World History Revelations and myTunes

Tonight I helped Molly study for her world civilization final.  Two new ideas emerged during this study session...

1. Whoever create these quizzes is not fluent in what most of us call GRAMMAR. [I am no grammar queen myself but I know a run-on sentence when I see one.  Tonight I saw so many I think I am blind.] 

For example [take an enormous breath now because you won't come up for air for a good three or four minutes while reading it]: 

True or False: Even though the Magna Carta had been signed, bringing the English monarchs under the law like everyone else, the kings of England lost very little power in the 15th century because the creation of the House of Commons in Parliament actually limited Parliament's power because its membership, more numerous than before, was always divided and arguing, leaving the kings freedom to exercise power 

[What? Seriously?  Is this a statement, a group of clauses that gathered for a conference, or a question?  Is it a medieval torture device?  Is it a joke?]  

I told her she should have written her own T/F out beside it:  My teacher needs to buy some punctuation.  

2.  I took world history at some point in high school.  [At least, according to Craig, it was a requirement.  I don't remember that class at all.  I can't even think of who would be the teacher.  I guess I learned a lot didn't I?] Tonight as I helped Molly study the above mentioned test, this is a conversation I had with Craig:

Me: I have never heard of most of this stuff on this test.  Are you sure it happened?
Craig: Yes Missy.
Me: Did I learn this in world history?
Craig [insert eye roll]:  Yes Missy.
Me: I think you are wrong.  I think this stuff happened since I took world history.  Or they added it to the book after I graduated.  Maybe they wanted us to be without knowledge or something.  

True conversation. I still think he is wrong. 

[On to things that I know are true...]

Tonight at church I felt sorry for the people in front of me.  

I cannot sing. I SUCK at singing  am a horrendous singer.

Now some of you out there know what I'm talking about - admit it.  You can't carry a tune in a tin bucket so you mouth the words when put in the position of singing in a group.  That is me...most of the time.  I love music [it does NOT love me] and I really enjoy worship at my church.  Our praise band plays some awesome music.  In that service it is so loud that I don't feel as bad about my horrible set of pipes.  However, in the regular church service, it isn't loud enough to drown out my singing [I use that term very lightly].  

I know we are just asked to make a joyful noise.

I am sure the people in front of me don't consider it joyful. I apologize.  If we go to church together I will understand if you avoid me so that you don't have to hear me sing. 

You've been warned.    

Saturdays

Saturday is like one of my most favorite days....

I get to sleep late. [Most of the time anyway.]

I am not required to wear makeup. [I suppose I am not really required to wear it any day but I don't want to scare others.]

I sometimes don't take a shower until the afternoon.  [Some of you are like, "Ewwww!" I don't care.]

I get to spend ALL day with the Shorties. 

Today I went to my  mom and dad's house to help with some cleaning up. Molly gets paid to clean their house but Coop and I just went along for the ride. They've been cleaning out and wanted us to help get some things out of the attic. 

My mom and I went through old Christmas ornaments and decorations.  The very first box she opened had teddy bear stockings.  As soon as I saw them I had a vivid memory of Arden Oaks, the fireplace, big hair, and lots of teddy bears.  My mom likes LOVES teddy bears.  For several years our Christmas' were filled with the furry little creatures.  She handmade ornaments for the tree, had several around the house, and used them on our stockings.  Such great memories of the fun we had growing up.

Several boxes later we got to some things that belonged to my Granny Towery. She made a set of wise men from old dishwashing bottles.  I can remember those things sitting on  her table.  We found a small weeble wobble type Santa Claus that used to sit out around her little tree.  There were other trinkets that evoked a ton of memories....

Eating toast with four small melted pats of butter and all the grits we wanted.

Using towels that would never quite get you dry from the years and years of too much fabric softener.

The rooster that lived in Granny's closet, daring us to open up the door and mess with her good blankets.

Playing games of poker with my Uncle Greg and betting with Cheese Puffs.

The picture of Jesus that hung over her kitchen table.

The endless supply of canned food in the back bedroom. 

Smelling the distinct aroma of the front bedroom as soon as you unchained the door.

Giggling at Granny's conversations during her sleep. 

Making pallets on Saturday nights and laying down, just in time to see Tim Conway then Momma's Family.  [Granny always let us stay up to see Love Boat and Fantasy Island too.]

I am thankful, tonight more than ever, for these precious memories. My dad has her stand mixer in the attic.  As soon as I find the perfect spot for it, I am bringing it home.  I want to be able to look at it every time I cook as a reminder of a saintly woman [with the patience of Job], who kept her money in her bra, a song on her lips, and plenty of toilet paper for everyone.  

As always, its a fantastic day to be Short :)