Pee Clothes and Other Oddities

Gabe has done very well using the potty. In fact, he's done so good that we aren't even putting him in Pull-Ups at night. [Of course, Coop fears that he'll wake up to a golden shower in the middle of the night since Gabe sleeps right above him but so far so good.] This past week at nursery, he had a small accident during nap and had to change into his extra clothes. Fast forward to this morning, as Craig was preparing them to go out the door..."Gabe! You need some pee clothes!" I called out. He answered with, "Mommy! My dingle is all out of pee. Why do I need pee clothes?" Guess he had me with that one! I just piled them up and said, "Give them to Miss Trish!"

Today, the papartment collection of maintenance misfits were supposed to come do "general maintenance" inside our unit. [I feel as if, when it is called a unit, that I'm in some sci-fi thriller. Of course, when I see some that live around here, I am reminded that I'm still living Deliverance Meets Boyz in the Hood. At least, Super Weird Dad Guy has moved on to stalk some other small child.] I'm not sure what "general maintenance" entails but I can assure you it did not include a new toilet seat. Yes, there is still duct tape on the seat. Yes, the seat is still broken. Yes, you might still be a red neck if you have a toilet with duct tape on it. I'm not sure what they "generally fixed" but I feel creepy that other people were in my house [Or unit as we affectionately call it around here] while I wasn't home. I try not to think about it...that doesn't work. On the bright side, the we-stay-up-all-hours-of-the-night-and-drop-randomly-large-objects-in-the-floor-neighbors above us have either fled the country [He writes on the bumper of his car....I'm just sayin...] or they are on vacation - fled the country sounds more plausible. We haven't heard their foot steps, loud bangs, coughs, or strange noises for nearly a week now. [Reminds me of a song: "Almost Paradise..we're knockin' on Heaven's door...how we could we ask for more..."] We do have a new neighbor...with a cat...on a leash. [Which reminds of yet another song: "Catscratch fever!"] Did Ted Bundy own a cat?

I have decided to focus on some changes in my life over the summer. I cannot wait to be out of school [6.5 days left...but who's counting?] and I cannot wait to spend the summer with my babies [including Shorty] but I have decided that I have to get back into shape. I am just completely embarassed at my weight - how could I let myself go like this? I was doing so well just 3 months ago and now it's like I turn around because I think someone if following me and I see it is just my big butt...I am not going to be the fat girl anymore. I have signed up for the women's only triathlon in September so it is my goal this summer to get back into shape. Stay tuned....

Tomorrow is Emma Katherine's dance recital and Molly's got a tournament in Spartanburg so we will be busy. As always, life is fantastic :)

Missy ♥

Sa-Furry Rides and Jack A**

This past Friday Emma, Gabe, and I headed to Hollywild Animal Park [or, as I affectionately named it HollyPoop Animal Poop Park] for her final Kindergarten field trip. If you've never been there before......SAVE YOUR MONEY...what a dump...or should I say there's a lot of "dump" and it is EVERYWHERE! Duck poop, goat poop, peacock poop, giant tortoise poop, and bird poop - littering the ground. My Gabe does not watch where he is going anyway so you can imagine my terror as he runs, throwing caution to the wind, through the animals that wander around this place. Of course, it wouldn't be a trip to the zoo if some animals weren't, ummm, having "relations" with each other. [If you need help with that one then you need help.] At least we didn't have to watch them "fight" too long before some other nasty, ill-kept, tired animal caught the attention of my children as I dodged the poop to follow them. OMG - Don't even get me started on the bathrooms - I think the animals had better digs than we did...I was afraid I'd contracted some viral or better yet, fungal infection by simply walking into the crappy [no pun intended] bathrooms. There wasn't enough soap or hand sanitizer around to wash off that filth- zoo or bathroom. As if the poop and filth wasn't enough, check out this little tid bit of info: The place where you buy a small bottle of goat kool-aid [don't ask] and feed for the ducks [yes, the ones that poop EVERYWHERE] is also the SAME place where you can purchase snacks for YOURSELF - what the
h *&%? Emma and Gabe wanted to buy a snack and I would've felt better picking up a solid piece of duck poop and feeding it to them.

Apparently one of the amazing parts of this trip is the safari ride. Now, seriously, do you expect me to believe there is a safari in the middle of Nowhere, I mean Inman, South Carolina? This was more like a trip through someone's pasture, with random animals placed along a road ALONG WITH a bunch of crap [again, no pun intended] that one might find at a junk yard. A small area was set aside for the elusive Christmas floats - glad they didn't escape. Not only where we acosted by small goats and ducks in the park but on the the safari [Sa-Furry as Emma continues to call it] we were licked by large, fly infested animals. All I remember is being told NOT to touch their horns [which, incidentally, was the VERY last thing on my mind....not being eaten was absolutely first]. I also found it a little scary and a bit strange that this one ostrich kept following our Sa-Furry bus [aka SC school bus painted to resemble a zebra]. Then, we passed a nice green pond that appeared to be the great kingdom of the mosquito. So, if someone approaches you and ask you to go to Hollywild Animal Park with them, respectfully decline, fake choking on a french fry, or run quickly in the opposite direction.

Friday afternoon [after the amazingly awful trip to Hollypoop Wild Animal Poop Park] we were all piled in the car, coming home from school, and I was trying to get on 74 from KM...except a man in the lane beside the exit ramp would not move into the far lane. I ran out of exit ramp before he moved and in my distaste for his lack of driving skills I called him a jackass. [I know I just got some "I-can't-believe-she-says-that-in-front-of-her-kids" sighs and eye rolls from some readers out there] Of course, the one in the car listening is none other than...yes, you guessed it, Gabriel. And what does he say? "Goodbye jackass!" Oh well, I'd dodged poop all day...what do you expect?

Emma has decided that when she gets to kiss a boy [I know that is a shocker for some of you that know Emma] that she's going to ask him if he wants to tango. What in the world will I do when she turns 13? Oh my....

As always...life in the parpartment is good...and the duct taped toilet is holding up.

Missy ♥