Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

When I look at my daughters I see beauty. I see two girls with confidence and wisdom.

I see one growing into a strong woman with an amazing faith in God and people.

I see one growing into a teenager with a childlike innocence and a tremendous compassion for those around her.

When I look at them I see love. And grace...boundless, endless grace. 

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Oliver Platt

"Beauty is how you feel inside. And it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical." Sophia Loren

"To all the girls that think you are fat because you are not a size zero..you're the beautiful one.  It's society who's ugly." Marilyn Monroe

How do I get there?  When I look in that mirror I see 

Ugly.

Fat.

Hideous.

Repulsive. 

I can read these things and say these things but I cannot believe these things.

#TheStruggleIsReal

[I am not fishing for compliments or for anyone to feel sorry for me.  Just being real and sharing my heart right now, at 1:49am.]

I had a situation at school, earlier this year, with some boys making fun of something physical about me. I am not sure what they said about me but I know it wasn't very nice.  Now I feel like I'm on display and an open target when I am in front of them.

For goodness sakes...I am the adult. The teacher. The one in charge.  Why am I allowing them to dictate how I feel? [And that, my friends, is the $64,000 question.] Because maybe they are right. I don't know sometimes.

Being an overweight, short, not fashionably dressed woman is difficult in today's world.  EVERY SINGLE THING I see on social media, in magazines, and apparently in the 8th grade, says that women are not beautiful if they aren't ultra skinny, long-haired, and wearing MK everything. 

I am exercising.  

I am walking.

I lost 3.5 pounds last week.  

I will get there.

So along the way, as you pray, throw my name in there...I sure could us it. 

Wake Up Parents!

There is a social media app out there called Yik Yak.

  

Parents need to wake up and check out what kids are saying about themselves and other kids. [I did erase some of what was said here.  You have been warned.  It is graphic.]

 The designers had this to say about their app to the Huffington Post:

"We were naïve," Buffington told me. "We designed the app primarily for college students. Using the app the way we intended it to be used requires a certain amount of maturity and responsibility, we were idealistic about who possessed that." When Brooks Buffington and Tyler Droll, two recent graduates of Furman University, created Yik Yak last fall, their vision was to make a "virtual bulletin board," or a messaging system that would serve as a blank slate for random thoughts or postings. Its anonymity is a major feature, says Buffington, "because that guy in the back row of your science class might be the funniest guy you never hear."

Here are some reviews from the world wide web:

Chicago Schools - Tween Us

Boston Globe

Common Sense Media

Tribune - Alabama
KXAN - Texas
Mail.com

Why am I looking at Yik Yak? [The better question here is WHY would ANYONE look at Yik Yak?] 

Yes. I'm one of those moms. 

I am all up in the "bidness" of my kids when it comes to social media.  You call it what you want.  

I call it being the parent.

I don't read their text messages but I can if they give me a reason.  Better yet, I can have their phones cut off. And throw them away. 

My job is to teach them how to be responsible adults.  Part of that job, in today's world, is to teach them about their presence on social media. If I don't teach them then things like Yik Yak will teach them. [And honestly, the thought of that makes my stomach turn.]  

I've had issues with things I've read on Twitter but at least, with Twitter, it isn't terribly hard to either figure out who is saying things or at least get Twitter accounts shut down. 

Some kids don't get it - at all.  Colleges, employers, and recruiters pay people money to befriend kids on social media so they can follow what is being said and posted. There are too many athletes that lose scholarships over social media. Even the NFL and the NBA are starting to take notice and fining athletes for lewd and inappropriate things posted on social media. Colleges will reject you if you cannot be socially responsible - and they should.  

Plus, I hate to go all old-school on you but back when I was growing up if we had issues with someone we just told them. [And yes, that might have lead to a fight or a broken saxophone or a little hair pulling.]  We didn't hide. 

Now kids are hiding. [Or at least some of them are trying to hide.]  Some of them don't care.  Wear their curse words, promiscuity, and bullying as a badge of honor. 

Parents, I must ask: Where are you?? 

Where are you while your kids are tweeting pornographic pictures to anonymous "expose" accounts??

Where are you while your kids are cussing each other and talking about awful sexual encounters on Yik Yak??

Where are you when your kids are being consumed by social media and their names are being attached to terrible things being spewed for all the world to see??

Do not give me that nonsense that everyone has a right to their own opinions. There is a HUGE difference in having an opinion and just being a huge bully. 99% of these thugs that are saying things are just that - bullies. 

Do not tell me that some parents just don't "get" social media.  If your kid has access to the internet then you need to make it your business to understand EVERY SINGLE thing they are doing. 

And please, for the sake of my sanity, do not tell me that you don't feel like you can talk to your kids about these things without making them mad.

Let them get mad! 

I am not a perfect parent. Don't even profess to be close to it.  I make many mistakes, sometimes on a daily basis.  I've had to learn [the hard way] that there is a learning curve to this parenting thing.  

My kids are all different.  One is very level-headed [like their daddy] and the other three will go zero to I-may-punch-you [just like me..or so they say...I don't see it at all....]. My kids are not perfect.  We have had many, many come to Jesus meetings in this house [and in the car and at Wal Mart and at church and too many other places to name]. 

However, I will tell you that my kids are NOT on social media using language and saying things that would make a grown man blush.  They are not saying lewd things and bullying kids.  

No. Its not because they are perfect or we are perfect.  It is simply because we encourage them to pray about issues affecting them. We encourage them to talk about problems with us.  They understand, no matter the consequences, that we need to know when there is a problem they cannot handle. Issues do not get swept under the rug.  We are brutally honest...if we don't like something [and sometimes someone] we will let them know.    

We are real.

There are rules and consequences. We have high expectations for academics and behavior.  More than that, we they know there is a responsibility to try to live a holy life that reflects God. [They've been called Bible thumpers, Holier-than-Thou, Mr. and Mrs. Goody Two Shoes, and various other names.]  

All of us, here at Casa de la Shortie, are a work in progress. But Romans 1:16 is alive and well.  

We are not ashamed. 

Know what is going on in the lives of your kids on social media.  

Stand up parents.