facebook.

My reaction exactly. 

I don't peg myself as particularly naïve about things but this one really made me question my sanity. 

I received a text message and Craig a phone call.

  

All of a sudden, instead of something that was just meant to keep me from getting 1003 unwanted notifications, I became this person who just wants to see the world burn.

I really, honestly and truly, just wanted the notifications to stop.  That's it. I promise. 

Newsflash!!!
I ain't perfect and I've done a lot of stupid things in my life.  I'm weird and quirky when it comes to sharing my feelings verbally [that is why I write because the words come very easily].  I haven't always made the right decisions. I can be difficult and obstinate [ask Craig and my dad] when I think I'm correct.  I'm not overly social in a lot of situations, even when I know people.

[These are things that keep me up at night but it is so worth it. The silence and the time of reflection and meditation often brings me clarity and peace when I am anxious and worried.  God's just kind of awesome like that.]

After it was all said and done, I had a long talk with Craig.  We discussed moving forward and forgiveness; working harder and being more in tune. [Remember that prayer...God raise up in me a holy passion.  He is calling on Craig and I to listen in the little things.] He reminded me of something that I said to him earlier in the summer: You can't tell God you trust Him and that you've let it go, then hang on to it.  That shows you don't really trust Him enough to give it up.  

[Shameless plug for that man of mine but if it hadn't been for him, diffusing the situation, then I'm not sure what might have happened on my end of the equation. He was gracious, kind, and open to suggestions on moving forward.]

I have a lot to work on in my own life without trying to intentionally tear down someone else. 

James 3:2: We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.